You're the 'IT' girl
by ForeverLove2196
Summary: Hermione Granger is the one and only it girl, spell after spell to perfect her appearance before she enter the Wizadring world. She's number one at Hogwarts and wanted by all, though she doesn't care. She's not a mudblood in this. She's pure but could care less. She has a secret that she's unwilling to share. Draco digs deeper to find who she reallly is and what she's hiding.
1. Just an Intro

Hogwarts was the private wizarding school to get into. It was a huge school with medium student. It was like any typical school, grouped by years. There were four houses; Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Slytherin, and last but not least Ravenclaw. I know what you are all thinking… what else could they be separated into? Well, blood. Purebloods have full wizarding ties, halfbloods are made by a mudblood and pureblood, and mudbloods are a wizard born from two muggles. Now, what are muggles? Muggles are your average humans that have no idea about wizarding or what isn't there. Now, moving on… then there is the petty separations, like prettiest, popular, nerdy, sexy, and etcetera.

We'll start with the roles of everyone here at Hogwarts. Hermione Granger, the soon to be head girl, the most popular girl, and wanted and envied by all. She's the definition of pure. She wears a cross around her neck and reads the bible, she's the one everyone wants… but can never really have. Her hair hangs to her waist in sex hair curls, because of a spell she uses every morning, her eyes are whichever contacts she chooses to wear, and her body is thin and tight. She is also blessed in the feminine gene pool, large breasts and round butt. She is what everyone describes as the perfect woman. The only problem with all her fame… she doesn't care about it. She's just… her. Moving on.

Draco Malfoy is the soon to be head boy. Granger and him are the two top students at Hogwarts and they're proud. He's tall and muscular, yet thin and his hair is platinum blonde. He's drop dead sexy, every girl wants him, but he's like Granger, a tease. The only difference, he does put out, but not much. Then there are his three followers, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Blaise Zabini.

Harry Potter is one of the four hottest men in the school, his nerdy look only tops it when you get him into the sack, tall and muscular. He knows what he's doing and he does it a lot. He and the others all try and talk to Granger, but she's not interested. He's going to be a great wizard and he knows it, he's a Slytherin and also the seeker of their quidditch team.

Ronald Weasley, red haired and gifted with fire. He and Harry are the biggest playboys in the school and proud. Ron is in love with sex, he does anything for it. He's tall and charming, but a total wanker.

Blaise Zabini is the second hottest man around, all girls fawn over him and his friends, only he pays no attention. The hot Italian is more mature than he should be for someone at sixteen. He's grown up and ready to face the world. If possible he would be the closest math to Hermione Granger… you know, if it weren't for the fact that they are best friends and are disgusted to think of each other that way. He loves her like a sister, and that just eats at him. Watching all those men fawn over her and want to use her, he's proud to have taught that Gryffindor to not let anyone push her around.

Ginny Weasley is the least popular girl in the school and sister of Ron. She's only left alone because of that. She and Hermione are best friends. She's just a little taller than Hermione and thin as a stick. She's fit though. She's in love with Harry, but he's too caught up in the skanks to realize he loves her too.

Luna Lovegood, the insane beauty. She's absolutely stunning, but no one ever gets past the crazy to see how amazing she is. She doesn't care though, friends of Hermione and Ginny. She has long blonde hair and bright blue eyes that sparkle with love and admiration.

Neville Longbottom is the loser. Hermione is nice to him and he likes it. He's picked on mercilessly. He was transferred last year.

I believe that is about it… now, on with the story? I'll include more when a new character comes up, most will be in Hermione's point of view.


	2. What the Hell?

**September to almost mid-October: **

I was sowed the cuts shut once more, biting into the towel with pain. It had been a month since school was up and running again. My father's inflictions were re-opened when we dueled in Defense against the Dark Arts. I knew how to keep quiet about things. No one knew about my father, not even mum. They had divorced three years ago and I was split between the two of them. I was sixteen just three weeks ago and still have another two schooling years to be with father. It was torturous, but now I knew how to use muggle techniques. I had pierced and tattooed things, I had learned to bandage all wounds inflicted since my father put a no healing hex on every injury he created. That's why my ribs have burned for the last three years, they've been broken over and over. It was torturous. I wound the bandages around my middle and buttoned up my white oxford to mid cleavage. I put the cross back on and my tie. I cast a spell, fixing my hair and makeup. I looked hot. I walked out to the room I shared with Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley.

"You look good, what took you so long though?" the sleepy red head wined groggily.

"I had to cover the tats." I said simply. They had seen me naked once, after I had gotten my fourth tattoo, that was three years ago… before the beatings got worse. "I'm going to head to breakfast since you take forever."

"Save me a spot." She called as Luna and I walked out.

"Have you seen the quad yet?" her dream like voice asked softly.

"No, have you?" I wagged my eyebrows at her. She blushed slightly. "You like him… just admit it." I nudged her. She shoved me lightly.

"Shut up." She went silent, trying to control her blush. I just laughed at her while we walked. "Stop, I mean it." Her face showed embarrassment, but her eyes were filled with humor. I laughed even harder. We rounded the corner and stopped off to the side of the dining area. "Come on." She shoved me again.

"No, it's hilarious. Last year you were called Loony and now you're drop dead gorgeous and know who you want. That's awesome." I encouraged her.

"Well, haven't you found out who you wanted?" she cocked her head to the side. Fred and George walked over to us.

"Morning ladies… watchya' talking about?" Fred leaned against the wall behind me.

"We're talking about crushes." Luna answered, smirking at me. "Mione here was just about to tell me who she likes." The twins smirked at me.

"I'm not really interested in anyone…" I shrugged, looking at Fred. "Well… except maybe you." I purred. He stepped closer to me, my back flat against the wall.

"You know you're playing with fire." He chuckled. Our bodies were inches apart. I loved flirting with people, I loved leading guys on. This year would be different though, I was sure of it. I just stared into his striking eyes.

"Really?" I put my hand on his chest. "How?" I breathed as my hand slid down the muscles.

"Mione." I dropped my hand as Luna scolded me. "Geez, what happened to you this summer?" I hadn't shared my summer tales. I did a lot when I wasn't getting hit by my father. I grinned at her.

"I guess I'll share those stories another time… can't you see I'm busy?" I winked at her, turning back to Fred. I put my hand back on his chest. "Now where was I…?" I trailed off, tracing patterns on his chest, feeling it rumbled with the matching growl. "Oh yes, now, how am I playing with fire?" I purred, trailing my hand back down his chest. I was right above his trousers when his hand caught mine. I swallowed the smirk on my lips.

"You know my brother has been trying to get your attention for years now." he was fighting to do what was right.

"George didn't seem to care?" I joked. Fred's eyes shot to his smirking twin.

"Can't get enough of us Weasley's can you?" George asked.

"Well, after you? I'll be good." I pulled him in a little closer.

"Did you really get with George?" he asked against my lips.

"No, it was only a kiss." I promised.

"Why did you kiss him?" I pulled away slightly.

"I don't know. Seeing how it was?" I offered. "Remember when Ginny was a blushing fool fourth year?" he nodded. "She wanted to learn how to kiss." I watched his face contort from confusion to shock.

"You kissed…?" I smirked.

"Once, then I told her it would be awkward and that's when she dated to learn her current skills." He shook his head in despair. "Come on, your brother's kissed me." I put my hand on his hip, the other on his strong shoulder. I noticed that George and Luna stepped a few feet away, chatting about Nargles.

"Ah, but what did he think of it?" I smirked. I leaned closer to him, looking over his shoulder, his body tense.

"Oh George…" he looked at me, smirking. "How was it kissing me?"

"Bloody amazing." He went back to conversing with Luna. I leaned back slightly, trailing kisses down his jaw.

"We've been doing this dance for years now Fred…" I met his dark eyes. "I know you want me." I pursued. He was silent. He knew he was in over his head. I released my hold on him. "If you let me walk away again I won't return." I whispered. I stay there a moment, hoping he would say something. He watched me, his face showing his thoughts. I went to take a step, his hand reaching out and stopping me.

"You really want to finally try this?" his voice was hoarse.

"I wouldn't be standing here if I didn't." I confirmed.

"Are we dating then?"

"We'll work our way there." I promised. He stepped closer, our bodies together now.

"You have been such a tease…" he leaned in, whispering it in my ear. I watched the quad walking towards us with a now awake Ginny. I saw confusion on their faces.

"Kiss me." I whispered into his ear. He pulled back enough for us to look into each other's eyes, but close enough our lips were barely touching. He looked at me as if asking if I was sure. "Kiss me." he didn't let me finish. His lips attacked mine, they were soft and demanding. They massaged mine, tongue mixing with tongue. I swallowed the moan in my throat. I wrapped my hands into his fiery hair. I knew I was forgetting something when he pulled away to breathe. He watched my eyes. I swallowed gulps of air. "Good start." I mumbled making him laugh.

"George was right." He murmured. I grinned. "I'll have to see what Ginny thought of you." I shoved him teasingly. He took a few steps back from my wrath.

"I should have never told you that." I blushed. He grinned, pulling me into his embrace. He kissed me quickly once more.

"Now, I am a Weasley and I want food. I'll see you later." He pulled away, but paused. He looked at the quad and Ginny and grinned. He turned back to me, kissing me longingly. I laughed as he walked with George into the great hall. I looked back at them in a great mood.

"So, you want to go eat red?" I looked at Ginny. She numbly nodded. "You?" I looked at Luna.

"You got the twins to kiss you." She admired. I smirked.

"If you think that's impressive, you should hear what I do in the summer." Her eyes widened. "Now, I'm starved."

"Did you tell them about fourth year?" Ginny stopped me. I bit my lip, hesitating.

"Yes she did." Luna squealed.

"Traitor." I hissed. She grinned.

"Why?" she whined once more. I bit my lip once more.

"It might be because Fred joked that she couldn't get enough of the Weasley's…" Luna said. "Or when Fred basically asked how many relatives of his she kissed after he found out about George."

"You kissed George?" I looked at Ron and sighed.

"Yes, I have kissed the twins and another Weasley." I shrugged. "No big deal." I looked at the quad. The quad was short for what was known as the Lustful Slytherin's. Everyone wanted them, just as everyone wanted us. The quad included Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Harry Potter, and Ronald Weasley. We as you know, are Luna, Ginny, and I.

"You know, you never kiss any of us." Harry purred.

"I could if I wanted too." He smirked.

"Are you saying you don't want too?" I smirked back.

"I didn't say that… you did." His face held mock hurt.

"How could you not want me?"

"I'm sort of dating your best friend's older brother." I said simply. "Say my… hunger… has been satiated." His eyes grew dark.

"You're a tease." Ron growled. "You're a tease to us all."

"Funny, your brothers say the same thing." He turned red with anger. "I'm hungry in a way only food could satiate me." I looked at Luna and Ginny. "Coming?"

"Yes." We all left the angry Ron behind. We sat and filled our plates. I gingerly ate the food, careful not to move or hurt the bruises underneath. "So tell us one thing you did this summer." Ginny was now happy as could be.

"Well, my dad being the wizard muggle dentist he is lives in the muggle world… so I'm left to do no magic and entertain myself. As you know he sign's everything I give him so I got a few new piercings."

"Don't you already have five?" I nodded. I pulled my hair up showing the seven new ones that decorated my ears. "Wow." Luna said simply.

"Yep, there, you have one summer story." I finished eating. "I'm glad we have the same classes this year."

"Uh, me too." Ginny and Luna agreed. "We have Slughorn's first." I nodded.

"He's so… old." Was all I could think of to say. "We need hot professors… not evil ones like Snape or old ones like Slughorn." I put my head in my hands. "Are you ready to head to first hour?"

"To bad this class is two." Ginny joked. I laughed and stood with them. I put my rich girl bag on my shoulder and followed them out.

-X-X-X-

We were cackling at Cuthbert Binns. She was trying to convince us she was in the right place. "No Mrs. Binns." I replied firmly. "You're in Potions with Slughorn. You want to be up with the professor for history." I insisted.

"This is my old classroom." She insisted.

"I bet it is…" she nodded, finally glad to have someone believe her. "Well I have an idea. Why don't you take a stroll around the castle and come back once this class is over. Then you can talk to Professor Slughorn and tell him you want your classroom back." Ginny was smiling, trying not to laugh and Luna was smirking.

"Okay, when is this hour over?"

"This is a two hour class. Come back at ten thirty." I insisted. She nodded and walked out the door, through the quad. I waited a few seconds before joining the laughter. The rest of the class was congratulating me on getting rid of the old bat. "Okay, now we just have to wait for Sluggie." I sat back in my chair, hands behind my head. I let the girls talk about my new found love. It was in the rumor mill now. I was apparently dating Fred because Ron wouldn't look at me. No one actually believes that, they're all too busy being curiously jealous.

"Good morning class." Slughorn walked in. "Today you will get your books." He handed them out. I looked at the advanced potions book. "Now, once you put them in your bags come and stand around the head lab table." we all shuffled forward. This was a tiny class, only advanced students. "Now, I'm going to open this vial, I will call on someone once the smell spreads." I was a little worried. He opened the vial and waited a few minutes. I smelled sweat, not gross stinky sweat… sexy sweat if that's possible. I also smelled freshly mowed grass, an odd spice, and… I don't know what it is. "Now, I see you all smell it…"

"What is it?" Nott asked. I took a small step forward, trying to put a name to the odd smell.

"Well, Ms. Granger what do you smell?" I felt all eyes on me.

"I smell…" I smelled it again, my womanly parts dancing. "Spice, but I can't put a name on which one."

"I can tell you smell more Granger, say everything."

"I smell freshly mowed grass… sweat, but not gross smelling sweat… and then I smell mint almost, but it's mixed with an earthy smell." I realized how close I was and how much more my desire increased as I smelled more of it.

"Good, good." He put the cap back on, me going back to my senses. "Now, anyone tell me what it is?" I slowly raised my hand. "Granger."

"Amortentia, it's a love potion making the person you give it to fall in love with you. When just sitting like it was and you smell it… it gives off the aroma of everything you find desirable and you grow intense desire." I swallowed, stepping back with my friends. Ginny leaned into my ear.

"Fred smells nothing like that."

"I know." I silently chuckled.

"We will be making this for my potions cabinet. You all will be paired together and work on this for the next two weeks, you must make ten vials each and do a report with information on all ingredients… understood?" we all nodded. "The potion is in the book. I will name off the pairs now. Weasley with Nott, Zabini with Lovegood, Abbott with Abercrombie, Potter with Weaselette, and Malfoy with Granger." He looked at us all. "You may begin. See you in two weeks for the turn in." he went to his desk, working on his studies. I walked over to a lab table, Malfoy tolling behind. When we got situated I pulled my book open.

"It takes a week to brew to perfection. We will have to take turns checking it for the next week." He nodded. "I'll get goggles, you get the ingredients." We split off. I knew I didn't love Fred… I just was hoping I would like his scent. I needed to find the scents I desired for a chance at happiness I guess, but really… can you be happy when abused?

"Here you go." I snapped away from my thoughts. I smiled politely at Draco.

"We will need to get study dates to work on the research." I said beginning the potion. He watched me, helping when he could. When he was stirring did he actually talk.

"You really pissed off Ron this morning." He said casually.

"He's with Lavender. He should only be with her. He's not who I want anyways." I shrugged.

"Who do you want?" I met his cold greyish eyes.

"I don't know yet." I said honestly.

"You're dating Fred."

"Yes, but him and George always go for twins. I'm not a twin."

"Obviously." He snorted. I rolled my eyes and let him continue stirring. "Are you a prefect this year?" I nodded. "So am I. Looks like I get to torture you." He smirked at me.

"You could never torture… only pleasure." I purred. As soon as I finished I couldn't believe I said such things. I put up my emotional wall. I focused on the potion, pretending I said nothing.

"Tonight we have a prefects meeting." He mumbled. I looked at him and nodded. "Tomorrow during free period we can meet in the library to work on the essay." He went awkwardly silent.

"I can't believe I said that." He laughed.

"Me either."

-X-X-X-

He kissed my lips one last time. "Skip it." I smirked at him.

"That's not entailed on my prefect duties." I kissed him again, a little longer this time. "I'll see you later." I mumbled around his lips. I pulled away, meeting his striking eyes. "We are in the same house." I smiled at him. "See you tonight." I kissed him one last time and slipped in the door before he distracted me again. I sat down next to the now Head Girl, Katie Bell. We waited for Malfoy to get here to start. When he finally slipped in, disgust was on his face.

"Okay, let's get started." Katie announced, standing with Head Boy, Miles Bletchley. "So, we have the Halloween Masquerade ball coming up… any ideas for a theme?" I raised my hand. "Granger?"

"Well, see in the Muggle world they celebrate Halloween as dressing as their ideas of us. Like vampires with red eyes and long fangs and Werewolves covered in hair and ten feet tall. Then witches have green skin and warts and are ugly and Wizards look like Dumbledore only with purple robes and really short…" they all laughed at the assumptions. "They think we look like that, but of course we don't. So why don't we dress like them? We dress how they think we look."

"That's brilliant. We would need to go into the Muggle world though."

"Well, yes, we can do that. I mean, I know my way around London and such. I can take a group with me and other that know the Muggle world can. We can take groups of twenty for the next two weeks."

"That's smart. You and I will go to Dumbledore after this and ask permission."

"Okay." I relaxed back into my seat. I knew what I wanted to go as.

"That's mainly the business, the schedules have been made and will be passed out… any questions?"

"Yeah." Nott stood up. "What else do the muggles dress as?" they all looked at me.

"Well, some dress as animals, other superheroes you have never heard of, and there are skanky outfits to say the least… little girls dress as princesses, and a lot of others. That should be a study, Muggle Halloween. My dad ordered me home last year for his Muggle party and it was scary seeing what they thought of the wizard world… do you know what they think mermaid's look like?"

"I'm scared to ask…" Katie joked.

"They think they have long perfect hair and tanned skin, long tail that is colored like purple, blue, green and such and they have matching seashell's to cover upper lady parts." We all laughed at that. "It's scary what Muggles come up with." They all agreed.

"Okay, before I have nightmares, pick up the patrolling schedules and whoever's written down do it." Katie concluded. "Granger, follow me."

-X-X-X-

"That's a brilliant idea, it'll give some of the blood racists here a view on things. It'll be diverse." Dumbledore exclaimed. He was an enthusiastic old man. "You may start tomorrow, to give it a good go. Halloween is in three weeks and the decorations will also need to be done." He shooed us. "Hermione can take anyone she wants tomorrow and every prefect will do so. Malfoy and her will do the first group." I nodded. "Now, I have work to do."

-X-X-X-

We walked to a large Halloween store in the darker part of the city. I let the group loose, watching them. It took a few hours for the girls to find anything. They were still shopping after lunch, the men were sitting about. I was lying in the dressing room telling them who looked good in what. Finally I gave a half hour warning. Malfoy came in, seeing me on my back.

"I like you in this position." He smirked down at me. Giggles sounded through the dressing room.

"I know what position I would like you in." I replied glaring. Giggles erupted once more. I even heard a comment about getting it in. What was it? "Tell them we'll be done in a half hour."

"You've been telling them that for the past three hours. Well, return them to school then and bring others. We'll just keep switching. Talk to Dumbledore about it first though."

"Okay." He walked out of the dressing room, stopping at the door. "By the way Granger, nice knickers." I put my legs down, skirt flattening and cheeks flushed. I watched him laugh and leave.

"Looks like you have a longer time now girls." Squeals sounded. I closed my eyes and waited for Draco's return.

…

"Go away." I mumbled. I heard a snicker. I looked up to see the girls ready to check out. We walked to the front of the store and I let them check out. There were a lot of fairies and princesses. I didn't let them get anything too provocative. Just as the last girl finished up Draco returned with men. He walked over to me. "They've finished. I'll go get more girls."

"When are you three shopping?" he side stepped my greeting.

"We'll go after everyone else. I already know what I want. You four and the twins can join us."

"Okay, sounds good." I nodded.

"Let's go girls."

-X-X-X-

The next two and a half weeks were torture. Fred and I broke up, he found a set of twins he and George wanted. I didn't really care that much. I was stuck running errands with the student between Wizarding world and Muggle world. It was now our group, minus the twins who went with their twins last week. It was the Saturday before our dance. I was so excited. My cuts and bruises have healed and now I was working on my ribs healing. I didn't like to think about vacations like others, that meant I went home.

The boys were watching the costume parade we did out of the dressing room. We wanted to all go as something relating each other. Ginny wanted princesses, Luna wanted naughty maids, and I went with cops. I heard Ginny groan looking at the outfit. "Just try it on." The boys watched us with humor.

"It looks so covering."

"I'm not going to look like a slut. Plus, this is tinier than it looks." I defended the girl cop outfit.

"Why can't we go as that?" she pointed to the Lady Gaga tape costume.

"She's disgusting. I promised Dumbledore it wouldn't be bad. Come on." Luna was smiling at me for my choice.

"You try it on first." Ginny bargained.

"Fine." I grabbed the extra small outfit. That's the size I was. I went into the dressing room, quickly dressing. I tightened the belt with the handcuffs and plastic beat stick. I appreciated my features in the mirror. The shorts went from right above my butt to right under, no breathing room. The shirt dipped down to between my cleavage, meaning no bra. I took it off. I looked myself over once more. I put the hat on, casting a spell to make my hair black in large sex curls. I put the sunglasses on and stepped out to let them observe.

"What do you mean that isn't slutty?" Ginny asked excited. I smirked. The shirt ended above my belly button, showing my back tattoo and side tattoo, you could also see my bellybutton ring. "That is pierced too?" I smirked.

"You wouldn't believe all the things you can pierce." I said simply.

"Jean?" I knew it was a muggle immediately. I never gave anyone my middle name. I looked to see this summer's fling, Jason. "Look at you." He smirked.

"Look at you." I let him hug me.

"I see you lost the bruises." He admired me flat stomach.

"Yep, all healed." I smiled. "So, getting ready for Halloween?"

"You bet… I'm going as a Warlock." He loved believing something else was out there. "Maybe you can stop by sometime?" he looked hopeful.

"When I come home for St. Andrew's break." I promised.

"Mom and her tight leash?" I nodded. He kissed my cheek. "My babe's waiting." He winked. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Have fun."

"It won't be much… you aren't there." He pouted as he walked away. "See you at break time." He left.

"Who was that?" I looked at Harry.

"He's just a friend." I shrugged. I looked back at the girls. "Back to discussion… see this will fit you Ginny. That top dips so low that you can't wear a bra." She squealed happily.

"It's perfect." She grabbed it and went to try it on. I looked at Luna.

"You can try it on too if you want, but I'm pretty sure Blaise can only take so much." I winked at her. She grabbed her outfit, scurrying away with her reddened face. I laughed, turning back to the boys. "So, what did you guys decided to go as?"

"You'll just have to wait and see." Harry purred. I smirked.

"You don't stand a chance."

"Hey, I had to try. Fred got his shot, I'm waiting for mine." He defended himself.

"Why don't you guys go back? I'll finish up." They nodded and left. I rushed back to the stalls. That was to get them gone. "Okay guys, come on out. I have the perfect outfits." They grinned and walked out.

"Good, I love the police officer outfit though."

"Oh yes, I am still getting this… but now we have a chance to get something else and surprise them." They all nodded and we went through the store once we were sure they left. It took three more hours, but we found something that fit us. Luna went as a dark huntress. She had on a tight black corset and shorts and a black cape with a long sword. Ginny is going at the devil with a black and red tight dress with tail and all. I decided on a belly dancer outfit. I was dark tanned so it worked. It was a dark brown top that barely held my breasts and the straps crisscrossed into the back, with a purple bottom, the slits showing off my long legs and barely covering my lady part or butt. The outfit looked amazing, my body tight and fit in it. I removed it and headed for the check out. We checked out, giggling about our outfit surprises.

-X-X-X-

I was hopping with excitement. We were up in our room getting ready. My body was almost fully healed, gladly. I just got out of the shower, slipping on the top and thong. I walked out to give Ginny the bathroom. Luna was dressed, having already showered before me. She was fixing her hair, to be honest, she looked hot. We had gotten matching masks to go with our outfits. I began fixing my bottom half of my outfit, the see through purple looking good. My tattoos would be said as wet and dried. They are a brand of fake tattoos you got on a paper. You wet a cloth and put it on what you wanted, when peeled off it would look like a tattoo. My body was full of them. I did my makeup and hair, curling the long black strands. I put on the slight see through mouth piece and belly chain that went through my bellybutton ring.

"What else do you have pierced?" Ginny asked as she saw my hook the chain through.

"Are you sure you want to know?" I warned. They both nodded. I put the chains and other accessories on that came with the outfit. "I have my clit pierced and my nipples." I watched as their jaws dropped. "I also have my nose done and eyebrow. I just have to put a ring in them."

"When did you get this all done?"

"A while back…" I shrugged. I pulled a stud from my jewelry box. "I also have my tongue done." I smirked as their eyes widened. I stuck my tongue out and put the ring through.

"Why did you get all that done?" she motioned to my body. I stared Luna straight in the eye.

"I hated that people thought they knew me." I answered truthfully. "That's why I want to have fun tonight, no one will know me." Luna zipped up her thigh high boots.

"We'll have a bloody good time." She assured. I smiled and nodded. I put on my huge heels, standing up gracefully. I clamped the arm clamp thing around my bicep, the swirly metal decorating my skin. "Ready girls?" she asked as Ginny finished up.

"Yep." Ginny looked in the mirror one last time. "I look good in red."

"Duh, your hair is red." She snorted at my obvious statement. "Let's go."

…

I looked in amazement at the Muggle Halloween decorations. I smiled at everyone. They were having so much fun. Ginny had me cast spell to dye her hair blonde before we had left. She was now blonde and devil like. You couldn't tell who it was, you couldn't tell Luna either, and… I wasn't so sure about me. I looked around us. "Let's go get a drink." They played muggle music too. It was now muggle history. Everyone was having fun too. I was glad I thought of the theme. I drank the pumpkin juice.

"This is amazing." Luna shouted over the music.

"It really is." Ginny agreed. I nodded along. "Let's dance." She said loudly as an upbeat song came on. We all went to the floor and danced. I was having so much fun until Dumbledore stepped up and stopped the music.

"Welcome to the All Hallow's Eve Ball." Everyone stood and watched him. "We all appreciate the dances our prefects hold all the time, thank them when you see them. Now, to sum this up so you can go back to having fun…" he cleared his throat. "Hermione Granger and Katie Bell deserve a round of applause for thinking of this. They thought we should celebrate the way Muggles do and look how much fun we're having." He smiled. "Let the party continue." It was awkward since he was never put in this position before, but it did. The music blasted through the Great Hall. We all had fun. I loved it.

"Let's take a break." Luna yelled to us. We both followed her off the floor to the food table. I nibbled on a few muggle snacks.

"They have awful taste in foods. I think they should get chocolate frogs." Ginny said next to me. I smiled and nodded. I took a sip of my drink once more. "Let's sit." We walked over to a few tables and sat down. "God, this was the best idea anyone could have thought of. I didn't want to be in dress robes again." I smirked at her.

"I totally agree. I like being someone no one recognizes." Luna agreed with me. "I wonder who I'll ask to dance for a slow dance."

"How did you even choose the music?"

"I called Jason up and asked for his music collection and I got it."

"Called?"

"A phone." I described. "It's weird." They laughed. A tall dark man approached Luna.

"May I have this dance?" he asked. She looked at us and we both nodded. She smiled and walked off with him.

"That leaves two." Ginny sighed. "Why can't he just ask me already?" she groaned.

"Who love?"

"No one." Her face heated up. I looked at her seriously, about to question her further until a dark hunter stepped up to her.

"Can I have this dance?" I smirked as she accepted.

"And there was one." I put my feet up on the chair in front of me, listening to the muggle songs. I sang to the Taylor Swift's Haunted. The song ended when I was approached. It was Robin Hood. I bit my lip at the sexy shirtless man. I sat up.

"May I have this dance?" He held his strong muscled hand out. I looked at it, perking up as my favorite Muggle song came on. I stood slowly, gracefully. I was still shorter than him with my four inch heels on.

"You may." I smiled as he pulled me out to the dance floor. His eyes were a dark blue, striking. I let him pull me skin tight to him. We moved as one, not dirty or anything. He danced with me quietly for the first thirty seconds.

"So, I have been meaning to ask you this question since I saw you enter…" he began, his voice deep and masculine. "Are those tattoos real?" I smirked at him.

"Yeah, they're real." We never left each other's eyes. "I have a question."

"What is it love?" he whispered. It was like it was only us in the world. I was swirling in his eyes.

"If you've been watching me all night… why didn't you ask me to dance sooner?"

"Who said I was watching you?" he asked as he spun us.

"Good point." He smiled a full smile. "Well, you still could have asked sooner." He laughed.

"I could have, but then I wouldn't have been able to admire you from afar." My face heated up.

"I'm no one to admire." I whispered. He looked down at me.

"Why do you think that?" he looked so serious.

"Well… I see how the boys here look at me… like I'm another piece of me, a challenge waiting to be conquered." I shrugged. I looked past his shoulder at Luna and Ginny to see them talking with their mystery matches.

"It's good that you're not with a boy then isn't it." I cocked my head to the side in confusion. "You're with a man." I laughed.

"A little cocky aren't you?" he grinned.

"No, just truthful." I laughed. "I'll never lie to you."

"That's good." I turned serious. He wrapped his arms around my waist, I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I'm tired of being lied to." I laid my head on his chest. I smelled it. I took in a few deep breaths. I smiled, finally happy I found him.

"Take a walk with me." he whispered in my ear. I pulled back, looking up at his gorgeous eyes.

"Okay." I let him pulled me to where his friends were. They were with Luna and Ginny.

"Hey, I'm taking a walk." They looked up to notice who he was with.

"I'm taking a walk." I smiled at Luna and Ginny.

"Have fun." They said together. I grinned and let Robin Hood take my hand. He led me out to the courtyard. We sat at the fountain in the middle of it.

…

"I want you to tell me about yourself." He whispered into my ear. I turned in his arms to him.

"What do you want to know?" I whispered back.

"Everything."

"I'm a pure blood." I traced patterns on his hand. "My parents recently divorced, my mum's rich and my father is an alcoholic. I am split between the two. I have two best girl friend and two guy friends."

"Just two each?"

"They're the only two I trust." He nodded in understanding. "My father became a dentist after the divorce, he sticks his hands in muggles mouths and fixes their teeth. It's gross, but he gets paid well. I live with him in London during the holidays and a month in the summer. My mom lives in the high end estates of Grimwauld place, she barely pays attention to me. Her and her best friend Cissy are trying to arrange a marriage between me and her son. His dad isn't in the picture, he's in Askaban."

"Do you know why?"

"He's a death eater." I whispered. "His son was forced into being one too… he doesn't think anyone knows, but I saw it on his arm. He was sold to that fate. It's depressing, but he let it happen."

"Do you think he could have changed it?"

"Honestly? Yes."

"How was he forced into it?"

"He doesn't even know why."

"Then how do you know?"

"His mother told me I needed to stick by him and ready ourselves as a couple."

"Do you want him?" I met his eyes once more.

"No, I don't think I do."

"Think?"

"I was told I would be with him… if you're told something enough you begin to believe it."

"Well… ask your heart, do you want to be with him?" I looked back at our hands, the spark shooting through us.

"No, right now I like being here." I looked up to gauge his response. He was grinning.

"Well, why was he sold?" he said returning to the discussion.

"His father was never good at his word…" he opened his mouth as if to ask another question but closed it. "He tried to be there for the dark lord… but he was more concerned about risking his family." I paused, looking back down at our intertwined hands. "He lost them anyways…" I fought loosing myself in my thoughts. "It's amazing what parents do when pushed to the edge." I whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"What they do." I didn't look up at him. "They abuse their children out of anger, they would die for them, it's just… it makes things complicated." I met his dark eyes. We just stared into each other's eyes. It was like fireworks between us. "How didn't I find you before?" I whispered. He smiled a small sad smile.

"You never bother to notice what was right in front of you." I let go of his hand, reaching up to trace his cheek with my fingertips. "Tell me a secret…" he whispered, eyes closed.

"I secretly hate this place. Everything about it…" his eyes snapped open, meeting mine. "The way everyone stares at me, it's sickening." I mesmerized his features. "Tell me a secret."

"I've been in love with you for the longest time." I smiled at him. That was the sweetest thing a man could say. "Your turn."

"Your scent…" he quirked an eyebrow, confused. "I've been looking for it ever since I smelled the love potion in Slughorn's class. Your scent is something that I desire." He smirked.

"I knew I made an impression somehow." I laughed. I leaned my forehead against his.

"Your turn."

"I have one thing I wish I could take back." I didn't ask, I knew he didn't want me too.

"Do you know who I am?" I whispered. He nodded.

"Hermione Granger."

"If I tell you my biggest secret… do you promise to keep it?" he nodded again, meeting my eyes. I bit my lip. "Someone I know… I let them abuse me. I was a rape victim." It felt like a weight being lifted. He watched me, he knew I was serious. "You're the only one I've told." I whispered. He watched me. I reached for his mask, but his hands stopped me.

"Not yet love." He whispered. His hand went to my cheek. "May I kiss you?" I nodded. We leaned into each other's touch. His lips grazed mine, stopping for a moment. I kissed him, the warm soft velvet of his mouth drawing me in. His hand went into my hair, holding me to him. He returned the kiss with passion. His tongue mingled with mine. I ran my arms behind his neck. I pulled away as I ran out of breath. I leaned my head against his, gasping down gulps of air. I met his eyes.

"I can't figure out who you are." I whispered distressed. He smiled, standing up. I stood with him. He kissed my lips one last time, leading us back into the dance. Everyone was still going at it. I saw Luna and Ginny sitting alone, when I turned to my mystery man he was gone. I plopped down next to them. "What the hell?"


	3. I hate them

**November:**

It was the last day before St. Andrew's break. I was still stress about my mystery man… as was two very annoyed roommates of mine. "I just can't believe it." Luna grumble as we sat down in potions.

"Me either." Ginny groaned.

"You?" I asked. It was my time of the month. "My outfit is hanging in my closet mocking me." I spat. "Sorry." They shrugged me off. "Who just kisses someone and leaves? That's not right."

"I know. The guy I was with was so sweet and charming. He even offered to help find a Nargle." I laughed.

"He sounds like the one Luna." I muttered, laying my hand in my arms.

"What are you doing when you go home?" I looked at Ginny.

"I'm out of places to pierce so another tattoo and hanging with Jason. How about you guys?"

"I thought you only want that one guy?"

"Jason and I are different. It's not sexual. He and his boyfriend wanted to try stuff over the summer and they taught me some new tricks." They both laughed, shaking their heads. "Jason helps me feel a rush."

"I'm hoping you mean drinking." Ginny joked. The quad entered, I was annoyed with them all.

"What are you guys talking about?" Harry asked as they sat down.

"Mione's break plans."

"Which are?" Blaise asked.

"Hopefully doing me." Harry joked. I punched his arm… hard. He fell off the stool. I laid my head in my hands again.

"Harry." Ginny chided. Us three were set on the men we met. "She's not interested." I peeked through my fingers at him. I pulled him by his shirt, smelling him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice smiling. I pushed him away.

"Yep, not interested." Luna laughed at my expression.

"Stop." I grumbled at them.

"What's gotten into her knickers?" Malfoy asked.

"She's depressed." Ginny supplied.

"Why?" I looked at Ron.

"You want to know why?" they didn't know about our Halloween night. "I found the perfect guy. I told him about me and he didn't discard me for me. He knew who I was. He snogged me… amazingly might I add and then he wouldn't let me know who he was and now I can't figure it out." I barked at him.

"Oh." He smirked. "Is the untamable tease finally whipped?" I growled at him.

"Shut it."

"Well, we can help… what were you dressed as?" he asked, trying to get on my good side.

"Wouldn't it be smarter for you to ask what he was dressed as?" I snarled. I felt the girls put a hand on my shoulder. "I apologize for my behavior." I muttered, putting my head in my hands.

"He's got her around his finger." Ginny explained. "She's even telling her mother that."

"Oh, don't remind me. My mum and her stupid friend." I spat. "Do you know what she has planned for me?" I asked.

"Good morning class." Slughorn entered. Everyone scattered to their lab partners. I was Malfoy's for the year. I didn't listen as he lectured on and on. "Granger isn't that correct?" my eyes snapped to the old crinkly ones of Sluggie.

"I'm sorry repeat the question." I apologized.

"Knotgrass is used in a lot of things." He repeated. I nodded. "Give us examples."

"You use Knotgrass in Polyjuice Potion and alcohol beverages. You can find it in the Forbidden Forrest."

"Thank you Ms. Granger." He went back to teaching. I stared at my open notebook. I thought back to his eyes… something was off about them. They were contacts, just like the ones I wear. So, his eyes weren't what they looked like and no other features were real… except his muscles. I frowned. What was I supposed to do? Ask every boy I run into to remove their shirt. That would be odd… he's not a boy. He thinks of himself as a man… oh boy, and he was. Haha, I made a funny. "Something funny Ms. Granger?" I looked at Slughorn.

"Why?"

"You were laughing." My face heated.

"Sorry, I was thinking and… never mind. I apologize." Okay, so I haven't gotten that much sleep the past month. I was worried about returning home. I mean, Jason did tell me to hit him up when I got home. I would definitely do that.

"Class is dismissed." I grabbed my designer bag and threw it over my shoulder. Ginny and Luna got in step with me.

"What were you laughing about?" I stopped down the hall a bit, the quad with us. Classes were finished for today, so I had a little free time.

"Well, the guy again."

"The boy you danced with?" Malfoy asked to clarify.

"Exactly." I laughed. "Well, I was trying to figure out who he was and I figured out that he was wearing colored contacts like I do and I didn't see any other distinct features other than his chest."

"What's so funny about that?" Luna looked so lost.

"Well, I thought I could just ask every boy I run into to take their shirt off, but that would be weird…" Ginny chuckled.

"I wouldn't mind seeing some people shirtless."

"Me either." Luna and I agreed.

"Anyways, I remembered something her said. I said that I wasn't interested in my mum's choice for me. About how much I hated the boys in this school…" I looked at the quad. "No offense. That they all stare at me like a piece of meat…"

"I still don't get it." I laughed.

"Luna, let me finish. Okay, he said that it was good I wasn't with a boy then. I was really confused about that. He thinks of himself as a man. Then I thought about it. Ending with the joke, he's not a boy… he's a man and oh boy is he." Luna and Ginny laughed.

"You really need sleep."

"Yes, I do. Stupid wanker has kept me up for the past month." I sighed, looking at the stone floor. "I will the next four days. Jason and his boyfriend will help me." I winked.

"Dear lord."

"They give me such a rush Ginny. You should feel the things they do to me. It's like heaven. I'm starting to love Muggles."

"Oh god… I don't want to hear anymore." Luna covered her ears.

"Okay, well after your day with your father and Jason will you floo to our house?" Ginny begged.

"Why?"

"Mum's been asking where you've been. After your first mark you sort of abandoned us."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll stop by Friday and spend the weekend with you if father allows it." I started walking again.

"We're going to head." I looked at Blaise and smiled.

"Okay, have a nice break guys." They turned and headed. I sighed. "Not even the Luscious Slytherin's appeal to me anymore. Curse him." I knew they weren't out of ear shot. "I used to like checking them all out… now I don't bother."

"I know what you mean. Blaise used to be looking amazing." Luna sighed. "I hate men."

"Yeah." Ginny agreed. "I miss being able to check Harry out and find him attractive." We all started walking.

"I hate men."

-X-X-X-

I was in Jason's room. He and his boyfriend sat across from me. "How do you feel?" I was slightly buzzed. I just cleaned up from father's mess and headed over here. They pumped the muggle drugs into me.

"More." I whispered. I felt nothing yet. Jason lit a joint for me, while his boyfriend Damien set a line out for me. I snorted the white powder up. One line in each nose. I smoked the joint. "I still want more."

"You can't risk over dosing."

"Just give me some crank. I'll pay for a thousand worth." He nodded and got it ready for me. "I want some heroin too. Thousand." Jason got that ready. I used it to numb the pain.

"When are you getting marked again?" Damien asked.

"Later today, I have three tiny one's going in." I was feeling the effects. "Can I have three cartons too?" I was their best buyer. They sold me a lot. I would stock up before leaving too. "Thanks." They put everything in my normal bag. I shot the last now shot of heroin into my vein. "I'll see you guys before I leave."

"Bye love. If you ever want fun…" Damien winked. "We're willing."

"Before I leave." I promised. I grabbed my supplies and headed back to my father's.

…

I flooed over to the Weasley's. "Hermione." I hugged Molly.

"Molly." I tried not to stutter my words. She hugged me tightly, my bruised ribs burning with pain. "How are you?"

"Good, good." She laughed. "Trying to keep up with the teens." I smiled genuinely at her. She frowned.

"Are you okay?" I nodded.

"I'm just tired. I have been studying none stop." She laughed.

"Such a bright young girl." She hugged me again. "Ginny will be back with Luna in an hour. You can go up with the boys. Draco and Blaise are already here." I smiled at her.

"Thank you." I had the biggest munchies. I walked up the millions of stairs to Ron's room. I stopped just outside, checking around me. I pulled the syringe from my bag, I pushed it into my vein, letting the drug work its magic. I should be okay now for the rest of today. I put it away and knocked on his door.

"What?" he screamed. I sighed and opened the door to the lounging nerds.

"Hey." He sat up straight.

"What are you doing here?"

"Ginny invited me git." I snapped. I shook with anger. "Your mum sent me up here to chill with you until Gin got back with Luna."

"Oh, fine. Take a seat." He nodded towards the window sill. I sat, staring out to the still warm day. "You aren't wearing many clothes."

"Are you incapable of not staring at me?" I asked rudely. The drug hadn't done its trick yet. I looked at his annoyed face. "I'm sorry. What were you guys up to?" I asked. I knew they were staring at the bandages on my bare skin. "They're new tattoos."

"Oh." I looked at Harry.

"What were you doing?" I looked at them all.

"We were just chilling."

"You should learn how to have fun." I noted, turning back to the window.

"What do you do for fun over breaks?"

"Tattoo or pierce something."

"What happens when you run out of space?"

"That's the great thing about being a witch, I have a spell that can remove whichever ones I don't want anymore." I looked at them.

"What else do you do?"

"I party… a lot. Muggles know how to party." Malfoy snorted.

"Muggles?" he challenged.

"Yes. You should see the things they taught me. We never knew it existed. It gives you such a rush." I grinned. "You wouldn't be able to handle it." I assured him. He scoffed. We spent the hour challenging each other.

"There you are." Ginny looked at me, at my eyes specifically. "What happened?"

"Jason and Damien, they got my blood pumping." She shivered. If only they understood. "So what will we be doing?"

"Are you staying the night?" I shook my head, her face fell.

"Mum wants me home and sober to go to a dinner party with her friend." I was disgusted at the thought.

"Hey, you get a whole day of me." Draco spoke up.

"No, I get a whole day of wedding plans I don't want." They all knew our mothers. "I want to marry who I love." I sighed. It was silent for moment. "Let's play a drinking game."

"Do you think being hung over will make your mother proud?"

"Better than when father accidently fed my some of his drugs… I was stoned for days." I was stoned now, but decided against adding that. "Come on. Let's play."

"I'm in. Never have I ever." She voted. "Drink if you have ever." She quickly described. She got a few bottles of fire whisky.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom quickly." I said standing up. I grabbed my bag, stumbling slightly. I walked into the bathroom, lining up a shot. I snorted it quickly, one for each nostril. I stuck the pill in my mouth and swallowed. I stumbled leaving the bathroom, catching myself on the frame. I took a few deep breaths and headed back to Ron's room. I sat down next to Ginny.

"Who wants to go first?" she asked. No one volunteered. I saw we all had shot glasses. "Fine, Never have I ever… slept with a girl." I grabbed the shot, eyes wide.

"Told you, Muggles know how to party." I shot the whisky back, ignoring the burn. We all took the scratch. It was Luna's turned.

"Never have I ever… slept with anyone." I looked at her a moment.

"Slept 'slept' or slept like shag."

"Shag." I took a shot as did all the boys and Ginny. Luna laughed at her win. It was Ron's turn.

"Never have I ever done drug's." I hesitated, I saw Ginny watching me. I took the shot.

"I'm about to stop going to muggle parties." I grumbled. They all laughed. "They're making me lose."

"Never have I ever… screwed a gay guy." I groaned again. I took a shot. I could hold my liquor. "Damn Hermione." I had four shots and the game was to twenty. Everyone else had zero to two.

"Hey, they taught me a lot." I defended myself. I was fighting the drugs. Blaise's turn.

"Never have I ever shagged anyone in public." Everyone watched me. I didn't reach for the shot.

"Did you Hermione?"

"It was the gay guys." I took the shot. "Okay, for sake of my wellbeing, just start marking them off." It was Draco's turn.

"Never have I ever…" he trailed off, thinking carefully. "Pierced a private area."

…

I had two left before the game was over. I had to make it. I was drunk, stoned, and beaten. Not a good combination. Ginny was about to go again but I stopped her. "This is unfair…" I slurred. "Four of you know me… that's cheating."

"You know us." Luna defended them.

"Yes, but I'm keeping your secrets safe." I mumbled. I laid back on the carpet, upside down.

"Fine, you can have the last two questions." Ginny said.

"I would still lose, what you've done I have." I slurred. I sighed. "Fine. I got it." I stood up, immediately falling back down. I grunted, I tried again and failed. Ginny was laughing at me. I just laid back on the floor. "Never have I ever had a dream about Harry." Ginny shut up, taking a shot. I smirked at her. She was down to one. Luna took a shot too. I looked at her in confusion.

"The Nargles ate him." I laughed.

"That's funny." I muttered. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the alcohol and drugs in me. "Can I ask more than two?" I asked, looking at Ginny.

"Yes." She embarrassed me more than enough in this game.

"Never have I ever thought about Blaise in any other way than a friend." I looked at Luna and Ginny. "Should I remind you that you talk in your sleep?" they cursed. They both took a shot. I laughed. "You guys' dreams are disgusting." I said before thinking of the next one. "Never have I ever…" I looked at the boys. What did I know about them? I tapped my chin. "Checked myself out for an ego boost." Luna took her last shot. I didn't take one.

"You're saying that you don't check yourself out?" Harry asked unbelieving.

"No." they cocked their heads to the side, asking why. "Nothing to check out." Ginny smacked my head. "No, too much alcohol. No hitting." I tried to keep a serious face. Something struck me. "Never have I ever… thought about Luna sexually." I saw four men take shots. "Never have I ever thought about Ginny sexually." Harry, Blaise and Draco took a shot. I frowned at the thought of Draco thinking about someone else sexually. I closed my eyes.

"Is it our turn?" I peeked at Blaise. I grunted a yes and turned on my tummy.

"Never have I ever been to a muggle party." I took my shot. He grinned.

"Never have I ever thought about Draco or any of us sexually." Harry said, gauging my reaction. I thought about it a moment. I've check them out… we all have. I thought about it.

"I can't remember…" I muttered, picking myself up off the floor slightly. I got on my knees. "I'm pretty sure I did somewhere along the lines." I tipped the shot back. "I'm not drinking anymore." I saw four smirks watching me. I slowly stood up, leaning against Blaise's head. I took a few deep breaths and took a step. I didn't make it. I ended up in Draco's lap. I met his greyish blue eyes. "Wow, look at your eyes." He chuckled, picking me up with him. "Let's play another game. One without alcohol."

"I think that would be best." I held on tighter as Draco tried to sit me up right. He chuckled.

"You smell pretty." I whispered. My eyes closing slightly.

"What do I smell like?"

"Whisky and sweat, but earthy." I murmured. Fred and George entered the room.

"Is she a light weight?"

"No, she took eighteen shots in like ten minutes." Ron laughed. I looked at them confused. "Why are you here?"

"Girls broke up with us." They entered, sitting in on the group. "So Hermione…" Fred started. I looked from the window to Fred. "How have you been?"

"Um…" I felt bile in my throat. "Oh god." I shoved Draco away, falling to my knees. I picked myself up and ran to the bathroom. I threw up the few things I have eaten. I felt someone pull my hair back as I dry heaved. I smelled Ginny's fruity smell. When I felt like I was finished I sat back on my heels. I looked at her gratefully. "Thanks."

"Are you sure you're okay?" I nodded.

"Can you get my toothbrush from my bag?" she left me to go do it.

"HERMIONE GRANGER." I heard her angry yell. I stood and stumbled back to the room. I saw her holding my shoot and the two lines. "What in bloody hell is this?"

"The blood rusher that Damien and Jason do to me… well for me." I joked. She glared at me.

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Only since I met Jason a week before school starts. He let me do it once and gave me that when I went to see him yesterday." I lied. I was still queasy. She held up the syringe. Everyone was staring at me. "That's medicine." I lied.

"Really?" Luna handed me a cup. I smelled it, it smelled like tea. I took a cautious sip. I cursed, it was Veritaserum. It was only enough for a few questions. "What is this?" she held up the syringe.

"Heroin." I cursed myself silently for trusting them.

"What else do you do?"

"Pot, Crank, Glass… anything to numb me."

"Why do you need to be numbed?" I felt the serum wearing off. I gnawed on the inside of my lip.

"I need to be numbed because I'm being forced into a marriage I don't want. I want to love the person. I figure if I can piss my mum off enough she will give up." That was the main reason at first. The serum had worn off. "I'm done with it. That's the last they gave me." I lied. I grabbed my bag and supply from her. I walked back to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth quickly. I felt their eyes on me. "What will make you return to normal fun bunch?"

"Flush it." Ginny stated simply. I was still drunk, well getting to hung over. I took a potion out first, downing it. I looked at my precious drug.

"I paid a lot for it." I mumbled. I sat by the toilet, letting them all watch. I dumped it, watching it dissolve. I pushed the remainder of the concoction in the syringe in the toilet, handing them the empties. I flushed, watching it go. I was still on a rush from the last almost over dose. I blinked away the blurriness. "Better? Now can we play something that doesn't involve drinking?" I begged, my lip pouting.

"How did you pay for it?" she asked.

"Dad paid for it." I lied, I stole the money. "Please, I won't see dad till New Year, so you can just watch me then. I promise I won't do anymore." I lied. I hated lying, but it became a part of my life.

"Fine." We all went back to Ron's room. We sat in a circle. I regretted making the mistake of letting her find it. "Let's play Truth or Dare." Ginny tried to lighten the mood.

"Okay." Luna looked excited. Everyone caught onto her mood. Fred and George were watching me consistently. "Ginny… truth or dare?" she looked at the still slightly upset red head.

"Truth."

"Who do you like?"

"Whoever was behind the 'Zoro' mask." I laughed at her. That was her mystery man. "He's just so… I can't even begin to describe him." She sighed happily. I laughed again. "Ron, truth or dare?"

"Dare." He sounded so confident.

"I dare you to tell Lavender you hate being called Won Won." I tried to withhold my snicker, no one else did. They laughed at Won Won. He rolled his eyes and took his turn. No one asked me, they tried to distance themselves in case I got upset.

"Hermione…" I looked at Draco. "Truth or Dare?" I bit my lip nervously.

"Erm…" I thought about which one could be more dangerous. Luna and Ginny were snickering at the obvious debate going on in my head. "I'm not the under the influence anymore…" I muttered. Draco continued smirking.

"Would you like me to choose?" I shook my head.

"Dare." I said, the bravery of a true Gryffindor surged through me. **Good job.** I looked around for the voice. I looked back at Draco, seeing he already said it. "Hmm?" Ginny snickered.

"I said I dare you to kiss me." I smirked to my own accord. I leaned forward, kissing his cheek.

"There." I leaned back. Harry laughed.

"She's been hanging out with Slytherin's too long." The others agreed. I let the game continue. _Do you really think he could help it?_ I was confused by the voices. I looked at Draco, studying his relaxed body. I saw his dark mark peeking out from under his shirt. I looked away hastily. I thought about that night once more. _'I've been in love with you for some time.'_ His deep voice whispered as he watched me, his eyes staring into my eyes. "Hermione, truth or dare?" I looked into his happy green ones.

"Dare." I still felt his fingers tickling my skin. I closed my eyes, relishing in the feel of it.

"Are you okay?" I opened my eyes again.

"Of course." I smiled tightly at them.

"You didn't hear me?" I shook my head.

"I'm sorry… can it wait until next time. I have to go… my dad wants to say goodbye before I go to mom's." I didn't wait for an answer. I stood and walked to the door. "Thanks for everything. Sorry about… everything. I've been messed up lately."

"We know." Ginny watched me.

"I'll see you later?" she nodded. I walked out the door. I walked down the many stairs, taking my time. I was already late, why bother rushing.

"Hermione." I looked at Draco as he rushed down the stairs.

"What? I have to g-" his lips crashed to mine. I froze for a moment before returning the fever. I pushed my fingers through his hair. He gripped my body to his. I let his tongue glide across my lower lip before granting him entrance. _What happened to Robin Hood?_ I pushed Draco away. "I have to go." I whispered, leaving him on the stairs. I didn't look back.

-X-X-X-

I slid the impossibly tight dress on over my curves. The fresh bruises and cuts burning as I zipped it up. It was black and ended under my butt. It showed off everything. I walked out in my black heels. "You look beautiful darling." She kissed my cheek. "Can't you remove some of that jewelry and cover those… things." She motioned to the large tattoo that ended mid-thigh.

"No." we stepped into the floo. It took seconds from it being my world to their world. We stepped into the large fancy mansion. I held my black leather purse close to my body.

"Hermione." Cissy squealed. She hugged my close. "How are you? It's been ages."

"I'm fine Mrs. Malfoy, how are you?"

"Better than normal now that you both are here." You could see the wear on her. She was getting restless. She hugged my mother. "Draco." He stepped forward in a black dress tee and trousers. He looked good. "Why don't you and Hermione go 'hang' while her mother and I talk?" He nodded, leading me away. "They're so cute together."

"I know. If only they weren't marked." I was too far away to hear anymore. He went to his room, closing it after me. I threw myself on his king bed.

"They're talking about us." I said into his pillow. It smelled really good.

"I know." I could hear the smirk in his voice. I turned over, lying on my back. "I like you on my bed… bet you would look better in it." I laughed.

"Nice try." He sat by my feet. "I hate that we don't get a choice in this." I pushed myself up on my elbows to look at him.

"You're saying you wouldn't want to marry me if we had a choice?" he was smirking, but his eyes held something.

"I wasn't minding the idea until the Halloween dance." I admitted. "You and I would make an amazing couple. We would be powerful in the Wizarding world." I shrugged. "There was only one thing holding me back."

"What was that?" I crawled over to him. I grabbed his left arm. I touched the Dark Mark there. "I don't want to be part of it."

"I know. I see it every time you look at it. It hurts you. I'm sorry that this happened." I looked into his eyes.

"I'm sorry too." He studied my face. "I'm sorry that I don't get my shot with you."

"You do though…" I whispered. "You have me for eternity when we say 'I do'."

"I still won't have you."

"What do you mean?" I cocked my head to the side.

"I'll have you physically, but you'll still want someone else. I won't ever be enough."

-X-X-X-

The weekend was over and we were now back at Hogwarts. It was breakfast and Dumbledore called our attention. "Welcome back everyone. I know you remember the Halloween dance, which will be the main point of my speech." He looked back towards a corner. "If we will all welcome our new teacher, better late than never, Wendell Granger, he will be our new Muggle studies professor." My face paled as my father stepped out to greet Dumbledore. "Now, continue with breakfast and you will get your revised schedules." I grabbed a muffin to go. I stormed out of the Great Hall. I hoped to get away fast enough.

"Hermione." I heard him getting closer. I picked up my speed. He ripped at my arm, turning me to him. "When I call your name, you stop." He hissed in my face.

"I hate you." I spat at him. He slapped me, the echo bouncing around us. I felt blood in my mouth. "Isn't abusing me in the Muggle world enough?" I looked behind us, making sure no one had followed. "Are you allowed to drink here?"

"No." he tried to defend himself.

"It'll be hard for you, you know. Since you're an alcoholic." I ripped my arm from his grip. "Be careful what you do. The paintings see all." I walked towards my first hour. "By the way, I won't show up to your classes."

…

"Hermione." Ginny sang, sitting by us. I picked my head up off the table. I had dyed my hair again. It was multicolored with feather extensions. "Your father is smoking." I laughed bitterly. "How is he so young?"

"Knocked my mother up the summer between sixth and seventh year." I looked down at my potions book. "That's how he's so youthful." I muttered.

"You don't like your dad working here?" Ron asked. I looked at them all.

"No." I said simply.

"Why? We have him after this."

"I'm not going."

"Why?" I looked at Harry.

"Honestly, I wish I had your life." I admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"I wish my parents were dead. They hate me and I hate them. I would like to be out on my own. They are in a battle with who gets me more… did you know that?" I was being spiteful.

"Really?" I nodded.

"My dad gets me alcohol, drugs, tattoos, piercings, and any clothes or money I want."

"I'm not liking your dad." Ginny said.

"Yeah, well I have a full stock bar at his house cause I don't do any of that. My mom got me an in with the richest and one of the most powerful families, that's where Draco comes in… she also gives me anything I want."

"Who's winning?" Draco asked.

"Neither. They don't get that I don't want them to buy me anything or get me anything."

"What do you want?" I looked into his bluish grey eyes.

"To be seventeen." I said honestly. "I don't want to have to be told what to do." I sighed. "I want shirtless Robin Hood." I put my head in my hands again, groaning.

"It's okay." Ginny assured.

"No it is not. You can't just snog someone and leave. It's not right." I sat up. "God, I really hope this class takes as long as possible."

…

I ignored everyone through the period. Ginny and Luna dragged me to my father's class. Everyone loved him. They don't know him though, they don't know what he does to me. What he did to my mother. "Hermione… would you like to voice your opinion in the matter?" I looked at my father.

"No." the class gasped. "I apologize, I wasn't paying attention. Repeat the question?" I asked politely, grinding my teeth.

"We were discussing entertainment in the Muggle world. You and Jason did some things and I asked for you to share." I sighed, suppressing rolling my eyes.

"We went to see a movie, it's were actors put on a show and it's played on a television."

"Thank you." He turned back to the board. "By the way Hermione, you have detention." My eyes widened.

"Dad." I stood up. "You can't do that. I'm a prefect, you can't tear the from me."

"Sit down Hermione." He warned.

"No, you can stuff your stupid chalk up your arse." I grabbed my bag heading for the door.

"If you don't sit back down I'll make it two detentions." I froze at the door.

"Can I say something else about people in the Muggle world?" he hesitated. I felt him trying to get into my mind, I threw the mental barrier up.

"Sure. Come on up. Enlighten us." He sat on his desk. I walked to the front, keeping my bag with me.

"Did you know that father abuse their daughters in the muggle world? It's sick. They're all twisted. They're also alcoholics and drug addicts." I turned to my father. "There." I walked to the door again. "I'll see you in detention."


	4. He's not going to wait forever

**December:**

I opened my eyes slowly. I looked around me. I was in the hospital wing. "Oh my dear." I looked at Madam Pomfrey.

"What happened?" I tried to remember. I was in detention last thing I remembered…

"You were attacked leaving detention." She set my bed up so I was sitting up, slightly reclined. "Some people have been waiting to see you." She smiled. She went to leave, but stopped. "Your injuries weren't able to recover with magic… funny thing huh?" she walked away. My father. He attacked me when I walked out. I felt anger boiling through me.

"Baby." I looked at my thirty some year old mother running towards me. "I was so worried." She hugged me. I screamed with pain. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine mum." I saw my friends behind her. My dad was standing by me.

"We've been so worried love." He acted so sweet. I looked away from them. Dumbledore sat down in the chair by my bed.

"Do you know who did this?" I looked away from him, scanning everyone. My dad's eyes said not to say anything. I looked back at him.

"No." I whispered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I can't remember. If I do I will tell you."

"Do you mind if I look in your mind?" I looked at his old kind eyes. He was waiting an answer. If I let him he would know everything.

"Yes, I mind." he nodded in understanding. It was silent. I looked at Madam Pomfrey. "When can I leave?"

"I'm not sure sweetie."

"Why not?"

"You've been asleep a long time."

"What? It's only the second day after break." They all went oddly quiet. "Tell me what's going on."

"You've been out for about a month. It's almost Christmas break." My eyes widened.

"No, I'm going to lose my prefect badge. I have to get out of here. I have to get caught up." My friends laughed. "This isn't funny." I pushed myself, hanging my legs over the side of the bed. "I have to get back. I'm fine." I promised, standing up. I didn't expect to have a cast on my leg. "How am I going to play Quidditch?" I held myself up. I grabbed the crutches. I hobbled forward. "See I'm fine." I saw myself in a night gown. Madam Pomfrey and I argued for an hour before she handed me my clothes. Everyone left. I slid on my clothes gently. I saw a card. I picked it up.

_ Hermione,_

_ You look so bad laying here in pain. I wish I could do something to help._

_ Robin Hood._

…

I hobbled to my father's class. He had a free period. "Hermione dear." I sat on the desk.

"Don't talk, just listen." I pulled my wand from my cast. "I swear to Merlin that if you ever hurt me like this again… I will kill you and I promise no one will find you. I'll keep your secret, just don't do it again. I've put up with it for five years… no more." I fingered my wand.

"You have nothing over me." he spat. I got up.

"Silencio." He went silent. "Crucio." His silent screams of torture. I withdrew the curse. "I have everything over you. You've abused and raped me for the last five years. I'm the only thing keeping you from Askaban." I whispered in his ear. I stood back up. "Remember that." I hobbled towards the door. "Finite."

"I'll get you for that." He promised as I left.

…

"Are you sure you're going to be alright for the holidays?" I looked at Ginny and grinned. I held up the second card I got from Robin Hood. I handed it to her to read. "Awe, that's beautiful." I nodded, biting my lip. Potions would be our last class before break. I was bouncing with excitement. "So what are your plans?"

"I am actually going home with Draco since our mothers are waiting for us."

"Oh." She winked, I grinned.

"Not like that, apparently it's really important."

"What's important?" Draco asked sitting next to me.

"Our mothers." He snorted.

"My mum's old… but yours…" he groaned. I slapped him.

"I agree, your mom gave you all your features." Harry agreed. Blaise snorted.

"Your mum's hot." I sighed.

"Wonderful, my someday husband is going after my MILF of a mother." They all looked at me confused. "It's a muggle term."

"Which means?" I wrote it down and passed it around. Their faces showed amusement. "Yeah, she's definitely a MILF." Draco grinned. I smacked the back of his head. "Ouch." I flicked him off.

"Let's just do this." Ginny handed me the note back. I tucked it in my book gently.

"What's that?" he asked looking at it. My face heated up.

"Nothing." I muttered. We were making Draught of Living Death, the reward would be two vials of Liquid Luck. I had a written in potion book, one that had every trick to succeeding. I stirred the mixture. "Will you come up with me to my room so I can change and then we can floo out of here?" I looked at Draco.

"Sure."

"Mum sent another dress. I don't know how I'm able to survive those." He chuckled.

"I like you in tight things." He purred in my ear. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sure everyone does."

"Are you going to your father's during the break?" I shook my head.

"I'm going to stop by his class room to tell him I'll be unable to make it." My voice tight. Our potion was finished. I called Slughorn over. He examined it.

"Good job Hermione, Draco. Here's your prize." He handed us our vials. "Clean up and you can go."

…

"Hermione?" I looked at my father.

"Mum wants me to spend the break with her."

"Jason will miss you."

"I'll stop by one day to talk to him, but that's it." I knew Draco was standing behind me. "Goodbye father." I walked out with the help of Draco. He helped me up to the room. I dropped my clothes in front of him, not caring. I grabbed the dress she had chosen. I slid it over my head. It was tight around the waist then poofed out. It was cream with ruffles around the collar, and then it was brown from mid waist to mid-thigh. Draco was lying on my bed. I grabbed my matching purse and looked at him expectantly. "Let's go." He stood up, grabbing my hand. We entered the fireplace and flooed over to Malfoy Manor.

"Hermione, what happened dear?" I hugged Cissy.

"I was attacked a month ago. I'm doing okay now though. Better than ever." I promised. She released me. I smiled at her.

"So, how are you and Draco." She wagged her eyebrows.

"We're getting along." I shrugged.

"You two aren't dating?" her face fell. I shook my head. "He didn't win you over at the Halloween dance…?"

"No, I didn't see him there."

"But he-"

"Shut it mother." Draco ground out. I looked at him.

"What did you go as?" he didn't answer.

"I'll show you." His mother offered. He stepped in front of her.

"No." I frowned.

"You shouldn't be so mean to your mum." I looked at my mother. "Are you two dating yet?" I shook my head. "Damn it." She cursed. "I thought you won her over at the Halloween dance…"

"No, I danced with someone I didn't know." I grumbled "Don't you two want to talk and let us leave."

"Fine, go." They shooed at us. We left and went to his room again. I laid back on his bed.

"What were they talking about Draco?" I looked over at him.

"I don't know." He lied.

"I can tell you're lying." I sat up. "Listen, my leg is throbbing and I'm confused. Tell me what's going on." He looked down at me for a moment.

"Are you sure you want to know?" I nodded. He went to his closet and returned with a box. He laid it by my hand. I gently touched it. "Open it." I opened it, it was filled with contact boxes. Colored ones. I swallowed. I stood up, hopping over to his closet. I saw the costume. I looked at him, confusion and disgust in my features. I walked over to him, ripping at his shirt. He took it off. I stared at his muscled chest. It was his. I laid my hand on his abs.

"You didn't tell me?" I demanded. "You heard me complain over and over and you never said something." I smacked him. "You should have said something." I had tears in my eyes. "I'm leaving." I limped out of his room.

"Stop." He called after me. "Hermione." I got to the fireplace. I grabbed some floo powder. "Please stop."

"What's going on?" our mothers entered. I glared at them.

"I told her the truth and now she's upset."

"I've complained months about you Draco. I haven't slept, I've went through more than anyone should have. I still had hope for you Draco. I prayed to figure out who you were." I had limped back over to him. I shoved him. "You left me. I told you one of my biggest secrets." He looked sad.

"Hermione." I held my hand up.

"No, just don't. I'm leaving." I grabbed my bag.

"Hermione." I looked at my mother.

"No, you knew." I grabbed more floo powder.

"Hermione." Draco turned me to him. I opened my mouth to yell, but his lips crashed to mine. I ran my hands into his hair, dropping the floo powder once more. His hands went to my hips. **He lied to you.** I stopped, pushing him away. I swallowed gulps of air. I hobbled into the fireplace, and flooing out of there. I stepped out into my father's house. I walked out the door and made my way towards Jason's. I didn't bother knocking.

"Jean." They looked up from each other. They were caught. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm taking you up on your offer." Jason rolled off of Damien.

"You sure?" they asked together.

"Positive." I took out the wizard contraceptive pill, it was a twenty four hour birth control pill. "I need you guys." They stood from the bed, walking over to me.

"Join the dark side Jean."

…

I relaxed in between them. They kissed my skin gently. We were just silent. "They're probably looking for me." I whispered.

"Probably." They weren't normal gay people, they were bisexual, meaning interested in both genders. "We like you stopping by though." Damien stood up and walked to their supply. "Are you getting any before you leave?" I nodded.

"I don't want to get up." I groaned. They both laughed. "Can you blame me? I have injuries." Jason stood up, them in their naked glory.

"How much do you want?"

"Three thousand each."

"That's everything we have now…" his mouth dropped.

"I know. I'll give you extra too if you want." I pull out the twenty grand. I handed them ten of it. Their eyes wide. "I know what I want." They nodded and began packing it in my bag. I relaxed into their bed. "I have been in this bed so much I actually love it." They laughed at me. "I should get going. I'll see you in a few days if you want." I pushed myself up. I grabbed my dress, pulling it over my body.

"Where did you come from?"

"Dinner with my mum." I zipped it up, hissing with pain. "I got angry and walked out." They both laughed, slipping on their jeans. They handed me my bag back.

"That's very mature." Damien assured. I grinned, putting the bag on my shoulder. "You will stop by again."

"I will." I kissed his lips. "Goodbye Damien." I walked over to Jason, kissing his lips. "Goodbye Jason, thanks for the fun."

"No problem baby girl." I winked at them. I sat down for a moment.

"I want to load up before returning to her."

"Won't she be able to tell?" Jason was worried. I shrugged.

"She won't care." I laid out two lines, getting the shoot out. I snorted it up. I felt the buzz immediately take place, I stuck the needle into my vein. I pushed it down.

"You're becoming a natural." Damien noted.

"I know, I stop during the week though… so I want to get it in now." I stood up again and headed for the door. "I'll see you in a few days."

…

I stood outside in the pouring rain. I was in the almost empty Hogwarts. I sat at the fountain in muggle clothes. I wanted to cry, it was almost Christmas. I was spending it with my mom… at Malfoy manor. I stood from the rain and snow. I walked towards my dorm. I would have to change clothes before heading over there. I looked through my dresser, looking for something not so showy. I pulled on my skinny jeans, finally able to have it fit. Madam Pomfrey took off my cast earlier today and I was jumping with joy. I slid on my black leather heel boots. I put on a tight red V-neck long sleeved shirt. I wrapped a scarf around my neck, putting in and on my jewelry. I put on my black dress coat, buttoning the buttons. I strapped my purse over my shoulder and grabbed my crutches. I flooed to Malfoy Manor. I stepped into their living room, seeing everyone pacing.

"Hermione Jean Granger, where have you been?" I crutched over to the couch, sitting down.

"I've been with Jason and Damien… why?" I slid my purse off my shoulder.

"Well, you were supposed to be here with me." my mother screamed.

"Even when I was with you mother, I wasn't really there was I?" I demanded. "For years you've been distant, you've just challenged dad, you haven't really cared." I ended yelling. "If you did you wouldn't have let me cry myself to sleep all those nights. When I came home with a new mark or something you would have cared. You didn't mum. You didn't." I had tears in my eyes.

"I… I didn't know you felt that way." She looked sad.

"You didn't bother to know. I've just been the meat on your arm. I'm tired of that mum." I wiped my tears away. "Boys do the same thing, just staring at me as a prize."

"Well, the way you dress…"

"Everything I dress in is from you mum." I sniffled. "You're selling me into a marriage I don't want." I looked at Cissy. "No offense." She nodded. "I want to love the man I marry. Not just to have the money, the parties, the status, or anything like that. If I wanted that I wouldn't care about marrying Draco. I do though, I really care."

"Draco's not that bad." Cissy tried to convince me.

"That's not why I mind… you all know why I mind marrying him. He was sold to _him_. He's a death eater. I don't want that." I pointed to myself. I pushed myself up, standing. "Listen, I only came back to spend Christmas with someone." I whispered. "Please, I don't want to fight." I insisted.

"I'm sorry sweetie." My mom hugged me.

"It's okay." I hugged her back. "What are the plans for the next few days?"

"Cissy invited us to stay with her and Draco." I looked at him. "We'll spend Christmas here and then New Year's." I nodded. "You and Draco should talk." Cissy and my mum left. I unbuttoned my coat, shrugging it from my shoulders. Draco took my bag and coat, laying it on an empty chair. I put my crutches under my arms.

"I agree, we should talk." I whispered. I walked to the balcony. He followed me. I leaned against the rail. "You didn't tell me." I accused.

"I know."

"Does Ginny and Luna know it was Blaise and Harry yet?"

"No."

"If you think me being upset is bad, wait until they find out." He chuckled. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you figure it out?" he smiled at me.

"I didn't see what was right in front of me." he chuckled dryly. "I am really mad at you." I looked out into the sky.

"I know." He stepped behind me. His hand touched my arm. "Don't you feel it?" he whispered in my ear. I shivered with delight. "Do you feel this electricity between us?" **He lied. He doesn't actually want you, if he did he would have told you.** I agreed with the voice in my head.

"No." I lied. I knew it sounded so real. "I don't feel anything."

-X-X-X-

We spent New Year's at the Weasley's. Cissy and mum were with Molly. I already loaded up with drugs before coming here, leaving it at home. I was with all of them; Ginny, Luna, Harry, Ron, Blaise, Draco, Fred, and George. It was a full party. We were doing truth or dare again. It was Fred's turn. "Fred, truth or dare?" I watched as Ginny eyed me. I was wishing I wore more clothes. I only had on shorts and a tank that didn't cover much.

"Dare." Ginny grinned.

"I dare you to take a shot off of Hermione." I hung my head low.

"You know, last time you gave me alcohol…" Ginny laughed. "It didn't end well."

"Just go." I sighed, leaning back slightly and put up my hair while George stuck the shot glass in between my breasts. I let them put some lime on my neck and salt it. I then put the lime in my mouth and let Fred ready himself. "Okay Fred." I watched as he brought his mouth to my neck, sucking the salt off, his tongue swirling on my neck. I shivered as he went to the shot glass. He shot it back. He kissed my lips, taking the lime out and bit into it.

"Whoo!" I grinned at Harry. "I want next." I glared at him.

"I'm not letting anyone else near my breasts." The male population pouted. I threw my head back and laughed. "Go Fred, it's your turn."

"Harry, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Take a shot off Hermione." I frowned.

"I thought I said no more boobies…" Ginny laughed at my word usage. "Fine, let's get this over with." They set me back up. Harry licked my neck, shot the shot glass back and kissed my lips. He didn't stop though. I wanted to push him away, really I did. I kissed him back. I heard someone clear their throat. I pushed Harry away. "You taste like whisky." I muttered, licking my lips. "No more." I whispered. I leaned back.

"Let's play a different game." Ginny said, sort of upset. "How about seven minutes in heaven?" an evil glint in her eye. Everyone agreed to it. Ginny left to get a bottle, I was silently praying not to get called on. "Okay, got it." She sat down, spinning the bottle. I watched with dread as it slowed down. I silently cursed as it landed on Draco. "We have our first victim." He laughed evilly. I smirked at her.

"How do you choose the second person?" George asked.

"Same way." She spun it again. I watched it spin around and around. It's like I was lost in space. "Hermione." I looked at Ginny.

"Hmm?" I knew I sounded stoned.

"Look at the bottle." I did. It was pointed at Ginny. I knew this game.

"Luna, I see it." They were expecting a reaction. "What about it?"

"Just getting your attention." She shrugged me off. I nodded. Ginny and Draco stood, looking at me once more before heading to the closet. I felt my bones crunching. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, your hands are fisted." I looked down, loosening my grip.

"I'm fine." I assured. We waited silently. I thought Ginny liked her mystery man. That pissed me off. She cares about him not Draco. As they exited it made sense. I stood from the game. They all looked at me curiously. "I get it now Ginny." Her eyes widened.

"You get what exactly." She challenged. I smirked, silently chanting the bottle. I spun the bottle. I watched as it landed on Harry. I spun it again, making it land on me. I stood, him with me. I pulled him towards the closet. I cast a glance behind me, seeing anger on Ginny's face and Draco's. I pulled Harry into the closet.

"You're the masked demon." His eyes widened. "You like Ginny, but never told her."

"How did you figure it out?"

"Draco finally showed me it was him."

"So, you're in here to piss them off." I nodded. "We already did that." I smirked.  
"Do you actually want to kiss me?"

"Honestly, yes." I pulled him closer.

"Be rough, make noise. I want them to be pissed." He grabbed my waist, pulling me hard against him. He lifted me up, my legs wrapped around his waist. He threw us against the door. I moaned. I attached my lips to his. It was a battle. I rubbed against him, he groaned harshly. He ripped his lips from mine, kissing my neck.

"You're such a tease." He said bitterly. I moaned as he kissed my breasts.

"Bite me." I whispered. He kissed back up to my neck, biting down on my shoulder. I moaned loudly. "God…" I murmured as he broken skin.

"You like it rough." He chuckled, sucking on his bite. I moaned again. I pulled his face back to mine, ripping his shirt open. I let him grind against me, my breathing coming in short puffs. I bit into his shoulder, suppressing a groan. "Baby, if only I had longer time." I bit harder as he ground against me as hard as he could. He pulled my shirt over my head. I sucked on the bite I left.

"That should piss them off." I murmured as his tongue caressed mine. I kissed back with fever. His hands skimmed my body. The door opened and we landed with a thud, not breaking off. Harry gripped onto me harshly. My nails clawed his back. He was finally yanked off of me. I lay on my back, swallowing air as fast as I could. I looked to see him doing the same.

"God, Fred and George are right." I grinned at him. I looked down at my body.

"Where's my shirt?" he chuckled. I stood up, walking back in the closet. I found it amongst Ron's shoes. I slid it on over my body. "Found it." I looked down at him. Ginny looked ready to kill me. I felt bad instantly. "Hormones?" I offered. She blew out an angry breath. I walked past Harry who was now staring at his torn button up shirt.

"Come on Luna, Hermione… we're leaving." Ginny and us walked out.

"Ginny…" I began before we were even out the door.

"If you even apologize I will kill you."

"Fine, I won't apologize." She threw the door open. "He's well endowed." I offered instead. She turned to me.

"What?" I laughed. She grabbed my hair, looking at my eyes. "You're on something again." I shook my head. It should have died down some.

"No, I'm just in a good mood." She narrowed her eyes.

"Why would that be?"

"Well, Damien and Jason helped me loosen up a bit." I smiled at her, a nervous smile.

"You…" she sighed. "I want to talk to you." She left Luna behind. She took me down to the bottom floor. The adults were out back partying. "You want to explain the hex?"

"It wasn't a hex, just a charm."

"Did you want to kiss him?"

"Well, after the shot… yes, but not enough to hurt you."

"You're jealous."

"Pft." I flung my hair over my shoulder. "Why would I be jealous?"

"Because I snogged Daco, he's really good by the way."

"I wouldn't care about that, you can snog him all you want." I looked away from her knowing gaze.

"You are really throwing people loops." I cocked my head to the side. "You drink and are a druggie, you're hot and cold with people. Fred and George fought with me for days about you. No one's stupid Hermione, they all know you aren't stable."

"I am stable." I promised.

"No you aren't. You haven't been since you fled from Draco's for three days." I winced at the memory. "What happened to you?"

"Jason happened."

"I want to know everything from the incidents with Jason." I sighed.

"I… Jason and I ran into each other after this party when I was at my dad's. He took me back to his apartment, he roofied me." she looked confused. "Roofies are a drug that confuse you, keeps you weak. I slept with him. I had a lot of fun. I spent night there then with Jason, he showed me new drugs and new ways to make your body numb, after a month with him I met his boyfriend, they showed me a whole new world. I was constantly drunk and high off the drugs, I couldn't think straight." I sat down on the stairs. "I loved every second of it. I didn't have to think about anyone else but me. I didn't think about Hogwarts, about my mum or family at all, you guys, and I didn't have to think about the dark lord waiting for Harry." I swallowed. "I was free, thrown into different ecstasies over and over again. It made me feel… alive." I closed my eyes. "I never left that ecstasy. When I wasn't home I was being thrown over and over into it, loving every second of it."

"Did you leave that life?"

"No. After Draco… I ran, terrified. They made me feel something again, in a twisted way. I rode them out for days. I'm stopping by there after midnight, they're expecting me." I admitted.

"What about Draco?" she asked almost sad.

"I'm not his until he slides the ring on my finger." I shrugged.

"Don't you like him?"

"I don't know what I feel exactly… right now because of Harry, a little horny." She grinded her teeth together at my comment. "You know…" I leaned closer to her ear. "I don't like Harry in any way… but I like his organ. Make him yours Ginny." She looked at me. "I don't want to do something I'll regret."

"Then don't."

"I don't have power over my actions anymore."

…

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two… one." I looked at Draco, daring him. "Happy New Year." Every started kissing each other, wishing them a happy new year. I watched with amusement. Draco stood before me.

"I heard what you said on the stairs with Ginny." He admitted.

"It's rude to listen in on private conversations." He shrugged.

"Don't go to them." He blurted. "Stay with me." I hesitated. "Stay here, be with me." his hand went to my hip. "Please." I looked at his left arm. I touched it gently.

"Draco…" everyone was celebrating around us. "No." I saw the hurt in his eyes. "I can't. I need to get from my supplier."

"You really don't like me do you?" he sounded so broken, my heart twisted.

"Draco…" I murmured. He pulled me to him. His body, his everything was up against me.

"Look in my eyes and tell me you don't care for me." I looked away from him for a moment, gathering my strength. I looked back up at him. I put my hand to his cheek. I kissed his lips gently.

"I'm sorry, but it's not that I don't care for you… it's that I can't." I whispered against his lips. "I'm not worthy of your love. You and I are from separate worlds, I'm from the abusive side and you're from the rich entitled side." I sighed. "I'm sorry." I pulled away from him. I saw the pain and hurt in his eyes. I walked away from him.

"No." I barely got two steps before he turned me back to him. "You can't walk away from me again."

"You showed me how." I spat. Everyone was watching now. "Don't you get it?" I looked at Hermione and Luna who stood by Blaise and Harry. I walked over to them, turning them to them. "Luna meet your mystery man, Ginny same to you. They've let us complain and complain about them and sat by and did nothing." Their faces turned murderous. "Yeah, they've lied to us."

"Is this true?" Ginny asked, looking at Harry. Luna did the same. The guys heads fell.

"They deceived us." They were on my side about this. "You want me to stay and to forget about it Draco, but I can't. You should have told me."

"You should have figured it out."

"How was I supposed to do that?" I demanded. "I only knew what your chest looked like and what you smelled like."

"The smell should have been enough." He walked to right in front of me. "I feel it Hermione, you care for me."

"No I don't." I insisted.

"Yes you do, it's in your eyes every time you think of me, are near me…" he reached for me, but I stepped away. "You know you'll be mine."

"No Draco. No one can tame me, I'm free." I turned away from him. "I have to go, they're all waiting for me." I walked out of the living area, away from them. I felt him following after me.

"What do I have to do to prove to you that I care?" I grabbed some floo powder. I entered the fireplace.

"I guess you'll figure it out." I watched him one last moment.

"I'll get you Hermione." I flooed to my father's. He was sitting in his chair. He looked at me in shock.

"I thought you weren't coming home." He stood up.

"I'm just going to see Jason."

"Really?" I nodded. "I think I could entertain you here." I smelled the drugs and alcohol on him. "Come on baby." He reached for me. I ripped away from him. He looked angry, I was scared. My blood ran cols. "Silencio." I shook my head as my voice left. "Crucio." I felt the tears coming to my eyes as the painful ache moved through my veins. I screeched, it was silent coming out. My body felt like it was being used as a bludger from Quidditch, that it was on fire, and the pain was unbearable. I cried as he continued the torture. My muscles were numb the longer he did it. "Now, you don't disrespect me, ever again. Understood?" I nodded. "Now, let me finish with you." I knew he wasn't letting the silence charm up anytime soon. I cried as he ripped my clothes off, as he started to undress himself.

"Please." I silently begged, hoping he would. I cried as he abused me sexually. I now understood my sex craving. I wanted the other sex to make me forget this. I like the abuse because I'm abused. He finished up quickly, ignoring my tears. I sobbed as he began the physical abuse. He hit me over and over again, I had to spit the blood out. "Please stop it." I silently cried.

"Shut up." He kicked my bare stomach. "Stupid little slut. Clean yourself up. Jason and Damien will come looking for you soon." He zippered his zipper. I forced myself to my room. I cleaned myself up quickly. I had four hours. I put on a short jean mini skirt and a pink silk top and scarf. I put on my heels. I buttoned my jacket and walked back to the living room. "Finite."

"Thank you." I whispered.

"Come back here when you're done." He spat. I nodded and left. I felt more pain than I should have. I rushed to Damien's and Jason's. I didn't knock, just entered.

"Jean." They smiled at me.

"Hey, sorry for being late.' I sniffled.

"It's fine. Was it your dad again?" they knew my father was abusive. I nodded. They took me into their arms, handing me a double of my extra. As soon as it entered my system I felt better.

…

It was time for me to return to Hogwarts. I looked at my father in disgust. "Goodbye, see you in class."

"Is that disrespect?" he raised his eyebrows at me.

"Yes." I spat.

"Silencio." My body was numb, all my muscles ached. "Defodio." My stomach split open. I screamed silently. "Defodio." My arm split open again. I broke in tears. I silently begged. "Defodio." My ribs burned immediately. "Finite." I sobbed painfully. "Goodbye." He flooed away. I stood up, hexing the cuts to stop bleeding. I buttoned up my dress coat. I got into the fireplace, flooing to my room. I saw Ginny and Luna with Blaise and Harry on their beds, just talking.

"Oh, hello." I grunted.

"Hey…" they assessed me.

"I… uh…" I just grabbed the red bag from my dresser and went towards the bathroom.

"Can we talk…?" I looked at Ginny.

"Now?" I had cut my hair so it hung in my face. He didn't let me heal those.

"Yes."

"Sorry, can't." I entered the bathroom, quickly locking it. "Silencio." I cast it on myself. I took my coat off and shredded shirt. I grabbed the alcohol from my emergency bag. I poured it over the gauges in my skin. It burned immensely. I grabbed a needle and thread. I got started on the three gouges. I screamed silently while the tears ran down my face. I sobbed as I tied each knot. I poured alcohol over the gauges again. I took silent shaky breaths, trying to calm my tears. I wrapped the gauze tight around my middle and arm. I un-silenced myself and cast charms to clean up the blood, when I finished I put on my now clean shirt. It was long sleeved and V cut. My breast large and almost over flowing, I wrapped the scarf around my neck and exited the bathroom. I knew my eyes were puffy.

"You were in there a long time." Ginny noticed.

"Had to… do stuff." I knew it was un-descriptive. I looked through my straightened hair at them.

"Are you going to tell us what you were doing in there?" She asked.

"No." I set my bag down. "Are we going to head down to the welcome back feast?"

"Not until you tell us what happened when you went home." Luna joined in.

"I don't have to tell you anything… I'm only wearing my cloak down there, I don't feel like changing." I shook my head forward, making my hair cover most of my face. I couldn't move. "You did not do that." I warned.

"We did." Ginny moved the hair from my face. She gasped. I knew she saw the giant black eye on my face and split lip. "What happened?"

"I like it rough, isn't that right Harry?" I purred to him. His face heated up. "It was just hard ball with Damien and Jason." I assured, lying my ass off.

"Wow." She sounded disgusted. "Finite." I moved. "You really hate Draco that much don't you?" I winced at her tone, at her false accusation.

"I don't hate him."

"Are you playing him?" Blaise asked.

"No." there was a tap on the window. I opened it to a black owl. "What the hell?" it held a two presents. I took them form the owl. It flew away. "Whose bird was that?" they shrugged their indifference. I sat on my bed, opening the gifts gently. It was two necklaces. One with a part moon and star, the other a tiny vial with a liquid in it… the vial had a tiny heart on it. I stared at them a moment. "They're beautiful." Draco had sent them. I put them around my neck. "How can he still care?" I asked in complete shock.

"He's in love." I looked at Luna. She looked slightly disgusted with me. "You have to tell him whatever you're hiding from him Hermione." She was intelligent. "The way you two look at each other… it's something everyone wishes for."

"What's that?"

"True love." I touched the new pendants. "You have to tell him Hermione, you don't want to wait too long. He won't wait forever."

-X-X-X-

**Hey guys, I rewrote the story. This is it. **


	5. The truth and a dance

**February:**

I haven't spoken to anyone in five weeks. They were all waiting for me to talk to them. I had it decided though. I knew what I wanted. I thought about it through the study sessions, the prefects meetings, the Quidditch practices, and every other spare moment. I walked to the library as quickly as I could. They were all hanging out in there today. They were in the back tables. I still had my Quidditch gear on, sweat coated my body. I opened the door, marching towards the back. Everyone greeted me as I passed, I was polite and said hi back. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw them all back there laughing. When I got closer I saw Pansy with them. My heart fell.

"Hermione?" Ginny sounded shocked. I looked specifically at Pansy.

"Leave." I barked. She stood up, hands on her hips. "Leave."

"I don't have to listen to you." I grabbed her throat harshly.

"Silencio." She started silently screaming. "If I tell you something, you do it." She nodded, her eye filled with tears of anger. I pulled her close. "Touch Draco again and I will make you wish you were never born." Her eyes widened with fear at my tone. "Finite." I said pushing her away.

"You can't just threaten me like that."

"I said leave." Her eyes showed her fear. "I can take your status away."

"You wouldn't."

"I'll say it one last time. Leave." She scurried away.

"A little forceful aren't you?" Blaise smirked at me.

"All of you leave." My tone said not to mess with me. They all stood and left, leaving Draco and I. I knew they were listening in on us. "That night you asked me to stay…" I began.

"I don't want to think about it." He said softly.

"Please, just listen to me." he nodded. "When you asked me to stay, everything in me told me to… I didn't listen to it because I was… well… drugs were pumped through my system. I left you and I regretted it."

"What's the point of this? You kicked Pansy out." He sounded annoyed.

"You know one of the only two secrets I keep. I think I should tell you the real reason I left." I stood up and began removing my top pads. I removed my shirt then. The gauze had lines of blood.

"What…?" he trail off. I unwrapped the gauze and bit my lip.

"I'm not only sexually abused Draco… I'm physically abused too." He stared the sewn cuts.

"Who does it?"

"My father." His eyes snapped to mine. "He doesn't rape me much anymore, now he just beats me until I bleed." I took in a shaky breath. "I left you because… I realized something. I like to sleep around because I'm sexually abused. I like it rough, when you bite into each other's skin during release and being shoved to your knees… I like it because I'm physically abused and raped."

"You can change that."

"I didn't think I could until I returned to Hogwarts hiding my face." I pushed my hair back, showing the yellowing bruise. "Luna said something to me that I've been fighting with myself over."

"Hermione… you still left." I hung my head.

"I know." I sniffled. I grabbed my gauze, wrapping it around me middle. "Luna told me that I had to tell you whatever I was keeping from you. I'm an alcoholic and drug addict and I'm in love with a death eater." I looked him straight in the eye. "I just threatened his slutty excuse for a girlfriend that if she touched him again I would make her regret her birth." I took in a deep breath. "For the past few years I haven't been able to really see him as who he is now. I don't think he knows how I see him." He stood up, looking down at me.

"How do you see him?" he whispered.

"He's the only one I truly see in my world. He's more important to me than anyone… but I left him the night I should have stayed. I messed with his best friend and hurt him." I bit my lip.

"Who is he?" he asked shakily, taking a step towards me.

"He's you." I whispered, watching him. He took another step closer to me. "I am in love with you Draco. I have been since we met… it just took me ten years to realize it." He grinned. "I'm really, really sorry I left you."

"Just tell me one thing… did you sleep with Jason and Damien that night?" I laughed.

"No, I turned up at their place bleeding and they cleaned me up. They knew about my dad doing this to me… they gave me more supplies and then helped me shoot up."

"Are you high now?" I smirked.

"No." I watched as he assessed me. "Okay, maybe just a bit. I'm working on quitting though." I promised. He was silent. "Did I wait too long?" I bit my lip in worry. He was silent to long. I knew my answer. I put on my Quidditch clothing quickly. "I'm… bye." I had tears in my eyes. I told him the only two secrets I kept. I turned to walk away.

"Hermione?" I stopped, wiping away a few tears. I turned back to him. "I would wait forever for you." It was like in the movies. He walked up to me, his lips crashing to mine. I replied with hunger. He groped me closer to him. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue swiped my lower lip. I gasped as he went to my neck, lifting me into his arms.

"You know what I just realized?" I gasped out. He grunted a reply. "That you were there when I called you the best snog and a man." He chuckled against my skin. I drew his lips back to mine. I smiled as I kissed him happily. "Mm, the librarian." I murmured against his lips. I felt his manly area against my womanly part. He let me slide down to stand on my own. "Should you tell Pansy or should I?" he laughed.

"She's not my girlfriend. She's been trying to get me to ask her out for the past six years." I blushed.

"Well, I'm pretty sure she will be trying even harder now." he chuckled. "I love you." I whispered. "I love saying it and meaning it."

"I love hearing you say it." He kissed my lips gently. "I love you." I leaned my forehead against his.

"I don't want to rush things Draco." I met his darker eyes.

"Me either."

-X-X-X-

It was a few days until the Valentine's dance. I was waiting for him to ask me, bouncing in my seat next to Luna and Ginny. "Will you calm down?" I looked at Ginny, she was smirking. I glared harshly.

"Did Harry ask you to the dance?" she nodded. I looked at Luna. "Blaise?" she grinned and nodded. "Damn it." I swirled my tea around. "I'm not really hungry." I stood up.

"Take something to eat." Luna insisted. I grabbed a roll. "Thank you." My face had healed so I had my long bangs back in pins.

"Where ya' going Granger?" Blaise asked as he took his spot next to Luna. Harry sat next to Ginny.

"I'll figure it out when I get there." I looked around for Draco.

"He's not here." Harry said smirking. I stuck my tongue out at him. "Hey, just saying." I fingered the vial, it was love potion. I always smell him now.

"Well… where is he…?" I asked. They all chuckled at me.

"He's on his way down. He woke up late." I grinned knowing that was my fault. "Do you know why that happened?" I bit my lip.

"I might." I jumped as arms wrapped around my waist.

"Granger." He whispered in my ear. I relaxed into his arms. "You done eating?"

"Yeah." I turned in his arms. "Pansy's glaring at me." he chuckled. I kissed his lips lightly. I hugged him, looking at where the teachers sat. I saw my dad glaring at Malfoy. I gulped. I pulled away, a tight smile on my face. "I love you." I kissed his lips quickly and grabbed my back. "See you guys in Potions." Draco stopped me.

"What's wrong?" I looked past his shoulder again to my father's knowing eyes. I looked back at Draco.

"Nothing." I lied. He sighed, anger filling it. "You should believe me when I tell you something."

"I know you're lying." His eyes were cold.

"It's nothing." I reassured him. I went to kiss him, but he turned his head. I kissed his cheek. "Bye." I turned and walked away. I saw Pansy smirk at me. I stormed out. I knew he was right, I should have just told him, but the others didn't know what he did.

**DPOV:**

"I can't believe she just lied to me." I sat down where she was.

"Dude, you just pissed your witch off." Harry laughed.

"She lied to me, how am I supposed to trust her if I know she's lying?" I defended myself.

"Draco…" I looked at Ginny. "She looked at her dad and that's when she turned cold." My body froze. I forgot how much she hated him. "She may also be upset because you haven't asked her to the dance yet." she suggested.

"Yes I did."

"No, she was bouncing up and down in her seat." I cocked my head to the side. "She was waiting for you, she's been waiting for the past week."

"I sent her an owl with a bracelet and note."

"She never got an owl…" Luna said. I looked to where her father sat smirking.

"I have to go find her."

"Wait, what are we missing?"

"She'll tell you when she's ready."

**HPOV:**

I sat at my desk in Potions. Cursing under my breath. I touched the little potions vial around my neck. I sighed. Why couldn't I have just told him? **He didn't invite you to the dance.** I love him. **Apparently he doesn't love you.** Yes he does, he just hasn't asked me yet. **Are you sure about that? I mean, come on… it's been a week.** So? _Don't listen to it Hermione. He will ask you._ I had an inner conflict that involved two voices and myself. Maybe I've been on drugs to long. "Hermione?" I looked towards the voice that snapped me out of my inner rambling.

"Hello." I said slightly cold to Draco.

"Was it your father?" I looked at him and nodded. "You could have told me that."

"I planned to." I looked down at my hands in my lap. "Why haven't you asked me to the dance?" I couldn't take it anymore.

"I did. I think that someone intercepted my invite."

"How could someone intercept it?"

"It was a bracelet with a note asking you."

"You don't have to give me gifts."

"I like it though." I smiled a small smile. "Is my witch still mad?" I looked at him, raising my eyebrow.

"No." I said finally. He picked me up out of my seat. I squealed. He kissed me, holding my hips firmly. I kissed him back with passion. Our tongues fighting for control. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding myself closer. "Draco…" I said around his lips.

"Hmm?"

"You still haven't asked me." I pulled away. He smirked down at me.

"Worried little witch?"

"Maybe…" he grinned.

"Hermione, will you go to the Valentine's ball with me?" I grinned back at him.

"Yes." I kissed him greedily. He chuckled, answering my greed.

"Ehem." We pulled away to see the rest of the quad and their girls. I blushed like a little girl caught stealing a cookie. I looked at Ginny and Luna, grinning. Lavender looked at us in question.

"Finally." Ginny squealed jumping up and down. "Tomorrow's Saturday so we can go look for dresses." I grinned.

"If you should know anything about me… it's my mother has a house filled with handmade clothing. We can just floo to my house." They smiled widely. "So Blaise, I've heard you distracted Luna from Nargle hunting." He grinned as Luna blushed.

"I have."

"Hermione, your team is looking bad." Nott said, entering the class room.

"Shut it. My team's better than yours ever will be."

"Harsh." I looked at Draco.

"Sorry, I'm tough… you're not." He chuckled.

"We'll see." Nott said. "Ready for the game tomorrow."

"Yes." I looked him over with disgust. "We have the best members, we'll win in seconds."

"You wish."

"I don't need to wish, I get what I want. And I want your team crying from the loss."

"Hey, I'm stepping in now. Nott, back down. Leave it to the field." I looked at my boyfriend. "You bad talk us Slytherins way too much."

"What can I say? You have Nott on your team." He glared at me evilly. I flicked him off.

"Love, calm down." Draco laughed. "I'm captain of the team and I'm confident it'll be an equal match." I threw my head back, mockingly laugh.

"You haven't even seen my team go hard on anyone yet. We're the best." I assured. He shook his head. "This may be the end of us." I noted, his eyes went wide.

"What?"

"Yep, Quidditch may be our end… hell, it was our beginning." I grinned, showing I was joking. He let out a relieved laugh.

"That's funny." He kissed my lips lightly. "Don't joke like that again." He warned. I smirked, quickly kissing his lips.

"Cross my heart." I teased. I sat down as Slughorn entered. Draco sat next to me and Harry and Ginny across from us. We were in the back of the classroom, no one could see us. We were close together, working on the potion we had been for the past month. I reached for an ingredient, laying my hand on his thigh. His stature straightened immediately. I let my hand move further up before sliding off his leg.

"You okay Draco?" I looked at Harry.

"Yeah." He grunted. I looked up from my book at a smiling Ginny. I winked at her.

"Ginny, walk with me to get some more vials." She stood and walked with me.

"What are you doing?"

"I laid my hand on his thigh and he went stiff." I said nonchalantly. She giggled. I grabbed a few vials. "Do it with Harry and see his reaction." We both looked back to the whispering boys. "Come on." We walked back to the table.

"Granger's table, it would be safer for you to stand while brewing rather than sitting." Slughorn scolded. We all stood up and pushed our seats away. I slid between Draco and the table, reaching and grabbing a stir rod thing. I heard him try and swallow a groan. I smirked down at the potion. "Granger, hair." I pulled my waist length hair back into a ponytail. I watched the potion brew, glancing at Ginny as she tortured Harry.

"You look good with your hair back." Draco whispered in my ear. He stood close behind me, his scent… his presence affecting my body. I silently cursed at him. I shivered as he placed a kiss on my neck. I reached over to grab a vile, bumping my bottom against him. He groaned. I smirked at Ginny. She was doing the same. I poured the potion into the vials. "Minx." He accused. I smiled and topped the vials. I looked at Slughorn, waving him over.

"Good job Granger, Malfoy." He picked up all the vials. "Clean up and you're dismissed." I looked at Draco.

"Get to it." I mocked. He chuckled and cleaned up while I sat around. "Ginny are you two almost done?" she nodded as she topped the vials. Slughorn came back over.

"Clean up and you can leave." He gathered the vials and left. Ginny and I looked at Harry. He sighed and cleaned up.

"Looks like those two are a little stiff."

…

"We have an hour until your dad's class." Ginny sighed.

"That's fine with me." I said rather rudely.

"What's your issue with him?" Harry asked. I squirmed in my seat, which happened to be Draco's lap. He grabbed my hips, forcing me to stay still.

"My father and I… we don't get along is a nice way of putting it."

"You have to go to his house for Easter don't you?" I saw Luna and Blaise approaching us. I looked back at Ginny.

"Yes." I said sadly.

"Why do you always sound like your knickers are in a bunch?" Blaise snorted as he plopped down, Luna on his lap. I squirmed again, Draco tried to hold my still. "I see why now." I laughed.

"No, we're talking about my father." Draco physically stiffened. I turned to look down at him, asking with my eyes if I should tell them.

"I think it's time." He whispered. I nodded and turned back to them. I unbuttoned my oxford showing them the bruises and cuts still on me.

"Hold one hand out." They all did. I let them feel me breathe, the way my ribs moved awkwardly. They all had questioning eyes. "My father has abused me for the past ten years, minor at first but it's escalated since mum and him started fighting. Right before the divorce he raped me…"

"Has he done it recently?"

"When I went into the bathroom when I returned from vacation… he raped me the night before and then he hit me until I was spitting up blood."

"No rough time with Jason?" Harry tried to joke.

"No, they helped me out. They knew about it… they loaded my system with drugs so my body was numb. They let me rest. I haven't slept with them since I stormed out of Draco's and disappeared." He was stiff behind me. "Draco doesn't let me alone… because he realized who attacked me all those months ago." They were in pure shocked.

"You didn't tell us?" Ginny sounded sad and insulted.

"I didn't even tell mum." I whispered, looking at my hands. "He came here hoping he could hurt me more…" I bit my lip. "I used the Crutiatus curse on him about a week after the accident."

"That's an unforgivable." Luna said shocked.

"He's used Imperius and Cruciatus." Their jaws hit the floor. "Do you want to know the trick to having Cruciatus to work?" they nodded. "You have to enjoy the pain you're inflicting."

"Why haven't you told anybody?" Ginny demanded, standing up. "We could have helped you. Dumbledore could have…" she trailed off. "The memories… you knew he would see what you didn't want him too." I nodded. "Tell him Hermione."

"He can help you." Luna sounded so sure.

"No one can help me." I said angrily. "No one can. Not even Draco. He will kill you if he finds out I told. He'll make me watch and then kill me." I had tears in my eyes. "Please, don't tell anyone." They all looked worried. "I'm able to handle myself. I can take care of him." I promised. "He asked me to come by early to class. I need to make a proposition with him anyways."

"Like what?" Draco sounded angry.

"I'm going to get him to quit Hogwarts."

-X-X-X-

"You can't just hit me when you get angry." I yelled at him. He smirked down at me.

"I'm your father, I can do whatever I want." He kicked my stomach.

"Please listen to me for a moment." He froze in the middle of his second kick.

"I'm listening."

"If you quit Hogwarts… I'll stay with you for most of Easter break and all of summer."

"Really?"

"Yes, this year I will spend it with you." He looked excited.

"I'm able to do what I want?"

"As long as I'm able to visit Jason and Damien." He scratched his head, processing the thought. After a few moments he held his hand out. I knew what he wanted. I wrapped my hand around his wrist. "I, Hermione Jean Granger, promise to spend most of sixth year Easter break with you and all of summer with visit to Jason and Damien if you quit Hogwarts and never come back."

"I, Professor Granger, promise to quit Hogwarts and never come back if you spend most of sixth year Easter break and all of summer with visits to Jason and Damien with me." he released my hand and smiled widely at me. I held my rib cage.

"I hate you." I muttered. He punched me. I knew it would start to bruise. He hit me again and again. I didn't feel anything from the physical abuse anymore. He stopped when he saw blood.

"Clean yourself up." He spat at me. I walked out of his classroom, seeing my friends and Draco waiting for me. Draco looked pissed. He pulled me to him.

"No." my voice was scratchy. "I have to go clean myself up." I headed for the prefects bathroom, him in tow. When I got there I did the routine. He watched as I cleaned up so… professionally well.

"You're good."

"I've had lots of practice." I hissed as I put pressure on my split lip. I pulled my hair down, letting my bangs fall forward. "See? I've thought of everything." I cast a spell to keep my hair pin straight. "You can't show you know. You've done well this past week." I smiled at him.

"How are you so happy about this?"

"I got him to leave." He looked happy about that.

"What did he want in return?"

"I'm spending the summer with him and most of Easter break."

"No, I'm not letting you."

"I made an unbreakable promise." Anger flared in him. "It was the only way. After this summer I will be seventeen and I never have to see him again."

"No. I can't protect you then." His eyes were filled with tears. I put my hand to his cheek.

"Just knowing you want to will keep me strong." I promised. "It won't be too bad. He's quitting and he'll never be back. I still have three months to enjoy my freedom." I whispered.

"You can't go." I wiped a stray tear from his cheek.

"I have to." I leaned my head against his chest. "Please don't make this hard. I don't want to go… but I have to. Just think about next year." He tilted my head up.

"What is there to look forward to?"

"We'll be head girl and head boy… we'll get our own room to hang in." I saw his eyes darken. "It'll be… fun." I whispered.

"It will." He agreed. I smirked at his obvious delight.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

-X-X-X-

My body was drenched in sweat. We had just beaten Slytherin and I was ecstatic. We hadn't even went hard on them, we were easy. That could be taken the wrong way. I walked with my victorious team, me on Fred and George's shoulders. They were cheering rowdily. I was laughing along with the twins. I saw the bummed Slytherin team. Draco and the quad look pissed a girl beat them. I slid down off the twins shoulders. I ran over to Draco. He looked down at me grumpily.

"Chill babe. I told you we were the best." My team chorused a 'Hell yeah', that made their moods darken even more. "Shoo." I watched the team leave laughing. I laughed at their happiness. I knew my bruises were full on now.

"You know… you don't need to be a mean winner." Ron grumbled. I laughed.

"Don't be a pour loser." I shot back smirking at his reddening face.

"WON WON, you did so well." I snorted my laughed as Lavender hugged the giant sweaty ape. "You were great out there." I tried swallowing my laughter. "You too Hermione, you won for us." She hooted. I smiled at her.

"We are the best." I reassured getting an annoyed grunt from the quad.

"Hermione you kicked ass out there." Luna and Ginny hugged me.

"I know, I know." They laughed at my haughtiness. "These guys are poor losers though and are currently mad at me."

"They should be, they sucked." They joked. Their faces darkened. "We're joking." We all said together.

"Come on Draco." I pulled him closer to me. He just stared at me. I leaned up to his ear. "How about you come with me." I whispered seductively.

"Why?" he grumbled, but not as grouchily.

"You'll get lucky." I offered. He straightened.

"How do I know you're legit?" he looked me over.

"I guess you'll have to trust me." I looked at Luna and Ginny. "I'm heading to the showers." They nodded and continued trying to cheer up their boyfriends. I looked back at Draco. "Interested in joining?" I offered. Everyone watched us. None of the other girls have given out yet, they planned to soon but I wasn't sure… I was sure now.

"Dude." Harry whispered. "You're turning her down?" he scoffed. "I wouldn't be strong enough." I heard the slap as Ginny smacked him. Draco continued staring me down.

"Never mind. I take it back." I turned to walk away but was gripped by the arm. I looked at Draco.

"Let's go." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "We'll stop by my room first to grab my clothes." I nodded and let him lead the way.

…

I grabbed a mid-thigh dress and undergarments. I grabbed my shower items and headed down to meet Draco. I smiled at him as he stood from the red couch. "You have to much red."

"I'm a Gryffindor." I laughed.

"Yeah, but it needs some green." I laughed again and pulled him along to the prefects shower. I locked the door with charms and silenced the room. I turned to the shower and turned it on. I began taking off my gear. When I was down to my undergarments I looked at a frozen Draco.

"You've seen all of me Draco." I reminded him.

"Not all of you." He corrected. He walked over to me, pushing my bra straps from my shoulders. He trailed after them with kisses. I began undressing him, removing gear piece after gear piece. I was glad when he was finally down to his boxers. I looked up at him, meeting his hungry gaze. I put my hand on his cheek, pulling him down to meet my lips. He undid the bra clasp, the lace falling from me. His kiss warmed me. It was hungry for sure, but gentle. He wanted to be gentle. His fingers danced across my skin, stopping as he felt an almost healed gash. He pulled away, our breathing heavy. I watched him look down to my gashes and bruises. His fingers danced across them, his face pained. I tore my gaze away from his beautiful face to his hands. "Does it hurt?" I watched him trace one of the bruise patterns.

"No…" I whispered. His fingers moved to the next one and repeated the actions.

"Did they hurt when it happened?" I wanted to laugh at him, that was a stupid question.

"No." they stopped hurting a while back. The curse hurts me, that's about it. "It's okay Draco…" I saw how hesitant he was to touch me. I grabbed his hands, placing them on my body. I moved them across my skin. "It's okay to touch me. I'm fine." I promised.

"You look so fragile."

"I'm not though." I whispered. I squeezed his hands, they gripped my hips. "I'm here, I won't break."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"The worse you could do is tell me you don't love me." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "That's the only pain you could cause me." I let my hands drop from his. His hand remained there on my hips, gripping them tightly.

"I could never…" he whispered. He pulled me closer to him, planting a kiss on my lips. It was so gentle, like a feather. It was the softest kisses we have shared. When he pulled back I looked into his deep eyes. They shined with admiration and love.

"You really do love me." I whispered, smiling. He laughed.

"You just realize this?" I chuckled with him. He leaned his forehead against mine. "I love you." He murmured.

"Even if I kicked your butt in Quidditch?" He laughed.

"Yes."

"Even if Harry and Ron still flirt with me?"

"Yes."

"Even if I denied to have sex with you?" he groaned.

"Hopefully you would be so mean, but yes." I chuckled, kissing his lips.

"Even though I have to spend time with my father?"

"Yes." He said firmly. "I love you no matter what, no matter who comes into our lives… it's you." I had tears well in my eyes.

"Damn you." I fanned myself trying to hold back tears. He chuckled, kissing away the tears. "I love you too." I whispered. We didn't have sex, we didn't make love… we just showered, loving being in each other's presence. I was getting dressed when I spoke again. "There are rules though." I said taking his hand. We walked back to drop our stuff off.

"What do you mean?" he looked at me suspiciously.

"You aren't allowed to flirt with other girls or I'll hex you." He chuckled. "If a girl talks to you and it pisses me off, I'll hex you and her. If you even glance at another girl twice… I will hex you." He looked at me, wondering whether to take me seriously or not. "Oh and one more thing…"

"What else could you threaten?" he joked. I laughed.

"If one girl talks to me about you in any other way than you being a student… can you guess the threat?"

"You will hex me?" he asked as we entered the Slytherin common room. Ginny and Luna were sitting on their boyfriends laps.

"Not only that but I will kick your man hood in." he looked terrified.

"Why would you do such torturous things?"

"Pansy asked me after I threatened her the other day if I was screwing you too." I set my face hard. His face heated up.

"I haven't slept with her since fourth year." My mouth dropped open.

"You just broke my rule." He covered himself up.

"No, you said girls." He looked like he had one upped me. I glared hard at him.

"Wow, your witch is harsh." Harry commented. I glared at him.

"Ginny, Luna would you want that?" they thought about it a moment.

"No." they decided.

"Exactly, I don't want other girls telling me whether my boyfriend is good in bed or not." They nodded.

"Harry's exes have approached me four times about it." Ginny said glaring at Harry.

"Blaise's exes have only approached me twice."

"Pansy and her trolls for friends cornered me." I turned back to Draco. "Have you slept with every Slytherin female?" I accused. The portrait opened. In stepped some first years.

"No, anyone under third year I haven't." he promised. "I'm digging my hole deeper aren't I?" I nodded. "I'm just going to…" he scurried away. I sat down, putting my things on the floor.

"What did you threaten him?"

"Think about anything involving other girls." Ginny and Luna nodded. "Now if he does any of that I'll hex him." They burst out laughing.

"Blaise that goes for you." Luna turned serious looking at him.

"Harry you too."

"Thanks Hermione." I grinned at them.

"Do you have floo powder?" I asked suddenly. They nodded.

"Up in our room."

"Let's go then." I stood up.

"Why?"

"Ginny, Luna and I have a date."

"Dresses?" they asked together. I nodded and they squealed.

"It is a ball after all." they laughed at me. "Lead the way Blaise and Harry." They led us up to their bedroom. Draco was just exiting when we got to the top of the stair case.

"What's going on?"

"Ginny, Luna and I are flooing to my mother's mall." I explained.

"Oh." We entered. I looked at Draco.

"Don't do anything stupid." I whispered. "See you later tonight?" he nodded. I turned to his fireplace, Luna and Ginny by my side. I grabbed some floo powder and we stood there. "Mum's." I said as I threw the floo powder.

-X-X-X-

It was Tuesday and we got the day off for the dance since most girls took forever to get ready. Ginny and Luna were doing their hair and getting ready. I sat with my hair done and makeup done. I was only in my lacey bra and matching underwear. It's been almost two weeks officially we have been dating. I was happy that we rarely fought, we were perfect together. "It's almost time to go meet the boys Hermione." Luna reminded me from the bathroom where she zipped Ginny up. She was beautiful in the dark red dress. It was simple and very ball gown like. I've seen the other girls here they weren't dressed nearly as rich, but they had beautiful gowns on. Luna wore a yellow dress that was a mix between mine and Gin's. I stood up from my bed.

"Should I put cover up on my tattoos?" I asked them, looking at my back in the mirror.

"No, you're beautiful." I bit my lip looking at the long tattoo that started on my shoulder and swayed down to my thigh. "I'll help you zip it up." I looked at Luna.

"You look amazing. You both do." They grinned. I stepped into the maroon dress, it was a corset top that accentuated my large breasts and ended in a jagged bottom at my hips, then the skirt was poofy almost, it had diamonds tufting the material that flowed and gathered somewhat on the floor. I let them pull the corset tight. I felt constricted. "Damn you." I joked. They laughed at my expression.

"You look amazing." They squealed together. I grinned. I looked myself over.

"Should I take out my tongue ring?" I looked at the stud.

"No, your piercings and tattoos describe who you are." Luna traced a rose. "You're amazing and beautiful Hermione don't forget it." I blushed.

"You guys are the best friends I could have." I hugged them both. "Ready to go meet them?" I asked putting on my black five inch heels. I stood slightly taller than my heeled friends.

"We're ready." They said anxiously. We walked down to the common room. I saw all the other girls were straightening their gowns. They stopped and stared as we walked with power and elegance. We exited and headed to meet them at the bottom of the grand staircase. "Did you see that?" Luna whispered.

"See what?" I asked.

"See this." I looked at what Ginny was staring at. Everyone was watching us.

"It's not a surprise, we're the most attractive girls here." I said matter-o-factly. We walked down the grand staircase. I didn't like what I saw, Pansy's hand on Draco. My mood stormed over. I walked with anger to my step.

"Calm down." Ginny said trying to catch up. They don't walk in heels much so they took their time. I ripped Pansy away from him.

"Didn't we already discuss this?" I snarled at her. Okay, so green wasn't the greatest shade on me.

"Maybe he doesn't want you." My hand crunched as it balled into a fist.

"Want to repeat that? I don't think my fist heard you." I threatened darkly.

"What's going on here?" Theodore Nott stepped up to us. I smirked.

"Pansy here was just telling me about how she wanted to go look for you." Her anger was evident in her eyes.

"Really?" Nott stepped up to her.

"Give me a moment." I grabbed Pansy's fake hair and dragged her down the hall a little bit. "I warned you, touch him and you'll regret your ever being born."

"If you know he loves you so much then why are you jealous?" I let go of her hair. "If you know you're the only woman in his life… why are you worried about everyone else? Maybe he isn't as faithful as he says he is." I glared hard at her. She turned to walk past me, I stuck my foot out. I smirked as I heard a squeal and a loud thump.

"At least you know where you belong now." I said bending down to look at her. She looked pissed. "Don't suggest something like that again. I am the only woman he's seeing. Why do you think you have a chance with him?"

"I'm beautiful and everyone wants me."

"You're more psychotic and delusional. I mean, think about it Pansy…" she was fuming. Hell, I was angry. "Why was he chasing me for years? You were together for a year right?"

"He didn't do that while we were together." She snarled at me.

"He did though. All his friends chased us. You have no hope. He's mine, has been for ten years."

"You're lying." She said pushing herself up. I stood up with power and dominance in my stance.

"No I'm not. I'll go ask him if you want… the second he laid eyes on me he wanted me. With you it took two years of you pestering him. You're pathetic and no one cares about you. They only like your status." She looked ready to cry until her eyes lit up.

"It's better than having to be a slut to gain my status." Everyone, my group, had gathered to watch this now.

"Did you forget?" I asked. She cocked her head to the side. "We're talking about me not you." 'Oh' chorused around us.

"Oh in that case…" she started. "Are you going to cut yourself now or later?" gasps surrounded us.

"Again, want to repeat that? My fist didn't hear you." She cackled. "You know what? I'm going to be the better person, like normal, and let you go." She smirked.

"You have nothing to say." She challenged. I back handed her. The slap echoed. Her face showed shock. I gripped her hair, pulling her close.

"Listen to me closely, because you didn't last time." I saw fear in her eyes. I twisted her head towards Draco. They all watched me with amusement and worry that I would do something I would regret. "See that?" she didn't answer. "I asked you a question."

"Yes." She said shakily. "I see him."

"Every inch of him is mine. Not yours, mine." I turned her head back to me. "If you touch him ever again, I will hurt you." Fear was evident on her face. "If you so much as glance at him, I will hurt you." A tear fell over the edge. "Don't be weak, I thought you were a Slytherin."

"I am." She spat at me. I gripped her face.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" she nodded. "I'll clarify what else you can't do… touch him, look at him, get within ten feet of him, say his name, think about him, an-"

"You won't know if I'm thinking about him." She snarled.

"But I do, I know you feel it… the snake crawling through your mind… that's me. Think that again and I will kill you." She looked so scared. **Hurt her. Hit her like daddy dearest does you.** I swallowed, that was tempting. "Do, think, or feel anything related to him and I will hurt you." I promised.

"I won't." she whispered. "I promise."

"Remember this, I'm told I'm the best torturer next to the dark lord." I whispered in her ear for only her to hear. "Think how much fun you will have." I released. "Get out of my sight." She hesitated taking a step. "Now." she ran off, trying not to break down. **You let her go. She won't really stop her obsession with him. You have to get rid of her. Kill her. **Shut up. I hissed at the voice in my head. **He's going to leave you, look at him, look at them all.** I looked at them they all looked amused for the most part. They aren't mad. Draco looks amused. I argued. **Maybe he's faking. I mean, who would love you? You're pathetic and disgusting.**

"Hermione you're beautiful…" I looked at Blaise. "But green isn't your best color." They all snickered.

"I didn't like where her thoughts were going." I whispered.

"I didn't know you could do that." Ginny said.

"Yeah, it's something I learn to do with my father. No one can usually detect me going through their mind."

"Have you done it to any of us?" Luna asked blushing.

"Are you talking about your dreams?" she blushed deeper and nodded. "No, I only know what goes on because you talk in your sleep." Their faces heated. "If I'm curious what's going on then I go through your mind."

"That's invasion of privacy." Ginny's face was really red.

"At least I didn't say what your dreams are about." I smirked at her. "Or who." She covered my mouth with her hand. "When was the last time you washed your hands?" I asked around her hand but it didn't come out right. She removed her hand. "That was very unsanitary." I scolded. She chuckled at me. "Hey think of it this way, your dreams are way more entertaining than Luna's."

"In what way?" she asked cautiously.

"Well, hers aren't as…" I stopped for a moment, thinking about the right word. "Physical as yours… but hers after a day-" Luna covered my mouth, quickly followed by Ginny's hand.

"Whose else have you visited?" I licked Luna's hand. She squealed and pulled her hand away. I licked Ginny's and got the same reaction.

"Well, you all think way to loudly." I said simply. "I've been in all of yours… except Draco's. He's mind never made me curious."

"He's your boyfriend." Ginny stated dumbly.

"Yes." I confirmed laughing at her. "I just didn't want to search his mind. He usually tells me what's on his mind." I laced my fingers through his. "Don't you baby?"

"Yes I do princess." He kissed my forehead.

"What else can you do?"

"I'm told to be very psychic." Ginny cocked her head to the side. "I can see things that will happen. I see it in my dreams, that's why I don't like sleeping. Not to mention some call me into their minds." I looked at Ginny accusingly. "As hot as your dream lover is… I'm not interested in seeing him anymore. I see him enough as is." Her face was on fire. She looked at me with daggers. "I didn't tell them who it is." I swallowed my laughter. She grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him to the dance. I laughed at her retreating form. Blaise was wondering who it was. "Harry." I answered his thoughts.

"That should be expected, but you called him hot so…" he smirked. I laughed.

"I can see where you would be confused." I joked. Draco was stiff. I looked up at him, I felt him in my mind. **He can't trust you. Feel the pain that comes with that thought. He's cheating. Kill her… kill them all.** His eyes widened as he heard the voice. I shoved him out. I looked back at Luna and Blaise.

"Read my mind." I looked at Blaise, picking my way into his mind. "Are you doing it?" he sounded disbelieving. I sorted through his thoughts.

"Luna had a bit mark made by you on her hip." I said causing Luna to flush ferociously. I sorted more through them. Shock hit me when I saw the black box with a diamond ring in it.

"What?" he asked confused.

"Um, nothing… good luck." I said. I pulled from his mind, knowing he didn't feel me.

"We're going to the dance." Luna pulled him away. I finally noticed that Ron had left. It was just Draco and I. I turned to him.

"Why did you enter my mind?"

"I was curious." He stated simply. I put my wall up. "Let's go dance."


	6. I love you

**April:**

Draco and I have been going strong since the dance, it's been two months and a few weeks. It was great, but now I was standing by the floo with my friends. They were worrying about me going to my father's. Draco especially. I didn't know how to reassure them. I just stood there as they stared at me. I knew how much they hoped I wouldn't go, but I had to. If I didn't I would die. I took a deep breath for courage and stepped in front of Draco. "You'll see me again Easter." I promised. "My mother and I are spending it with you. They're still hoping to get us together." We didn't want to tell them, we wanted it to stay our relationship.

"You'll let me see what he did to you?" I nodded. "Promise?"

"I promise." He pulled me into a tight hug. I gripped him harshly, holding on as if my life depended on it… hell, it did. "I love you." I whispered into his muscled chest.

"I love you too." He let me go slowly. He looked down at me. I felt him picking at my mind. I kept my wall up constantly ever since he heard the voice. I wouldn't answer his questions, I would just change the subject. I leaned up, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I'll see you in two days." He nodded. I grabbed my bag and stepped into the fireplace with floo powder. I hated flooing, it made my stomach feel queasy. I stepped into my father's house. He was waiting by the fireplace. He handed me a giant wad of cash.

"Go stop by Jason's and stock me and you up." He ordered. I nodded, my now life. I headed to their apartment, not knocking. They looked up from their shoot up.

"Jean." They both hugged me. I smiled and sat down. "Has your dad been messing with you?"

"No, not yet." I said sadly.

"Maybe we can… loosen you up a little." **Do it.** I took in a deep breath.

"Actually… I have a boyfriend." **It doesn't matter.**

"You didn't tell the last few." I laughed, that was true. "Come on, you already have us wound up." Jason purred.

"Sorry, this one's different. He's my Damien." I told Jason. His eyes widened.

"Wow." I laughed and nodded. "Seriously wicked."

"I know. Dad sent me, here's the money." I handed the wad.

"He called beforehand." He handed me one of my old bags. I took hold of it, checking the supplies.

"Thanks." I stood.

"Can't shoot up first?" I looked at the delectable white powder.

"I quit."

"Really?" I licked my lips and nodded. "Good for you. Daddy dearest won't let you, but good for you."

"I know. Thanks." I kissed their cheeks. "I'll see you before I leave." I promised.

"Okay, bye love."

…

I was in my room, putting on my outfit for today. I put on skin tight white torn jeans. I put on a red tank top that squeezed my breasts. I put on the black leather jacket and black heels. I didn't dress like a witch and everyone knew that. I walked down the stairs after doing my hair and makeup. I saw my dad passed out from the alcohol. I was buzzed with drugs, he had stuffed some in me before he passed out. I was surprised I hadn't died from over dosage yet. I had a split lip and a light bruise by my eye. I also had hand prints around my neck where he strangled me until I passed out. I wrote a note saying mum is making me eat with her and I would be back tonight. I stepped in and flooed to Malfoy Manor. I stepped out into the clean air. It was empty, I let my senses open, searching for anyone. I walked towards the dining room. Cissy was setting up the dining area. I was surprised to see her working.

"Hello Cissy." She jumped, whipping around to look at me. She squealed and hugged me.

"What happened to you?" she gasped looking at me face.

"Quidditch." I lied. She sighed shaking her head.

"You and Draco both." I laughed. "So, are you and him…" she looked giddy. I just laughed at her efforts. She frowned. "He's in his room. I'll call when your mother gets here."

"Okay." I headed to his room, knocking on the door.

"Come in." I opened and entered. "Mum, are they here yet?" he stepped out from his adjoining bathroom shirtless. I took him in. "Oh thank Merlin, you're alive." He rushed and hugged me. I hissed in pain as my ribs groaned in protest. He released me. "What did he do?"

"Just facial this time. He didn't rape me though, that's a plus. I pumped him with drugs and he passed out for most of the time. He broken my ribs again and I have a few bruises on my rib cage. I shrugged. "Nothing to it, easiest he's been on me."

"I hate him." He looked so angry.

"Me too, but he's back doing dentistry so I don't hate him as much."

"I would like to see you this summer."

"I can't, you know that." I whispered. "We'll owl all the time, it'll be over quickly."

"He could kill you."

"He wouldn't risk it."

"How are you so sure?" I unzipped my leather jacket.

"I know him… he's just like me."

"He's nothing like you."

"But he is…" I whispered, laughing sadistically. "We don't let what we love go. Once it's ours… it's ours."

"That's why you're so defensive with Pansy."

"Shush." I smirked at him. "We'll see about your possessiveness." I challenged. He frowned. "You can always call me in your dreams. I'll come to you." I promised.

"This is why I love you. You know how to defuse my anger." He whispered. I grinned.

"I also know how to get you rowdy." I placed a kiss on his bare chest, trailing my hand downwards. He grabbed it.

"Did you tell my mom?" I shook my head. "Do you want to?"

"Not until after this summer."

"Why?"

"If we tell them they will plan the wedding faster… I can't leave dad's Draco, if I do I will die."

"I hate him for that."

"I hate him period."

**Late May:**

It was our last class of the day. I had three hours until I would leave here. Three hours until I would get on the train and wait to arrive to my father. I was dense to say the least. Draco was saddened by the thought every day. Pansy had kept her distance and I was happy about that. Mum had accepted that I would be with dad all summer. My friends were worried for me. I was worried for me. I sat through the class, watching the clock. All my things were loaded on the train and I was terrified.

The next few hours went by in a blur. I only remember watching the clock in Herbology. Now I was on the train with our group… almost at the train station. I watched the scene around me. I didn't really want to be here, they all knew that. "Has Dumbledore tried talking to you again?" I looked at Draco.

"Every day." I whispered, looking back out the window.

"Are you scared?" I looked back at him, everyone's eyes on me. I took a deep breath.

"Honestly?" they nodded. "No." I shook my head. That was truthful, I wasn't scared. I wasn't terrified, just worried. "I'm worried that he'll go one step to far and I won't return next year." I said honestly. Ron and Lavender weren't part of our group anymore, they left a few months back. I looked back out the window.

"Why aren't you scared?" I looked at a sad Ginny.

"I know what to expect. I've been dealing with it for ten years. I'll turn seventeen this summer and never have to see him again, that's the only thing getting me through this." I admitted. I watched the station in the distance. "It's almost time." I whispered. We had five minutes until we would be in the station. I looked at Draco's dark eyes. "I'm going to tell you how next year will go." That got all of their attention. "When the summer is over and we are brought back here… you won't look at me, think of me, or talk to me until we arrive at Hogwarts. Wait for me to approach you. My father will be watching all. I need you all to do this for me." they all nodded. I was in my muggle clothes. I had on neon blue skinny jeans, a black top and black heels. I put my leather jacket on and stood, grabbing my bag and luggage. I felt the worry surrounding us. "Hey, don't worry about me guys. I've survived so far…" the train came to a stop. "Draco, can we have a moment?" I asked as they all started to leave. He stopped. "This is our last moment together." I whispered.

"Shh, I'll call for you and owl you." I nodded. He pulled me close. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." I let him kiss me. I returned it with passion. I pulled away. "You're a death eater Draco."

"I know."

"Don't be one. Act all you want, but stay true to you. Don't change." I begged.

"I promise I won't." I pulled his left arm up, pushing his sleeve up. I kissed the mark.

"I love you too much. Stay strong for me."

"I should be saying that to you." I laughed.

"I'm strong." I promised. I kissed him quickly one last time. I grabbed my luggage and left the train. My dad was waiting, he pulled me into a hug. My last good moment was seeing Draco stare at me. 'I love you' I mouthed to him. His smiled was what would get me through this summer. He released me, gripping my arm. His nails dug in as he pulled me away from everyone. I didn't look at anyone, just rolled my luggage along for the summer that would most likely kill me.


	7. Happy Birthday

**September:**

I walked on the train. I waved like a good girl to my father and walked to an empty cabin. I passed them on the way. I was numb from the inside out. I didn't approach them. I just slid the door shut and closed the curtains. I lifted up my shirt, looking at the healing gashes. I was almost free. I never got an owl from Draco. Honestly? I didn't care. I knew I should, but the voice I fought with in my head all those months ago finally ate away at me. I was dead for two minutes, I was brought back. I don't know how and I didn't bother asking. I'm guessing that it was my father. I was adapted to muggle things now. I plugged my iPod into my ears, blasting the music while I texted Jason and Damien. They were my best friends. They helped me survive. I waited as the train pulled away from the station. I wanted to see them. I really did. I was curious. I waited a half hour before standing. I straightened my top. I was dressed… muggle. I had on black skinny jeans and six inch black heels. For a top I had on a white tank that flowed and had on my black leather jacket. I threw my now blue hair over my shoulder, keeping my sunglasses perched on my nose. I had in my eyebrow and nose ring. I wasn't hiding anymore. People got used to the freak that was me. Well, they all loved it.

I lay down, staring at the ceiling as my music screamed in my ears. I tapped my foot to the beat, loosing myself. I thought about this summer. I had grown more in the feminine area. I didn't flaunt it. I stayed me. I thought about Draco. I was sad that he never written. I was pissed that he ignored my letters. I touched the vial and pendent lying between my cleavage. It was the only thing that kept me strong this summer. I had that voice. It ate me away, taking all emotion from me. I mean, it would to you too if it kept tearing you down. I still had emotion, it wasn't expressed as easily. I had found a wall to the voice. I didn't let it slip through. I was slowly regaining my emotions. I was able to feel somewhat. I mean emotionally, not physically. I felt a lot physically. I felt the ache in my chest Draco left when he didn't talk to me. I felt the buzz from all the drugs in my system. I felt the ache from not seeing my friends all summer too. I missed everything. Hogwarts was my home, when I left here… Malfoy Manor would be my home.

I didn't know where this summer left Draco and I. I didn't want to dwell on it. I sat up, knowing we were close. I got out a few of my studs. I put them through the holes I left empty. I looked like a 'carnie'. That was a term Jason used when he looked at me. I smirked at my beautiful reflection. I stood, looking out the window. I saw Hogwarts was closing in the distance. I got my bags ready. I sent one final text to Jason telling him I had to go and that I missed them. I opened the cabinet as the train stopped. I pulled my hair into a side ponytail and walked with my bags off the train behind everyone else. I didn't look at anyone, it was dark. I took my sunglasses off and tucked them in my purse. I saw first years giggling and talking about cute boys. I rolled my eyes and made my way to the carriages. It would be just my luck that I would end up with them… Harry, Ginny, Luna, Blaise, and Draco. I sat down next to Draco. I didn't speak, just turned from them. I looked different for sure because they didn't recognize me. We were almost to the castle when they spoke.

"Hermione?" I didn't look. I just straightened in my seat. "Look at you." I sighed and looked at Luna. "I love your hair color." I couldn't help but laugh.

"Thank you." I looked back out the carriage.

"How was your summer?" I looked at Ginny. I bit my lip.

"Um… I'm not dead." That was the best way to say it.

"That's a good sign." Harry agreed.

"Can I ask why you aren't looking at Draco?" I looked at Blaise.

"You can." I turned back to the scenery around me. I looked at the things pulling the carriages, my mouth dropping. They were ugly creatures.

"How are you able to see them?" I tore my gaze from the creatures to Luna.

"I died this summer. I came back… we aren't sure how." I muttered before looking at the creatures once more. "God, they're beautifully ugly." Luna laughed.

"That's a contradiction." I smirked.

"That it is." I laughed.

"Why aren't you acknowledging me?" I turned to Draco, slapping him. "What the bloody hell was that for?" he covered his stinging cheek.

"For not writing and for not answering me when I wrote you every fucking day." I spat at him. I turned away from him, looking out the carriage as we stopped in front of the castle. I stepped down, grabbing my bags. I walked off. They caught up.

"I did write, every day." I looked at him. I entered his mind. He was being truthful. "You swore." My face heated up.

"I know this." I turned away from him. My father must have intercepted all the letters.

"Hermione." He grabbed me turning me to him. Our chests against each other's. I was breathing heavy. Damn those eyes. He watched me for a moment. His lips swooped down to mine. I moved, his kiss landing on my cheek. "Minx." He whispered in my ear. I turned to him, rage on my face. I went to hit him again. He caught my hand. I tried again with the same result. I opened my mouth to yell at him, but he decided to kiss me. I fought for a second before wrapping my arms around his neck. I kissed him back feverishly. I heard giggles and I broke away from him. I saw the same giggling girls standing there admiring Draco. I glared at them. They scurried off. "You're still green as usual." I frowned. I pushed him away, grabbing my bags again. I squealed as he picked me up.

"Stop it. I'm mad at you." I bit my lip, trying to keep the smile away.

"Really? Are you now?" he challenged, cradling my body against his. I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I'm very mad." I informed him. He grinned, kissing my lips gently. I smiled against his lips. "Stop before we get in trouble." I said as his hands travelled up my body. I pushed them away. I grabbed my bags again. "I need to go put these up in our room before the dinner."

"Simple." He used magic. I sighed, he turned seventeen a month ago. My stuff went to Ginny, Luna and I's room. I took his hand.

"Let's go then. I am itching to know who's head girl this year." I pulled him along. Okay, I felt something for this place. I wasn't cold hearted in my home. I was home. I had no other home. We walked to the Great Hall, stopping outside. "I bet Gryffindor get more than Slytherin."

"Really?" he challenged. I nodded. I held my hand out towards him. He shook it. "I have a feeling we will have a great Quidditch team this year."

"You wish. We'll beat you like last year." I promised. He pulled me close.

"We'll beat you."

"I'd rather it just be you." I winked. He chuckled, leaning down to place a kiss on my lips. "I'll see you later?" he nodded. We headed in to our house tables. Ginny and Luna were already sitting with Lavender in our usual spot. I smiled and sat with them.

"You have the weirdest fights." Ginny noticed. I laughed.

"I know." I looked past her shoulder, seeing Draco watching me. I smirked and looked back at my group.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. May the sorting begin." He went through his list. We got thirty new members while Slytherin got twenty and the others split between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. I looked at Draco and stuck my tongue out at him as he chuckled. "Now to announce our Head Boy and Head Girl." He looked around us all. "Hermione Granger from Gryffindor is now our Head Girl." Everyone cheered. I stood up and dramatically bowed. People chuckled and I sat back down happy. "Our Head Boy is…" my breathing stopped. It needed to be Draco. NEEDED. "Draco Malfoy from Slytherin." Cheering broke out again. I smiled at him. Mad when Pansy hugged him. I looked at her specifically. Her face showed the obvious fear. "Now, may the feast begin." Everyone ate. I picked at my food. Ginny and Luna chatted with new Gryffindor's.

"So, do any of you think you will be trying out for the Quidditch team?" Luna asked politely.

"Depends, who's the captain?" I laughed at the boy, not mockingly.

"I like your attitude." I told him. He grinned, blushing.

"Who's the captain?" he returned to the question.

"You're looking at her." I smirked as his mouth dropped. "Yeah, I get that response a lot."

"She's the it girl…" Ginny explained. "She's beautiful, popular, head girl, Quidditch captain, and ranked number one in the school."

"Wow." They breathed, staring at me.

"Stop it, it sounds like you're bragging for me." I frowned at my two best friends. "I'm actually not that special. I hope you guys try out for the team." I batted my eyelashes, twirling my hair.

"We plan to." I knew then, I had them wrapped around my finger. I also saw a very jealous Draco. I laughed on the inside.

-X-X-X-

"Ms. Granger." I looked at Dumbledore.

"Yes, Headmaster?" I asked. He looked at my hair.

"Are you going to keep your hair that color?" he looked to my eyes.

"I can change it if you want." He nodded. "I have a question Headmaster…" his eyes told me he saw everything. "Did you know who attacked me?" his eyes turned sad.

"Yes." He admitted. I tilted my head forward in shame. "I knew what he held against you. You're going to be seventeen soon… I should do something about him though."

"Please don't." I whispered. "I won't be seeing him anytime soon."

"Your friends love you." He told me as I turned to leave. "I feel bad for Draco especially."

"You know about him?" he nodded.

"He loves you so much…" he said calmly. "It kills him knowing what your father did to you."

"I know." I whispered. "I love him too."

"I know." He smiled. "He has a mission from you know who…" I knew my eyes were wide. "I suggest you keep by his side to keep him strong." He dismissed me. I walked down the stair case. It turned, spiraling to let me out. I stepped into the empty halls. I walked towards my room. Why didn't Draco tell me about his mission?

-X-X-X-

I sat, watching the tryouts. I was impatient to get good players, I needed people to replace the great players we lost. Hell, most that tried out were amazing. I smiled as I finished up. Everyone was tired. "I'll let you know personally whether you got it or not." I smiled at everyone. "I'll see you in a bit." Ginny and Luna were a definite in. They were amazing. I knew a few other newbies I would let in. Our team practiced for two hours then. We were amazing still. I had nothing to worry about. I walked towards dinner with Ginny and Luna. They had showered and came back to walk with me. I knew I smelled. I have been practicing for the past three hours. Sweat had coated my body.

"You look hot Hermione." I looked at Theo. I smirked and laughed.

"In your dreams."

"You already are." He winked and left us. I laughed at him.

"You shouldn't do that." I looked at Luna confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Flirting with other men." Ginny explained.

"You thought that was…" I burst out laughing. I wiped the tears away. "That's funny. I haven't laughed like that in years." I sighed. My tummy grumbled, wanting food. "I'm hungry."

"Me too." They said together. "So, I was wandering…" Luna began.

"What?"

"What are you doing for your birthday?" I looked at her confused.

"My birthday?" it was foreign almost.

"It's Saturday… isn't it?" they looked at each other.

"Yeah… how could I forget about that?"

"We have no idea." They laughed at me.

"Okay, well, now that I know when it is… nothing. Probably just hanging with you guys or Quidditch practice."

"Okay. Hey, that reminds me… did I make the team?"

"Of course, I let the team decide too. They thought you two were some of the best." They grinned happily. "I have to tell four more students they made the team."

"Only ten tried out."

"I know, it'll make things easier this way." They looked confused. We entered the dining hall. I saw the other Quidditch members sitting, stuffing their faces. "Well, I already told two… then add four. That means that I only have to disappoint four students."

"Weird way of looking at it." We sat at our normal spot. People were scattered about, eating and laughing. "Who got in?" I looked down the table, pointing out the four students. "Good, I thought they were the best too." I grinned.

"Those were just first years. There were others that tried out yesterday. Two fifth years made it." They nodded at my comment. "I have prefect duties after dinner." I frowned.

"You mean Head Girl."

…

I had left dinner early to go and quickly shower. I threw on my skirt and oxford. I slid my socks and shoes on and ran towards the prefect room. I slid in right as the door was about to close. I walked next to Draco, sitting down. I tried to catch my breath while he introduce everyone and talked about patrolling schedules. I had caught my breath when it was my turn. I stood. "Now, as you all know October comes after September… so we need ideas for this year's Halloween dance. Should it be the normal ball, or something better?"

"Why don't we go with your idea like last year? Everyone loved it. They got to experience culture and it was so much fun." I nodded.

"We could, but it was a lot of work waiting for hundreds of students to pick out costumes. I spent more time watching girls change then sleeping those weeks." I bit my lip, thinking for a moment. "Abernathy, what about you?"

"What about me?" she looked around.

"Do you have any ideas?" I stressed.

"Oh…" she thought for a moment. "What if we dressed like muggles?"

"You mean like last year's theme?" I can't believe I thought she was smart.

"No, I mean…" she cleared her throat. "You dress differently from us when not in uniform… not that it's a bad thing. I mean-" I held my hand up, cutting her off.

"I know what you mean and we could do a muggle club theme." I approved. "That's a smart idea. I could take you too stores in groups like last year, but I'm not giving the girls free roam." I glared at her. She took forever last year. "Draco and I will go talk to Dumbledore about it. Who's patrol is it tonight?"

"Ours." I looked at him.

"Perfect. Meeting dismissed." They all left. I slumped into my chair.

"You almost missed your first meeting." He smirked down at me. I looked up at him.

"I know. Quidditch, dinner, shower, hopping shoes, and running… in that order. Let's go talk to Dumbledore and get the idea cleared." I stood up. We headed to the staircase. As it spun up, Draco pulled me hard against him.

"I've missed you." He kissed below my ear. I shivered.

"I've missed you too." I turned in his arms, knowing I had ten seconds. I kissed him. The stone creaked and I pulled away as we arrived. I knocked on the door.

"Come in." I entered with Draco in tow. "Hermione, how is… Draco?"

"Good. We came to talk about the Halloween ball."

"What about it Ms. Granger?"

"We came up with a theme." He sat behind his desk. "Everyone loved the muggle theme last year so instead of dressing like they do on Halloween, we thought that we could do a muggle clubbing theme."

"That's brilliant. It's diverse too."

"We understand this, that's why we hoped you would approve." Draco said politely.

"Good, how do you plan on doing this…?"

"Same as last year. I will catch up easily. I promise."

"Okay, if you think you can do it." I nodded. "You are dismissed." We left, closing the door behind us. We stepped back into the stairwell. I turned to Draco, kissing him again. His hands gripped me closer. I backed away once the stairwell stopped.

"Let's start patrolling."

-X-X-X-

I groaned at my alarm clock. I stood up and headed to the shower. I went through my routine. I hated waking up this early. I was laying back on my bed in my undergarments when they woke up. "Shower." Ginny called. I laughed as I watched her crawl to the bathroom. When Ginny got out of the shower I would start doing my makeup and hair. I looked at the happy Luna.

"Why are you so happy?" I yawned. She blushed. "You and Blaise finally did it, huh?" her face turned even redder. "Awe." I squealed, getting cut off by a yawn.

"Why are you so tired?" she shot back jokingly. I grinned and stood, stretching. "Damn, will you ever stop growing?" I looked down at my enlarged cup size. I laughed.

"I hope so. Soon I'll be as big as a house." I yawned. She laughed.

"What kept you out so late?" she wagged her eyebrows.

"Draco and I were patrolling."

"Oh, that's why there's a bit on your breast." I looked down seeing the teeth mark bruise. I frowned at it. "Oh and the love bites on your shoulder and neck." I rushed to the mirror.

"Damn him." I cursed. "I work so fucking hard for a perfect complexion and he ruins it." Ginny exited the bathroom looking refreshed.

"Damn, you look like you were attacked." She snickered at me. I sighed. I cast a spell on my hair, making it into sex curls down my back. I applied my makeup and began getting dressed. I pulled on my shoes and waited for them to finish. I applied light lip gloss as they headed for the door. I followed in tow. We walked towards our waiting boyfriends. I pushed my hair around my neck. I didn't even look at Draco.

"What's wrong baby?" I just huffed and turned away from him. "Ginny, Luna… what did I do?"

"Well, you only bit her so much it looks like a squirrel attacked her." I glared at Luna's simile.

"Really?" Harry asked amused. I unbuttoned the top few buttons of my oxford, pushing my hair off around my neck. They saw the love bites and laughed. "It doesn't look like a squirrel." He assured me laughing. "Just like you held out on Draco again." I buttoned my shirt back up.

"This isn't funny. Dad hexed me. I'm not able of healing any bodily injuries." I frowned at them. "I'll be stuck like this until they heal."

"Well, people will know you're mine then." Draco wrapped his arms around me. I sighed, trying to get away, but he held me tight to him.

"Yeah well I work hard for a perfect fucking complexion… your nibbles don't help." I scolded. His eyes were wide. "I swear, so what?" I leaned my head against his chest. "Damn you." I muttered. He laughed, holding my body to his.

"You know, you look good mussed." He noted. I pulled back, looking up at him.

"Mussed… that's what you call biting." I nodded. "I would call it biting as if you were eating corn on the cob, but whatever tickles your bum." He laughed, leaning down for a kiss. I turned my cheek.

"Awe, don't be like that." He kissed down my jaw. His neck was right there… I bit down hard, making him yelp. "Damn Hermione." He touched where I bit him.

"There, now people will know you're my corn on the cob." I turned and walked away. I heard bellows of laughter after me. I couldn't help but silently chuckle as I sat down. I nibbled at the muffin. Ginny and Luna sat down opposite of me. They were still laughing. I grinned.

"Damn, your plan so didn't work out." Luna said. I looked up from my muffin at her. She was staring at Draco. I looked to see him bragging. My mouth hit the table. Damn him. "Some people are here to see you." Luna nudged my foot and I looked up. The first to third year try out people were here. I smiled at them all.

"Hey guys."

"Do you know who's on the team?" the young one from welcome back night asked.

"Yes I do. Four made it and four didn't." the faces were fighting emotions. "You four." I pointed to the best. "Made it." I looked at their happy faces. "I'm sorry." I said to the other ones. "You all were great, I had the team help me choose. You should try out next year when I'm gone and more seventh years." They nodded, hope filling their eyes. I looked at the others. "See you this Friday during study for practice." I turned away from them and looked at Luna and Ginny.

"What's going on inside his head?" Ginny was staring at Draco. I joined them.

"I don't know. I bit him harshly… who's happy about that?" they shrugged and turned back to me. I tore my gaze away from their grey captors. I felt him pick at my wall, I just pushed him away. "I'll bit him more if he's that enthused about it." They chuckled.

"Your love bites are cute." Luna said suddenly. "Blaise doesn't do rough with me… he acts as if I'll break."

"Tell him what you want. He'll do anything for you." I assured her.

"You think?" I nodded. I looked at Ginny.

"Ginny doesn't need to worry about Harry being gentle do you?" her face heated up. "They're animals with each other." I growled seductively at them. They cackled. I joined in. We earned the attention of people around us, including Draco and them. I looked at where I bit him and frowned. "Draco's mood changes." I answered Luna.

"I didn't ask you anything…"

"Shit, I'm sorry. I think you opened your mind to me." she nodded. "We haven't…" I looked down at my muffin embarrassed. "Done it. He's scared I will regret it… you know?" they nodded. "I don't want to move fast with him anyways. I like how we're moving… other than Pansy." I crinkled my nose. "Ick. I hate her."

"We know."

-X-X-X-

We had three long hours of Quidditch practice with the newbies. They were talented for sure. We would crush Slytherin this year. I got out of the shower and looked around for my towel. I forgot it in my room. I looked for my wand, okay… not there either. I never forget my wand. I walked to the door of our adjoining bathroom and covered as mush of me with my hands as I could. I can't believe I have to do this. I'm also happy I showered in my room instead of in the prefects bathroom. I stepped out. The room was dark. I ran into something… okay someone. I screeched. The lights came on and it was Draco. I pushed away from him and retreated to the bathroom. I closed the door and sat in front of it, trying to cool my heart. "Hermione." It was Ginny.

"Hand me a towel." I screamed back. It was silent for a moment and then a knock. I opened it enough and stuck my hand out, causing laughter. I flicked them off then grabbed the towel. I shut the door and stood up. I wrapped the towel tight around me and stepped back out. I tried to keep my temper under control. "Who's idea was it to turn off the lights and take my wand?" I said carefully.

"No one took your wand." Luna said carefully. "It was wrapped in your towel." I frowned.

"I don't forget my wand, I always have it on me." I shook it off. "Fine, who turned off the lights?" Ginny raised her hand. "I don't like being naked and in the dark. Especially when someone grabs me." I scolded them all. Wait… "Why are you all in our room with the lights off?" they were all clothed. I'm so confused.

"Happy Birthday." Ginny said uncertainly. I frowned.

"What day is today?" I asked Draco.

"September 19."

"Oh, it is my birthday." They chuckled at me. I looked down. "I'm naked." They laughed again. I rocked on my feet. "This is worse than my fifteenth birthday."

"What happened then?"

"I was at Dad's. He was passed out and I needed to clean up so I went to Jason and Damien's… I won't go into details." I shrugged it off. "So, I'm naked." I said again. "I'm just going to grab some clothes and try this again."

"Okay." Ginny laughed. I grabbed my muggle clothes for today and headed back to the bathroom. I buttoned up the jean oxford thing, rolling up the sleeves. I pulled up the cream skirt with a brown belt over the material to mid-waist. I looked at myself in the mirror. I liked what I saw. I put on the brown flats that matched the belt and reopened the door.

"Now… let's try this again." I joked.

"Why do you wear so much muggle clothing?" Draco asked, taking me in.

"I like the muggle world better than this one." I admitted. "There I'm Jean. I'm not Hermione Granger the brightest witch of her time, or Hermione Granger head of everything at Hogwarts, or Hermione Granger is tying the knot with long time playmate Draco Malfoy. I'm just Jean. Well, drug addict and alcoholic… and addicted to sex, but I'm me."

"Playmate?" he scoffed. "I laughed when that came out."

"Me too. We met twelve years ago because of our fathers… idiots." I laughed again. "So, what are we doing today now that I'm dressed?" I asked, wrapping my arm around Draco's waist.

"Everyone's down at Hogsmeade. I thought we could all go down there for the day and then when we get back you can open your gifts." Ginny planned everything. Gifts? I looked around, trying to be nonchalant. "You won't find them." I frowned at my bad sleuthing skills. "They're currently… hidden." I went to her mind. She blocked me. She couldn't feel it of course, but still.

"Fine, let's go." I grabbed my purse and let them lead the way, Draco walking with me. Our hand fit perfectly together. It was… magical.

"What's so funny?" I looked up into his light blue sort of grey eyes.

"I made another joke inside my head." He smiled, shaking his head.

"Do I want to know?"

"It's about you."

"Then yes, I do."

"Well, our hands fit perfectly together. Have you ever noticed that?" he looked down at our intertwined fingers.

"Every time we hold hands." He whispered.

"Well, I said it thought how magical it was and we're witches and wizards."

"Have you slept recently?"

"Not a full night's why?"

"That's an awful joke." I laughed.

"I know." I leaned my head on his shoulder, following our group to Hogsmeade. Draco and I were silent most of the way. When I yawned did he finally talk.

"Do you want a piggy back ride?" he asked, his eye looking so happy.

"Are you sure you can carry me?"

"Yes." He laughed. "You're almost lighter than a feather." He kissed my lips gently.

"You're too gentle with me." I whispered against his lips. "Harry and Luna are animalistic with each other." He pulled back.

"How do you know that?" he looked terrified.

"She thinks about it daily and dreams about it. She even talks about it. Luna and Blaise are gentle with each other too."

"Okay, well… we'll get there." He kissed me again and turned for me to get on his back. I hopped on. "Wow I was wrong, you're way lighter than a feather." I laughed as he caught up with the group. I kissed his neck, nibbling and sucking here and there. I stopped once he caught up with the group.

"How did you get so lucky?" Ginny asked laughing.

"I don't know." I kissed his neck again. "He asked me if I wanted him to carry me and I accepted." She laughed again. "Your boyfriends are probably too weak for that." I haughtily said. I knew they would let them then. I heard squeals and saw them on their backs. I winked at them and they laughed. "Maybe they aren't that weak." I joked. Ginny and Luna grinned at me. I kissed Draco's bite mark I left earlier this week. I slid down off his back as we stopped outside Honeyduke's. "Come on. I want something sweet." I pulled him inside. I picked out some fudge and toffee and headed to the counter. I pulled my wallet out only to have Draco stop me.

"I'll pay." He set some money on the counter and grabbed my things. That's how my day went. Draco paid for whatever I wanted and he carried the bags. I knew I loved him. We all sat in The Three Broomsticks, drinking butterbeer's. We all were gathered in the crowded pub, laughing and having fun. This was the best birthday ever. I know how to hold my liquor, but wizard liquor is way stronger than muggle liquor. I stopped after three butterbeers. "Awe, are you getting tipsy."

"A little, but if I don't stop now, I won't later." I said simply. I ran a hand through my still blue hair. Dumbledore was itching for me to change it and I planned to, but this is the first free moment I got since he asked me too. "Dumbledore asked me to his office a week or so ago… and he knows about my father." I said semi seriously. "He also asked me to dye my hair back." I giggled. "I told him I would." I twirled the soft purple and blue stands. "I'm thinking black or dark brown…" I said. "I could go blonde, but I'm too smart to be a blonde." Luna scoffed at me. "I'm joking. If I go blonde it'll be semi white blonde with colored strands… he doesn't want to bright of colors… what do you think I should do Ginny?" I looked at her.

"Well, you have hundreds of colors to choose from… I would go with black." I nodded.

"It matches most of my tats that way." She chuckled. "I don't know. I'll decide when I don't have alcohol in me." dropped my hands from my hair. "I like the cotton candy colors." I said before leaning back in my chair.

"I do to." Luna laughed. "Is it soft?" I put my head near her. She felt it. "Oh wow, that's really soft."

"Yep." I looked so proud. I leaned back. I looked at Draco, he was watching me in amusement. "I'm bored." I sighed.

"Is everyone else ready to head back?" by the time we got back it would be dinner time. Everyone nodded and we headed back.

"Draco will you carry me again?" he laughed and bent. I hoped onto his back. "Ginny is my ass hanging out?" she looked.

"No, you're good." She chuckled. I leaned my head against his neck.

"Kay thanks." I muttered. I was tired from practice and I barely sleep anymore.

….

We were heading to the library. I was tired and didn't particularly want to walk, but I was. Draco's hand in mine. They led me to the back where I told Draco I wanted to be with him. I looked at them. "Why are we here?" I asked stupidly.

"Your presents." Ginny laughed, explaining. I nodded. As we got to the table they were at I saw gifts. I knew my eyes were lit with excitement as I bounced up and down. "Calm down and open Harry and I's first." I opened it and it was an iHome.

"You guys had to go to the muggle world for this…" it was tiny and battery operated, they bought me a huge ass pack of batteries too.

"Yes, and we dealt with stinky men in an electronic stores. We're 'slow' by the way." I laughed at Harry's confusion. "What does that mean?"

"It means that you aren't all there." I pointed at my head. "It's calling you beyond stupid."

"That's rude." Harry said. I laughed.

"It's fine. Ignore them."

"Open ours next." Luna handed me another gift. I opened the cute present. It was a box… with holes.

"Sweetie, um, how long has this been wrapped?"

"The paper had holes in it to." She laughed. I sighed, I thought she killed the poor thing. I opened it. Oh my gosh, it was a cat. A tiny kitten.

"Awe." I squealed, petting the fur ball. "Your name will be Crookshanks." I pet it. It was tiny, but still bigger than my hand. "She's beautiful." I squealed hugging Luna and then Blaise.

"Glad you like her." Blaise smiled. "It took forever to find the perfect one. Luna insisted this was it." I smiled. "We had some cat supplies taken up to your room too."

"Thank you." I kissed the fur ball's head.

"Okay, okay… it's my turn now." I turned to Draco, almost dropping the cat in the process. He was down on one knee. I held the cat tighter to me, shock in my face. "Let the cat breathe love." He whispered. I loosened my grip. I felt like I was going to faint. "Hermione… I have loved you since you stepped through the floo twelve years ago." He started. "I love you now, I will love you forever. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

**First Author's note:**

**I know that they don't have the holidays I put in there, but I needed a reason. I'm sorry if I disrespected JK Rowling's work. This is my first fanfic for HP and it's raw, but I will go back and fix things when my computer works properly. I promise. Reviews are wanted. **


	8. It's part of the plan

**October: **

I looked at my beautiful two ring engagement ring. The main one was a diamond rose and had diamonds surrounding it. Then I had a diamond encrusted ring underneath it. I was happy. Crookshanks followed me everywhere, always hissing at the people who she didn't like. I had the perfect ideal life. I've also been clean a month and planned to keep it that way. I kept up on top of my prefect duties, I had spent the last three weeks taking students to get club clothes for the dance and studying muggle dance clubs. That just meant it was date night for Draco and I. We went with an upbeat theme to it, totally opposite from the castle's décor. It was the Saturday before the Halloween dance, which meant it was my personal group's turn.

I took them to a muggle mall. We shopped separately, boys and girls. We took our time and bought everything we wanted. I helped fund Ginny's expenses since she wasn't rich. Not being mean, she is very well rounded and I love her for it. I only paid for her because she had to put up with my cat when she tore her uniform to pieces. I had bag after bag and so did they. I planned on wearing one of the many outfits I bought today. They wanted something hot, but couldn't find the right thing. I had basically sent many bags back to my room. I knew what worked with me.

"What about this?" Ginny came out in a red, off shoulder dress. I smiled. It looked absolutely beautiful.

"Yes, I love it" I squealed. She grinned and happy danced.

"Me too." She went back into the dressing room. "Luna did you find anything?"

"Yes. I think this is it." She stepped out in a mustard yellow strapless dress that hugged her small curves. She looked amazing. I grinned at her.

"Yes, it's perfect."

"I know." She went back in and took it off.

"We have to meet the boys for lunch hurry." I called, pulling out my phone. I texted Jason and Damien, telling them I wanted them to meet my friends over St. Andrew's. They wanted to meet the man that changed me. I twirled my ring around my finger, grinning. They haven't been told of my engagement. My phone beeped and I read the message. They were at the mall. I texted them to meet us for lunch. So, they would get to meet them sooner than St. Andrew's.

"We're ready." We headed to the checkout counter. I put the purchases on my father's credit card. We walked out and headed to the pizza place. "What are you in such a rush about?" Ginny grumbled as I walked quickly. I saw Jason and Damien.

"Jean." I ran and hugged them both.

"I've missed you so much." I said. I grinned at them.

"We've missed you too love. Want a shoot?" I shook my head.

"Almost two month clean." They grinned. "I'm happy. Come on, you can meet my friends." I turned to a nervous Ginny and Luna. "These are two of my best friends, Ginny Weasley and Luna Lovegood." I introduced them. "These two amazing people are Jason and Damien." They grinned at the girls. "So, we are meeting their boyfriends and my fiancée for lunch."

"You're engaged?" Jason asked. I showed them the rings. "Oh, he has amazing taste."

"Duh, he's marrying me." they laughed. "Come on." I pulled them inside the pizzeria. I saw them sitting in the back, out of place. "Go sit down and I'll order." I walked to the counter. "Did they order?" I asked the young girl, pointing at my table.

"No, they aren't slow are they?"

"No, they're just from a different area." I reassured her. "Just get us a large plain pizza and a large pep."

"Okay, it'll be done in fifteen to twenty minutes." I walked to the table and sat down next to Draco.

"We have pizza coming." I stated proudly. Everyone was quiet. "What?" I looked around. I looked at Jason and Damien. "They haven't talked to you?" they shook their heads. I sighed. "Jason and Damien this is Luna's boyfriend Blaise, Ginny's boyfriend Harry, and my fiancée Draco. You gits, these are my best buds, Jason and Damien." They all nodded at each other.

"So this is the man you talk so much about?" my face heated up and I nodded. "He tamed you." Jason sighed.

"We were sure you would stay a wild child." Damien agreed.

"Nope, I'm clean." I grinned. "It's a little hard, but I'm the head girl in my school. I have to stay clean."

"So, did you re-pierce your tongue?" I stuck it out, showing the little stud. "Nice, did it hurt the second time?"

"Naw, you know that stuff doesn't hurt me." I nudged him. I looked at the group. "Will you guys talk? You will get along with them." They looked doubtful. "Jason here was the top sport player in his school, captain of most teams." The boys perked up. "Damien here is a designer. He is brilliant with his designs." Luna and Ginny looked him over. "He also has an unhealthy obsession with candy and shopping."

…

We said goodbye to Jason and Damien and headed our own way. I leaned my head on Draco's shoulder, his arm wrapped around me tightly. "So, are you really that jealous?" I asked looking up at him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked feigning nonchalance.

"I heard you growl." He grinned.

"They looked at you too much."

"We have a history." I felt his arm squeeze me tighter.

"They all look at you too much." I laughed.

"We have to be back by dinner." I said. I watched a group of girls walk by, staring at Draco. "See, it doesn't bother me."

"It does when it was Pansy." He mocked. I sighed.

"Yes, well she kept irritating me." I said simply. "If they talk to you… it'll be a different story." We sat on a bench. The couples had left back to the wizarding world and it was just me and him. "I love you."

"I love you too." He looked around us. "Muggles aren't that bad." He decided.

"I know this." I laughed. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, kissing my head. I sighed, relaxing into him. "Promise you won't ever leave me." I whispered looking up at him.

"I promise." I smiled. "Promise you'll never leave me… even when I finish my task." I looked away from him.

"I promise." I swallowed the lump in my throat. He had to kill Dumbledore. That was his only task from the Dark Lord. I really hoped I wouldn't lose him. "Let's make a bet." I said, changing the mood.

"What is it?"

"I bet that I can get a guy to pick me up in five minutes… but the bet is, I bet you can't let him flirt with me for two minutes before coming and being the dominating person you are."

"I can do that." I laughed.

"Fine, go sit a few benches down in front of the black store." He stood and left. I waited a minute before sliding my rings into my purse and walking into the store. An early twenties male stood there, watching people enter. I looked around, finding a shirt that was up high. I reached for it, letting my shirt rise up a little.

"Can I help you?" I looked at him and smiled.

"Yeah, you're really tall…" I looked him over seductively, no ring… perfect. "Can you reach that for me." he smirked at me and grabbed it off the top shelf. "Thank you so much." I looked at the size of the shirt. "I'm actually a small, can you grab one?" he nodded and began searching for the shirt. I looked over him appreciatively. I saw Draco gripping the bench painfully. I smirked at him.

"Here you go beautiful." He said seductively. He leaned on the wall behind me. I twirled my hair.

"Thanks."

"Your body…" he looked it over, stopping at my cleavage then my bare stomach. "It's amazing." I smiled.

"Thank you." His eyes were a dark green. I smiled. He tucked a hair behind my ear. I had finally dyed it back, it was brown with natural looking highlights.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen." His eyes flashed an emotion. "I need you to ring this up after I get jeans over there." He nodded and took the tee from my hands. I grabbed my size jeans in every color. I walked over and let him ring it up. I handed him the credit card. I took my bags, sliding my rings back on. "See you around." I winked and headed out. Draco had a stormy expression. I laughed. "I'm surprised you made it."

"Me too." He was gloomy. I started walking. Ginny had taken my stuff back for me, so this was my only bag now. "Let's see if you can do it." He challenged.

"Okay. Go order ice cream." I sat on the bench across from the store. I watched him enter and waiting in line. The girl at the counter shamelessly flirted. She looked at me and I glared at her, making her stop. I never noticed someone sat down next to me.

"Hello there." I looked at the fifteen year old.

"Hello."

"My friends over there dared me to come get your number." I looked where he was pointing. I smiled.

"Sure, I will help you out."

"Really?" he looked grateful. I nodded and grabbed a permanent marker from my bag. I wrote it down, actually being truthful. "Thank you so much."

"Baby." I looked up at an angry Draco. I grabbed my bag and stood.

"Text me." I winked at him and stood. I took Draco's hand and began walking.

"You scared her."

"I know."

"You gave him your number." I nodded. "Why?"

"I don't get service at Hogwarts." I laughed. He looked stressed. "It's fine baby. His friends dared him to talk to me."

"Git." Was all he said.

"Let's go back. You're being unreasonable."

-X-X-X-

We had a game the night before the dance. Halloween was on a Saturday this year, so it all worked out. I was sweaty and gross. We won though. Of course, we were facing Slytherin again and we crushed them. Ginny and Luna were slugging along with me towards the dining hall. Everyone was cheering and happy. I saw our boys waiting for us. I didn't even smile at them. I just walked up to them. "Hey." I said tiredly.

"Hey." They looked so bummed. "I can't believe you crushed us."

"I can." I joked. "It's because we have Luna and Ginny." I said simply. "Let's go eat." I was starved. I pulled Draco along with me. I made him sit with me this time. I ate a full meal actually. When I finished I stood. "I'm going to go shower and then sleep." I kissed his cheek. "See ya." He pulled me back down to him, kissing me fully.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight." I mumbled, kissing him again. I headed off, excited to be able to shower. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't injured. I didn't have to be careful for gashes or anything. I was perfectly healed.

…

I stretched. It was the day where my friends would spend hours getting ready. I relaxed, looking at the clock. It was noon. I had slept in. Ginny and Luna were gone. I picked up the note they left. _In library. Meet us when you're up._ I sighed and got changed. Sweats and a tank top. I headed down, straight to the back where they would be. I saw them laughing and chatting. I stopped around the corner, hiding.

"No." Luna said.

"I think she did it."

"No, if she says she didn't then she didn't." Ginny assured.

"I kissed her Gin, I think she knows what she's doing. She won't even sleep with him." Harry said. I frowned.

"We aren't like that." Draco defended us.

"I think you need a good lay." Blaise commented. "You've been stressed lately."

"My girlfriend beats me in sports… that would make any man stressed."

"We're a good team." Luna defended.

"Yeah, you're amazing on the field." Draco said honestly. "I don't care, I don't want to mess things up… we're going good."

"Yeah, that and you don't want to push her in case she'll hold out longer." Everyone laughed. I frowned even more.

"She and I are fine going at this pace." Draco sighed. "I just love being with her."

"We love being with our girls too, but once the let us… you know… we've been on good terms." Harry said. "Isn't that right Ginny?"

"I wish I would have held out longer." She admitted. "If I could change anything, that would be it."

"Me too. All you men look at us like is a hole to stick it in." Luna agreed. I knew I loved my best friends.

"You're way more than a hole to stick it in." Blaise reassured.

"Yeah, we aren't always like that." I swallowed the laugh that arose. I stepped out, wiping my eyes. "The trouble maker is here."

"Shut your hole." I growled.

"How was sleep?"

"Good until I woke up." Ginny laughed with Luna… everyone laughed. I sat down on the floor by Draco's chair. I was so glad I brushed my teeth and fixed my face.

"So…" I looked at Blaise.

"Go ahead, keep talking about how I should put out." I joked. "Just warning you, pissing me off wouldn't be a good thing."

"And why would that be."

"My body is still going through withdraw and it's been almost a year since I've had a good lay… now, want to tick off the hormonal teen?" I stated simply, staring him straight on.

"No." he decided.

"Good answer." I leaned against Draco's leg. "So, I believe you left off how you only look at your girls as a hole to stick it in."

"Were you eavesdropping?"

"Yeah, I wasn't fully awake."

"That explains the no shoes." I looked at my zebra socks and frowned.

"I knew I forgot something." I looked under my tank top, my bra was there. "I remember a bra but no shoes." I sighed at my brain.

"It's better than no pants." I laughed at Luna.

"That it is." I agreed. "So, why was I supposed to meet you?"

"Well, we were wondering what time you wanted to get ready?"

"It's just after lunch so whenever. It starts at six thirty."

"Okay…" they weren't saying something.

"What?" I groaned.

"You never decided on an outfit." Luna muttered.

"Yes I did." I thought about the sexy outfit. The top was backless and black and I was wearing bright red holey jeans and black heels.

"Oh… we didn't see you decide."

"I know, the black and red outfit." Their eyes widened. "Yep."

"Damn." I shrugged. It was a damn worthy outfit. "So, you know what you'll look like?"

"Yep." I ran a hand through my hair. It looked like it was sex hair, tossed which way and what. I looked at my ring. It only leaves my finger during Quidditch. "So, what are we talking about?" I asked looking at them all.

"Why you won't just bed Malfoy yet." Blaise stated. I frowned.

"Are you not getting satisfaction in your sexual life that you need to know about mine?" I challenged.

"No, Malfoy is cranky and stressed… help us out and bed him." I glared at Harry.

"I don't even have something to say to that." I muttered. "I'm cranky and stressed too, but I'm not saying I need to be bed." I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest.

"You need it sweetie." I glared at Ginny.

"Why don't you mind your own sexual life?" Draco asked.

"We are, but you two have too much sexual tension." Luna shifted. "It's killing us." I sighed.

"It's our choice when to fuck." I replied.

"Have you made your decision then?" Harry asked looking at me.

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"My decision… aren't you following?" I feigned innocence. I stood up, wiping my butt off. "Well, I'm bored…" I looked around, going to a bookshelf and skimming the book titles.

"Malfoy, you made your decision?" I looked over my shoulder at Harry, glaring. "Stop staring and answer." I saw Draco tear his gaze away.

"Yes."

"Well, what are your decisions?" I just laughed it off, looking at another book. "Damn it, you can cut the tension with a knife." Blaise said.

"Ginny, Luna?" they looked at me. "Let's go, your boyfriends are annoying me." they laughed and stood up. I put the book on the shelf. "See ya." I kissed Draco's cheek, he again grabbed my hand, pulling me back. I fell down into his lap. "I fell." He chuckled, kissing me. I kissed him back eagerly. He ran his hands into my hair, pulling me impossibly close. I felt him against my bottom. I pulled back for air. He kissed my neck. I pushed him away. "No, I'm going to look good tonight without your bite marks and hickey's decorating my skin." I told him firmly. He laughed. I pushed myself up. I turned to Ginny and Luna. "Let's go." He reached for me again, but I dodged.

"See? Sexual tension." Harry whispered to Blaise, I flicked him off.

"He's right." Ginny said as we began to walk away.

"Who?" I asked.

"Harry and Blaise." I looked at Luna. "You need to fuck him." My mouth almost hit the floor at her bluntness. "I hope you plan too soon, I'm catching your itch." My face must have been as red as a tomato as we walked back to our room.

…

I stood, tapping my foot impatiently. They were walking so slow. I breathed a sigh of release as we met the boys. "Damn, I was going to die of old age at the speed they were walking." They boys chuckled. Heels were my specialty.

"Not all of us are supermodels." Luna grumbled.

"You aren't even wearing six inches…" I told them.

"Well what are we wearing?"

"Baby heels, four inch." They groaned.

"What are you wearing?"

"Five and a half." They looked at me as if I were crazy. "I'm trying to see how big of heels I need to even come close to Draco's height." I said, wrapping my arm around his waist. I saw Pansy walking with Theo towards us. I turned to Draco, kissing his cheek. She glared hard at me. I turned Draco's face to mine, kissing him lovingly. When I pulled away she stomped by us. I tried to hide my smirk.

"Really?" Harry asked amused.

"Showing her what's mine." I laughed. They all looked amused by my action. Draco slipped his arm around my waist, his hand inside my shirt. I giggled as he traced patterns on my hip. "Stop, I'm ticklish." I whispered in his ear. He continued. I nudged him with my elbow.

"You two are either unbearably cute or unbearably tense." Blaise noticed. I grinned.

"The mood changes." I shrugged. His fingers moved up higher. I grabbed his hand before he touched my breast, sliding it back down to my hip.

"Okay, we're going to head inside." They left us there. He turned to me.

"You're very possessive." He looked me over. I smirked.

"You are too." His hands went to my hips, pulling me closer. I grinned, our lips just inches apart. "I love when you possess me." I whispered.

"I know." He grinned. He laid a gentle kiss on my lips. "I love possessing you."

"I can't wait until you possess me in every way." I murmured before kissing his lips once more.

"Me either." He ran his hands over my body. I saw the heat in his eyes.

"We have to make an appearance." I reminded him, my body losing its control under his hands.

"I know." He grinned again. "Come on, we'll go dance." He pulled me in the beautiful decorated hall. We danced for a few minutes before I finally couldn't stand being that close to him. I grabbed his hand and pulled him over to where our friends sat.

"Sixty nine." I told Ginny and Luna. It meant I was doing it, making the move with Draco. They hooted. I grinned and pulled Draco along.

"What does that mean?" he asked as I pulled him towards my room. I told the portrait the password and entered with him. I turned to him, kissing him. I held my body close to his. His hands gripped my hips, holding me against him. I groaned when his hands roamed my body. I stopped when he went for my shirt.

"Not here." I panted. I grabbed his hand, pulling him up the stairs to my room. I put the stick note on the door and closed it, locking it. I walked over to him, pulling off his shirt.

"Are you sure?" he asked as I felt his chest.

"Positive." I whispered before kissing his chest and neck. I kissed up to his lips. His tongue mingled with mine. I kicked my heels off, letting him pull me towards my bed. He laid me down, looking me over. I grabbed my shirt, pulling it over my head. His eyes went to my bare chest, his hand lingering over my body. I lifted my leg, wrapping it around his middle, pulling him down to me. I kissed him passionately. I went for the button of his jeans, pushing them down. He pulled away and kicked them off. "You aren't graceful tonight Malfoy." I breathed. He chuckled before kissing me again.

"Neither are you." He said against my lips. He went for the button on my jeans, stripping them from my body. His lips left mine for a moment to finish pulling the jeans off before attacking my lips again. I groaned as I felt him against me. "It's been torture being able to not do this with you." He said against my neck. He kissed and sucked my skin, leaving marks for sure.

"Please." I whispered. He stood up, looking me over one more time before removing my lacy underwear. **Finally.** I internally screamed at the voice to go away. I let his eyes rake over me.

"So beautiful." I pushed myself to stand up before him. I slowly pushed the boxers down. "Princess." He muttered. I crawled back on my bed, lying before him. I reached my hand out for him. He crawled onto the bed, his knee between my thighs. He kissed my lips gently.

"After we do this… we won't get enough, you know that right?" I whispered as we stared at where we would soon be joined.

"I know, but I'm okay with that." I chuckled.

"Me too." I whispered. I bent my knees, levering myself. I wanted to watch this.

"It's been a year?" I nodded. "Are you sure?" he didn't want to hurt me, emotionally or physically. I smiled at him. I kissed him gently.

"I love you. I'm sure about this, about us, about everything…" I promised. He kissed me deeper, sliding into me. I moaned with him. We became one, we were one now. He was my world, our love stronger than anything. I bit into his shoulder as he did mine during release. I cried at the joy I felt with him. We were everything to each other. I was so happy to be his, I knew he would protect me no matter what. We made love for hours. When we finally fell into a happy bliss did I realize we didn't use protection. I silently cursed myself for it, but I was still happy. I lay content in his arms as we drifted to sleep.

**November:**

I wasn't pregnant, I was ecstatic at the news. I wasn't ready for that. Draco and I had been at it like bunnies though. We had sex as much as we could. We loved it. Draco and I were just changing to head to mum's and Cissy's dinner party. I had on a white tank that flowed and had black cursive, 'High heels, High Hopes' and I had on red skinny jeans and black heels. I put on my black leather jacket and purse. I looked at a waiting Draco. He wasn't hiding his mark from me anymore. I knew he had to do his task soon and I hated it. He planned to do it during Christmas break. It was St. Andrew's break and we had an extended weekend. "Are you finished yet?" he asked as I put on my lip gloss.

"Yes." I said, slipping on my necklaces he got me and my cross. I smiled. "Let's go." We stepped into the floo, the green flames eating us. I hated flooing, but it was the most efficient way to travel out of Hogwarts. We stepped into Malfoy Manor, being attacked by Cissy and mum. "What's going on?"

"Well, you haven't heard?" I shook my head.

"Sirius Black was killed earlier today." My body froze, Harry's god father. Harry was to destroy Voldemort… he would be broken. "The order is crumbling." I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"That sucks for them." I stated simply. Dumbledore had plans for me joining the order, said that Draco wanted to trade sides, but he had to complete his mission first. "Uh, have you heard from Harry?" I asked Draco. He shook his head. "This must be tough on him." Harry, Ron and Blaise may have been put in Slytherin, but they weren't bad, they were the best people I could know.

"Yeah… we can visit him later today after dinner." I nodded.

"We?" Cissy asked, looking hopeful. I nodded. "Finally." She squealed with happiness. I held up my left hand where the engagement ring sat. "Oh, it's beautiful."

"It is." Mum examined it. "How long have you been together?" I looked at Draco.

"Not a year, I think ten months…" I cocked my head to the side. He nodded.

"That sounds right."

"You didn't tell us." My mum whined.

"Yes, we know this. I have to actually go talk to someone… I'll be right back." I walked back to the floo. "Draco will tell you about it."

"Where are you going?"

"To say goodbye to a friend." I said as I disapparated. I apparated in the order's headquarters. I walked towards the kitchen, seeing Harry crying in Ginny's arms. "I just heard." He looked up at me.

"Bellatrix did it." Harry seethed. "Draco's aunt killed him."

"I- I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Is he a death eater?" Harry asked. His eyes angry. I hesitated.

"His father sold Draco to save himself. Draco wants to fight with you…"

"That doesn't answer my question." He yelled at me.

"Yes, Draco is a death eater." I whispered painfully.

"Why are you with him?" Ginny demanded.

"I love him. I will stick by his side Gin. He and I are going to join the order. He has to do a mission before Dumbledore lets him though." I knew Harry and Dumbledore were close. He watched over him.

"What's his mission?"

"I can't say." I apologized. "I'm so sorry Harry."

"I'm tired of people being sorry. Sorrow won't bring him back, killing Voldemort won't either."

"I know." I whispered.

"You don't know this pain." He said bitterly. "You haven't lost anything." He snarled at me.

"I have… I guess you wouldn't know about that though." I chuckled dryly at him. "My sister was murdered by a death eater in front of me." I didn't like to think about it. I was so young at the time. That's when I was taken to Draco's for the first time. "I know the pain Harry. I promise I will help you get revenge on those sick fuck."

"Draco really wants to switch sides?" he asked.

"He was sold to be evil. He isn't evil. He wouldn't be able to hurt a fly." I promised. "I'll see you later this weekend." I got ready to disapparate. "I love you guys." I left, returning to Malfoy Manor. I looked at Draco. "Don't go near Harry for a while." I said softly.

"You went to see him?" I nodded.

"Sirius was killed by Bellatrix."

-X-X-X-

I sat in Dumbledore's office. I watched him assess me. "I want to join."

"I know, they're waiting for you." He said. I looked at his hand, the disease was spreading. "Let's go." He led me to the floo, stepping in with me. Green surrounded us, taking us to the headquarters. I stepped out into the place I stood just a few days before hand. Lupin looked at me.

"Ms. Granger." He nodded his respect. "Come this way." He led me to where the order was waiting. "Take one sip of this." They handed me veritaserum. I took a sip, grimacing at the disgusting taste. "Let's begin."

"Are you associated with you know who?" Mad eye asked.

"No." I said without hesitation.

"Is it true your fiancée is a death eater?"

"Yes."

"Why do you want to fight with us?" I looked at Lupin.

"They killed my sister and took my fiancée."

"What do you mean took?"

"He's not himself. He has Voldemort crawling through his head." I explained.

"Do you swear not to deceive us?"

"I swear."

"Let the real questions begin."

…

Three hours and a promise later I was back at Hogwarts. I had a sear on my arm, marking me as part of the order. I walked to dinner and sat with Ginny and Luna. They looked down, so did the quad. I picked at my food, not speaking. I walked with the group to the library afterwards.

"Where were you?" he asked, kissing my fingertips. I looked into his steely gaze before I turned away.

"I was with Dumbledore." I said simply.

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Did they let you?" I knew we had everyone's attention now. I pulled up my oxford's sleeve, showing the sear on my arm. "That looks painful." He whispered, tracing the mark.

"It was at the time." I looked at Harry, he looked pissed at Draco. "I think it's time." I whispered, leaning my head against his. "Come." I stood up, holding my hand out for him.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked.

"Well, we've been at it like bunnies…" I hinted. "We'll see you later." I pulled him out of the room, we walked to the room of requirement where the death eaters would come in at. I gripped his hand tightly. "Don't let them hurt me." I whispered before opening the door.

"Never. We're together and we'll stay that way." He kissed me roughly.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He opened the door and we entered. I walked to the cabinet and opened the door. Out stepped four death eaters.

"Malfoy." I cringed at her voice.

"Aunt Bella." He smiled at her, it was tight, but still there. He took me back into his arms. "Let's go." He and I led them, Snape meeting us. I tried to stay strong, but I wanted to cry at the fact that Draco was about to murder. We found Dumbledore in the clock tower. "Stay here baby."

"Nice try." I said. He sighed and we stepped up to where he looked out over all of Hogwarts. I looked down at the ground, I saw Harry and Ginny standing under there. I saw the anger and betrayal in their eyes.

"Dumbledore." Draco barked. He turned to us, his sad face. He looked us all over.

"Come here to kill me?" he asked gently. Draco looked at me.

"Do the honors?"

"Expelliarmus." I shouted, his wand flying towards me. I picked it up, putting it in between my jeans and hip. "Draco baby, it's your turn." I stepped back, keeping my sadistic face on.

"I'm going to kill you Dumbledore… any last word?"

"There it lies with the princess." He sounded so wise.

"Whatever the hell that means." Bellatrix cackled. "Do it Draco, make me proud. Make your father proud." I went into Draco's mind, the fear there. I felt him readying himself. I stepped behind him.

"Do it." I whispered sadistically.

"Avada Kedavra." He yelled. The green light flashed out, striking him. It was like slow motion, he fell to the floor with no sound. His body lying there with despair. I wanted to cry for him but I just laughed. I took Draco's hand.

"You did it baby." I congratulated. I kissed him deeply.

"Dumbledore is dead." Bella shouted over and over as we headed to the gates of Hogwarts.

"CRUCIO." Draco doubled over in pain. I looked at Harry. Stupid move.

"Crucio." Harry dropped screaming in pain. I enjoyed the pain I caused people, that was the trick. I lifted the curse. "Stay down where you belong." I snarled at him. "Expelliarmus." His wand flew out of his hand to the side. I bent to whisper in his ear. "Lupin knows the plan." He met my eyes.

"Dumbledore trusted you two." I smirked.

"That's where he went wrong." I spat. I stood back up, taking Draco's hand. "Tell everyone that Dumbledore has fallen. The dark lord is coming." I smirked as his face contorted in disbelief.

"Hear that boy? You're to die soon." Bella laughed. I laughed with her. I knew I gained her trust when I told Draco to do it. "Let's go." We walked with them to the gates. As we left I knew one thing, Harry Potter would soon go to Lupin, tell him of my deceit and then Lupin would tell him it's part of the plan. Harry would do the only thing he can… kill everyone in his way.


	9. He's gone

**Spring…**

The war has been going on for three years strong. Draco and I have killed hundreds of people. It was what was expected of us. I had no feelings for those who have died. It was them or my children. Yes, children. I had twin boys that were two years old and a daughter that was just nine months younger than them. They were wild children. We loved them to death though. They weren't raised in the war. They weren't being taught who was dirty and who wasn't. They cared for people equally… well their parents more, but still. I held Noelani in my arms, humming her to sleep. Her name meant 'beautiful one from heaven'. I thought it fit. It was a miracle she survived, she was stunning. "Baby." I kissed Draco on his lips lovingly.

"Adonis! Drake!" I called. The two little boys screamed and ran to their father. He scooped them up, kissing them on their heads. "Is it time?" he nodded. I stood, grabbing the baby bag. He held onto me as we disapparated to the burrow. Molly was with everyone. We had one day until Voldemort would go to Hogwarts. Everyone just stared at us. We had done what we had to survive.

"Who are these?" Molly spoke first, coming towards Noelani.

"This is Noelani." I let her take her. She was sleeping so it should be fine. "Those are the evil twins." I said, tickling their sides. "Adonis and Drake." Draco set them down. "I wouldn't let him name one directly after him." I explained. "But the name means the same as his. Adonis is Greek… he's loved by the goddess of love." I knew they all held resentment towards me for killing, but because of me so many were saved. Draco and I still weren't married, but we planned to be after the war.

"Hermione." Luna stepped out, her eyes dead.

"Hey." I smiled at them. "How have you been?"

"Awful, I'm in the middle of war." She said coldly. "My best friend betrayed me and everyone else she cared for and now she walks in like it was nothing."

"I did what I had to. I saved hundreds, so did Draco." I told her firmly. "Don't be mad at us. I'm part of the Order." I whispered.

"No, if you were you wouldn't have let Dumbledore die."

"He was dying anyway. That's why he didn't put up a fight. He was infected by a horocrux that he destroyed. It had spread when we went to kill him."

"You're lying." Harry said.

"No I'm not. Only Snape and I knew about it… he was going to die before Hogwarts would finish the school year." Draco was physically relieved at the revelation. "Harry, I didn't do anything to hurt you… neither did Draco. We were told what to do and we did it."

"You killed hundreds."

"Yes, but we saved thousands… including Ginny and Luna one night." I reminded him. "Don't act like you don't know how it is. I've betrayed the one person that holds my life in his hand. I made him trust me. I killed to do your work." I yelled at him. "I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do." I argued.

"Killing isn't right." He argued back.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" I asked. "What are we all doing tomorrow?"

"We'll be fighting Volde-" I cut him off, covering his mouth.

"He's put a hex on his name. Don't say it."

"I'll be killing him." He said.

"It's alright to kill him?"

"He's killed thousands of people, including my parents."

"So, he's still a person… a fucked up one, but still a person." I said. He had nothing to say. "Tomorrow you will become a murderer as will everyone in this room that fights."

"No, they don't have to kill."

"They will when the death eaters and followers are shouting Avada at you." I promised. "It's us or them… choose your side."

"You know what side I'm on."

"Then stop pretending like you won't be a murder once you destroy him." I spat. I was fuming. I took deep breaths. "We didn't come to fight you, we came to fight them. I also had a vision…"

"What was it?" all my visions have been spot on recently.

"Almost everyone in this room will die." I whispered. "I don't like knowing what will happen."

"We can change it… tell us who exactly dies."

"I can't tell you who exactly. They're meant to die." Harry pointed his wand at my neck, holding my shirt. "You really think I won't kill you if you piss me off enough?" I challenged. I saw the debate in his eyes. "I know who you're really asking about… she won't die." He released me. "You will though." I said. He looked me over.

"No I won't."

"Yes you will. You have to die in order to kill him." He looked pale. "You were never meant to be in Slytherin, you, Ron, or Blaise… you were meant to be a Gryffindor." I said. "The sorting hat kept you together so you would someday fight together against him." I noted his eyes, they were dead but so alive. "You'll die. No one can stop it and when the time comes you will go to him and let him kill you."

"No." he looked scared to leave Ginny. I laughed.

"You have to Harry." I told him seriously. "I promise you if you die at his hand that you will come back." I watched him debate whether to trust me. "I'll make an unbreakable vow."

"You're serious." I nodded.

"I want you going in knowingly." I told him seriously. "It wasn't that long ago that it was us goofing off in Hogwarts and making sexual jokes at each other… mixed blood or not." He smiled a little. "Has Lupin had his child?" I asked.

"Tonks gave birth yesterday." He said shocked.

"He asked you to be the godfather?" he nodded. "Good, good."

"I don't like that you aren't letting us in on things." He frowned.

"If I told you exactly who died, would you try and save them?" he nodded, not hesitating. "That's why I can't. They have to die in order for the dark lord to."

"You don't care that our men or women will die?"

"Not if it means _he_ dies too."

…

I kissed my children goodbye. I waved and left them with the house elf, Dobby. I kissed his head. "Take care of them."

"I promise misses Malfoy." He bows. "Dobby happy to serve." I laughed and grinned. I wrapped my arms around Draco's waist. We disapparated to meet the others. We were inside the grounds, everyone shooting protection blocks up to help keep up the wards. It looked like shooting stars. I saw Ginny and Luna hugging their probably fiancées before battle I looked at them both seriously.

"You two need to be careful." I looked them straight on. "I don't want to have to carry your bodies away okay?" I had tears in your eyes. "You're the few I actually care about." I whispered. They hugged me. "I'm sorry it was like this."

"Us too." They sniffled. "Are we going to die?" I looked at their scared eyes.

"No… Bella will try to kill you though…" I looked at Ginny. "Don't fight back though, you'll like what your mom does." I promised, laughing. She looked confused. "Your mother will swear… very loudly. I'm sorry." I whispered. They didn't ask for what, they didn't want to know why. I looked up at the wards. "I'm going to kill even more today aren't I?" I looked at Draco. He nodded grimly. I kissed him deeply. "I love you baby."

"I love you too." He whispered. He wiped my tears away. "We'll be getting married after this. Don't stop fighting… I don't want to be a single parent."

"Same to you." I whispered. I kissed him one last time as the shouting began. The wards broke. "Don't worry about me and I won't you."

"Got it." He released me as we headed for the front. Their followers charged the castle. Curses were thrown, hexes too. I screamed the killing curse over and over, apparating and disapparting to dodge. I never expected to get trapped. Crabbe held me by my neck. I spit in his eyes. He dropped me, stupid mistake. I knew Ginny and Luna were watching me after their kills. I grabbed Crabbe's head, snapping it to the right. A sickening crack echoing in my ears. I dropped him and moved to the next ones. I killed for the past three years, I stopped feeling. I heard my leader bellow out in pain. Good job Harry. He killed Nagini. He was the last horocrux now.

_ 'Harry Potter.'_ Everyone stopped fighting to listen. _'I'm pulling back my army. Meet me in the Forbidden Forrest and I will surrender. We will wait one hour, if you don't show up I will kill everyone in my way to you.'_ Everyone from their side had retreated. I knew this meant that we would get to see the damage. I walked to the Great Hall. I saw George laying back, holding his ear. He was sobbing. I knew why. I swallowed my sorrow. I walked over to the sorrowful Weasley's.

"Is this what you meant by you couldn't tell us?" George demanded. "You cared for him at some point. You got him killed." He yelled at me. Draco stepped forward but I stopped him.

"I didn't get him killed George." I whispered. "Fred wasn't… he wasn't supposed to be one that died. He must of made a mistake." I looked down at him. "Have you found Tonks and Lupin yet?" I asked.

"What do you mean… yet?" Harry asked.

"They died." I whispered. "So did Mad Eye and Creevy." I said.

"They didn't deserve to die." George said. "You do." I hung my head.

"Don't you think I know this? Do you think I'm that stupid?" I demanded. "Ever since I knew Draco was a death eater I knew I would be like him. I don't need to be reminded." I spat. "I'm sorry for Fred. I had nothing to do with it."

"You knew who was going to die." He exclaimed.

"He wasn't supposed to die, you were." I yelled right back. "Fred died saving you didn't he?" he nodded. "Well, your brother loves you. Not loved, loves." I said. "You were spared because he loved you. You'll make it through life though, I promise you that." I said bitterly.

"Am I to go yet?" Harry asked. I looked at him.

"You better hurry. If you do only fifty more will die." I urged. "We'll see you in a bit." I said softly. He hugged me, he trusted me. I hugged him back. "Hagrid will carry you back. Once your back Voldemort will make a speech… then reveal yourself." He nodded. "Go." He ran off to die for us. I watched him leave us all behind. I turned back to everyone that was still alive. "Get to the front. Now." I stated simply. Draco and I left them behind and walked to the grand staircase. "I hate knowing what they don't." I whispered.

"I know baby." He kissed me gently. "Does it hurt knowing Fred died?"

"Yes. I may have only dated him for a few weeks… but I still cared about him." I leaned my forehead against his. "I hate that I'm a murderer."

"I hate it too."

"Aunt Bella is supposed to die at Molly's hand… but I'm seriously thinking about killing her myself." I said angrily. "We only have a few minutes." I whispered.

"I love you Hermione. I love you and our children more than life itself." He whispered painfully.

"I know. I love you too. I love both of you more than life." I looked up into his dark eyes. "Our lives are going to be so easy after this."

"I can't wait." I smiled.

"Me either."

…

We watched them approach. Draco and I stood near the back, away from them. Hagrid held the dead Harry Potter in his arms. I saw tears streaming from Ginny's eyes. She really hoped I was right about this. I really hoped I was right about this. "I've conquered everything." He announced. "The boy who lived is dead." Voldemort looked so proud. His sickly skin and dead eyes almost flashing with happiness. "I'll give you one last chance to join my side." I watched as no one moved. "Draco? Hermione?" everyone moved to the side. This was part of the plan. "I want to thank you for cheating them." He said, looking at us. "You sent me the only one that could ever hurt me. You two are my most important apprentices." We walked over to their side, watching the hate in their eyes. "Now, anyone want to follow the right side?" his voice was disgusting. I gripped Draco's hand tightly. I looked at Ginny, seeing her hateful eyes. A puny pale nerd stepped forward. "I was hoping for someone more… capable, but I guess you're alright." We all laughed at him.

"No, we have to fight." The boy said to the other side. "Harry fought, he died for us. We need to fight." I smirked at his ambition. I felt bad that he was about to die.

"Granger?" I looked at Voldemort.

"Yes master?" I purred. He touched the side of my face, his hands grossly cold.

"Kill him." He whispered. I looked at the boy. It was only another soul on my conscious. The boy reminded me of Neville. I took my wand from my black designer boot. I took a deep breath, my last kill. "**Do it.**" That was my voice. The voice in my head was his. "**Now.**"

"Avada Kedavra." The boy fell to the floor. I knew the feelings they had towards me now. Voldemort laughed maniacally. Everyone laughed with him… including me.

"Good girl." He praised me. I smiled my thanks. I knew Draco's hand was in pain because he grunted. I slid my wand back into my boot and waited for Harry. "Now… anyone else have anything to say?" he challenged. No one stepped forward thank Merlin. "Kill them all." he ordered us.

"Stop." Harry screamed. He stood with Hagrid. I breathed a silent breath of release. "We're going to finish this how it started Voldemort."

"How…?" he looked stunned… as did everyone else.

"Avada Kedavra." He aimed at Voldemort. Voldemort cast the same spell, the power fighting. I took Draco's hand and pulled him away. I watched in amazement. Harry was stronger than before. I heard Ginny scream. I looked to see Bella using the unforgivable that haunted me for years.

"Aunt Bella." I muttered, grabbing my wand. I walked over to her, tearing her away. "No one touches my sister." I said slowly. She cackled.

"She's filth Hermione. She's just like the filth you killed on the streets." She argued. "Kill her like old times." I gripped my wand harder. "Kill her." I stepped forward aiming my wand at Ginny.

"Crucio." I turned to Bella. She screamed in pain. I smiled at the tortured. I pulled the curse from her. She laughed.

"Traitor." She cackled. I back handed her.

"Shut up bitch." I spat. "Avada Kedavra." The green light took over her. I let her body thump, turning back to Ginny. "Are you alright?" I asked.

"I thought you were actually going to kill me." she whispered.

"No. I don't like killing." I admitted. "I wouldn't hurt my sister." I promised. I looked around for Luna. She was on the ground a few feet away, Blaise fighting the death eater. "Avada Kedavra." I pointed at the death eater. He fell to the ground. Blaise looked at me as if I saved their lives. I rushed over to Luna. I shook her gently. "Did she get hit?" I asked him.

"No." he whispered. he was checking her pulse and everything. I shook her.

"Wake up." I cried. "Wake up." I begged. I haven't cried in years. I shook her harder, getting no response. "Who the fuck hurt her?" I demanded, my neck around his throat. I heard the familiar cackle. I looked at Goyle and Leerick. I stood up, walking towards them. "Crucio." Goyle doubled over in pain. I cast silent curses on Leerick. "Did you kill her?" I demanded.

"No." Leerick spat.

"Really? Why isn't she responding?" I demanded. Goyle squirmed in pain. "WHY?" I yelled.

"We don't know." Goyle screamed out. I pulled the silent curse from Leerick. I kicked him in the lower area.

"Avada Kedavra." Goyle's body thumped on the ground. I turned to Leerick. "You don't touch my family." I bit out, snapping his neck. I looked back at Luna and them. I bent next to her, slipping my wand away. "Is she responding?"

"Yeah, she's coming too." I cried. She looked at us confusedly.

"I thought I lost you." I cried, hugging her. Ginny watched us.

"Oh my…" I looked at Blaise, wiping my tears. Black powder was falling like snow around us. I felt an immense brick being lifted from my shoulders.

"It's over." I whispered. I looked around for Draco. I didn't see him anywhere…

…

I stared out the window of the Great Hall. I hadn't found Draco anywhere. I spent hours looking for him. I didn't talk to anybody. The Weasley's tried to talk to me, my friends tried to talk to me… I just couldn't make a noise. He was gone. I didn't cry. You don't cry when you're sad. It's a weakness. Draco always told me that when things during the war got tough. "Hermione?" I turned my head, looking at Ginny. I returned to the window. "Please talk. I'm sure he's fine." She reassured. I whipped around on her and Harry.

"Thank you for your help." Harry said gratefully. I glared at them both, they didn't know. My walls were breaking down. "I'm sure he's okay."

"Hermione." I looked at Luna. "He's fine. He's strong. He wouldn't leave you here alone." A tear dropped. I wiped it hastily away.

"You know if I wouldn't have helped you… he would still be here."

-X-X-X-

I looked at our children as I packed the boxes. The war has been over for a month and I can't stay here any longer. I touched the framed photo of us after Noelani was born. I packed it away. Ginny and Harry apparated. I looked at my children. "Take them." I whispered.

"Do you want to say goodbye?" they were going to take the children while I finished packing the manor. I shook my head. I could barely look at the children. Cissy and mum tried to make me forget… but I couldn't. "Okay." They left with them. I moved to Draco and I's room. I went to the closet, pulling one of his oxfords off the hanger. I inhaled his scent. I walked back to the room, laying down on my side, clutching the shirt to my chest.

"You promised." I screamed. "You promised you wouldn't leave." I screamed, finally breaking. I sobbed. My chest hurt so much. I wasn't sure I can survive this. "WHY?" I sobbed, inhaling his scent. I was numb inside. I felt nothing but pain in this house. I felt pain looking at our children. I stood up, wiping my tears. I paced back and forth. I grabbed a vase, throwing it at the door. It opened the door, shattering into thousands of pieces. I kept throwing things. "I hate you." I screamed as another vase shattered against the wall across from our room. I shook visibly. "DOBBY." I screamed. He appeared.

"Miss is sad." He noticed. "How can Dobby help? Dobby glad to help."

"You can only help if you can bring Draco back." I told him.

"How do you know he is gone?"

"It has been a month and no one has heard from him." I said simply, tears in my eyes once more. "Leave." He left. I slid down the wall across from our bed, staring at it as silent tears streaked my face. I never thought a person could really die of heartbreak… I take it back. I was dying. I felt it in my body, my soul. I stared at the bed, the bed in which our children were conceived, the bed where we had made love repeatedly, and the bed I gave birth in twice while he let me break his hand with my grip. I wanted to burn it. I took my wand from my boot. "Incendio." The bed lit on fire. Everything that mattered to me had a protection spell on it. The bed didn't matter to me. I watched it as it burned, tears still streaking my face. The fire spread to the Manor itself. I didn't move as the smoke polluted the air. I let my body go slack. I felt my life slipping away from me. The last thing I remember is disapparating from the Manor in the arms of the faceless traitor.


	10. I want a divorce

**Summer:**

I opened my eyes. I looked around me. I was in a white room. I looked at the man at the window. "Draco?" I asked. He turned to me, his face grim.

"You're awake." I shook my head.

"This is a lie. You're dead." I whispered. I felt the tears prickly in my eyes again. He walked over to me, caressing my cheek. I turned my face, kissing his hand. "Stop… you're dead." I whispered as he tucked my hair behind my ear.

"Are you sure about that?" he whispered. I felt a tear leak over the edge. "You called me here." He met my eyes.

"Am I…" I let out a shaky breath. "Am I dead?" I whispered.

"I don't know… are you? Why would you risk your life?" he sat on the bed next to me.

"I have nothing to live for anymore." I said, tears streaking down my face. He wiped them away.

"What about our children?" he asked, hurt almost.

"Is it bad that I can't look at them?" I cried. "I can't look at them without wanting to kill them or me." I whispered, feeling the tears drop onto my cheeks.

"You need to fight for them."

"I don't want to leave you." I cried. My heart hurt so much. "I want to stay here, with you."

"Our children need their mother." He whispered. I knew that he was right, but I love him. I don't… I can't lose him again.

"You promised not to leave me a single parent. You promised to stay here with me." I sobbed. "You said you would never leave." He held me as I cried. "You told me we would get married… that we would finally get what we worked so hard for." I cried into his chest. "I'm a murderer, no one wants me." I sobbed. He tilted my face up to his.

"I want you." He kissed me gently.

"It doesn't matter, you're dead." I cried. He kissed away my tears. The scene around me faded. "No!" I reached for him. "You promised." He was fading.

"I kept my promises."

-X-X-X-

My life went back to normal. It has been five years and I worked as the Defense professor at Hogwarts, my children lived there and were learning with the other students as an exception, and I haven't spoken to any of my old friends since I was saved from my suicide. I was even working with the ministry with declaring Draco dead. They wanted to search one last time for him. They sent me letters from everywhere the checked. I just threw them out. It was a week before school started back up. Adonis and Drake were seven and growing fast, their six year old sister, Noelani, was a tiny perfection. "Mummy." Noelani ran into my bedroom. The manor had been restored and we lived there currently. Our bedroom was locked off to everyone. I stayed in the guest room in the opposite wing.

"Yes baby?" I asked, picking her up.

"Ginny wants us to go to her house." I let them, but I wouldn't talk to them, I would drop them off and pick them up, that was it.

"Really?" I strained out.

"Yes." She nodded eagerly. I set her down and walked to my closet.

"Let me get dressed and I will take you." I slid on some yellow skinny jeans and a black oversized tank. I put on my leather jacket and put my purse on. I walked back out to the three children arguing. "Do you want to go or not?" I asked sliding on my sunglasses. They all nodded and walked over, holding on. I apparated at the burrow.

"Will you come in with us?" Adonis asked.

"Please." Drake begged. I hesitated. I could still barely look at them, but it was getting better. They reminded me so much of him.

"Okay." I let them drag me inside. Everyone was busy, moving around and things. They all stopped when I entered.

"Hermione." Ginny smiled at me.

"Hello everyone." I took off my glasses, hiding them away.

"How are you?" Molly hugged me.

"Fine." It was stiff. It's been years since I was back here.

"We heard about you setting the manor on fire." Harry whispered. I looked down at the kids.

"Go play, huh?" they nodded and ran off. They were sitting at the table, I slowly sat down too. "Yeah… that was years ago."

"We know, it's been years since we've talked." Ron said gently, Lavender Brown on his lap.

"Why'd you do it?" Ginny asked. "You did it right after the kids were gone… we're you trying to get killed?" I looked at the table with guilt pumping through me. "We told you that Draco didn't leave you." She sounded so betrayed.

"You don't know what it's like Ginny." I screamed. "You don't know what it was like waking up in that bed and smelling him. We don't even go near that part of the house now."

"You killing yourself was the way out?" she yelled back.

"Yes." I screamed. "I needed to get away from everyone." I said quietly. "I can't look at my own children… I couldn't live anymore. I was… I am dead from the inside out. I just thought I'd finish it. I would have left you the kids and the money for them when they were mature enough to handle it."

"You were willing to leave your children." She had disgust radiating off of her. I had tears in my eyes.

"Yes… I was. Until I was saved." I sniffled. "I rather have those children which are half of him then none at all. If I was dead with him, he would hate me for leaving our children." I wiped away my tears. "Whenever I used to cry, Draco would kiss the tears and tell me that crying is weak, that I'm supposed to fight when I'm sad or scared. So, I'm following his advice." I wiped away more tears.

"It hurts, but you have to keep moving…" Ginny took my hand. "I promise it will be better soon."

-X-X-X-X-

I walked to the front of my class. It was Halloween time again and they were all excited. "Okay class." They all looked forward. "Since it is a holiday weekend… do you want to do anything special?" I offered. They all chatted, trying to find something. One raised their hand. "Yes?"

"Can you tell us about the war?" I was the only teacher to deny telling them anything. I sat back on the platform that ran through my class.

"What do you want to know?" everyone raised their hands. "Black?" he stood.

"Professor Malfoy, is it true you have the dark mark?" I felt my throat tighten.

"Yes it is." I cleared my throat. I called on the next student.

"Professor… why did you take the dark mark?" a girl asked.

"I… um… I was with my husband at the time, he… uh… his father sold him to the dark lord to save his own butt… I took the mark so Voldemort wouldn't know I was betraying him." I cleared my throat again. A slytherin male stood up, blonde hair. He even looked like him.

"You sold yourself to the dark lord because you loved your husband?" he clarified. His voice was snarky too.

"Uh…" I was having trouble thinking.

"Are you okay Professor?" I looked for who was talking. The dark cloaked figure stood in the door way. He dropped his hood.

"Class is dismissed." I mumbled. "Now." they all left, past him. "Stupefy." He fell to the floor. I walked over to him, grabbing him by the throat. I apparated to the burrow. He rubbed his head. I stood from my place, wand pointed at him. I looked at the shocked Weasley's and Zabini's. "Who is it?" I demanded. They all looked so guilty. "Which one of you sick fucks did this?" I demanded, tears in my eyes.

"It's really him." Harry said, standing. An owl flew in the kitchen with elegance and grace, dropping a letter onto the table. "It's for you." Harry handed it to me. I checked the stamp. It was from them. I handed it back.

"Chuck it." I said firmly, my wand pointed at the sick fuck.

"It's from the Ministry." He said.

"Fine, read it then." I rolled my eyes angrily.

"_Dear Mrs. Malfoy, We are writing to inform you that we have found your husband and that your request has been denied. He will be sent to you immediately. Good luck._" They all looked at me.

"What was your request?" Draco asked.

"For permission to declare you dead and be a widow." I explained.

"Why didn't you look for me?"

"I tried… but I'm tired Draco. It's been five years, three months, twenty three days and…" I checked my watch. "Ten hours since I found out you were supposedly dead. I'm tired of taking weekends off and searching for you when I should be with our kids." I knew what I looked like, dead. "I was so ready to give up… I still am." I admitted, blinking away tears. "I'm really tired of fighting. You always said to fight when your sad or scared." He nodded. "I haven't had one moment when I was fighting."

"Princess." He took a step towards me, I raised my wand once more.

"Just sign the parchment Draco." I whispered, pulling the divorce papers from my robe. I handed them to him.

"I don't want to lose you." He had tears in his eyes.

"You did five years ago… when you decided to run instead of coming home." I spat angrily.

"I love you Hermione." He argued. "I had to free my name. I killed Dumbledore, I had to free my name." I stared at him, my Malfoy guard up.

"Okay, sign where there are X's and initial where it has an arrow." I said simply. He looked at the papers in his hand, crumpling them and throwing them into the fire.

"No." he stood his ground.

"Fine, once I'm done with you… no one will find you." I promised.

"Is that a threat?" he challenged.

"No…" I smirked. "It's a promise."

"You can't murder again Hermione." Ginny said. "Look who you need to protect." Adonis, Drake and Noelani stood watching me.

"Mommy?" Noelani stepped forward.

"Hey baby." I kissed her blonde ringlets softly.

"Why are you threatening Daddy?" Drake asked.

"Have you and daddy been talking?" I asked, looking him straight in the eye. He nodded.

"We talk every day."

"For how long?"

"Since you left us with Molly mama." He explained. I swallowed.

"I want you to take your sister upstairs and close the door."

"Why mommy?"

"Remember when we give mom privacy?" they nodded. "It's one of those things."

"Will you be sad again mom?" I looked at Adonis.

"What do you mean baby?"

"We hear you in yours and daddy's room crying." Adonis said. "You cry every night mommy." I didn't know they could hear.

"I'm sorry baby, I won't be sad. I'm happy, see?" I grinned a fake smile.

"Okay." Noelani's hands were taken by her brothers as they left. I ran my hands over my face. I waited until I heard the door shut.

"Silencio." I cast upon the room. I looked back at Draco. "YOU TALKED TO OUR FUCKING CHILDREN, BUT NOT YOUR WIFE?" I screeched, tears spilling freely. "YOU LET ME BELIEVE YOU WERE DEAD FOR FIVE FUCKING YEARS DRACO MALFOY. YOU LET ME CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP." I screamed. "Why didn't you choose to come and talk to me? I'm your wife Draco. Me, not your fucking kids. Me."

"Would you have let me go if I did?"

"Yes." I screamed. "I would have. You have nothing to worry about Draco." I cried.

"I killed Dumbledore."

"I killed thousands. You killed not even a hundred people. I teach some of the kids of the people I killed, the relatives. They know who I am, they want to kill me. I beg them too and they take pity." I snarled.

"You can't just leave our children. And catching our home on fire?" he yelled. It dawned on me.

"You're the traitor." I accused. "You didn't give me what I wanted."

"I wasn't letting you leave our children… they've barely had a mother." I felt the tears wetting my cheeks. "You had to stay with them. They have more of a family here, then anywhere else." I looked at the Weasley's.

"Did you all know he was alive?" I demanded. They nodded. I looked at Ginny. "I…" I could barely breathe. "I… I… uh… um…" I broke off. "I hate you."

"No you don't." Ginny whispered.

"I do though. Draco can read my mind. He is doing so right now, he knows I'm telling the truth." He must have nodded, for Ginny had tears in her eyes. "I'm leaving, with MY children. If any of you come near them again I will kill you." I promised, meeting their eyes. "Finite Silencio." I put my wand away, wiping my tears. "Adonis, Drake, and Noelani?" I called sweetly. They all ran down the stairs.

"Yes mummy?" Noelani hopped in my arms.

"We're leaving." I looked at the two boys, they cocked their heads to the sides.

"Why? We thought you would be happy daddy is back." My body stiffened.

"I am." I lied. They smiled, the world was right again. They walked after me. I turned to him. _Don't bother trying to talk to me again Draco. I hate you too._ I apparated back to Hogwarts with my children.

"You aren't happy with daddy are you?" Noelani asked.

"No. He lied to mommy and when you love someone more than anything… you don't lie." I whispered.

"He loves you mommy."

-X-X-X-X-

They didn't listen to my threat, they kept trying to contact me, every try unsuccessful. "Mummy?" I looked at Adonis who was kicking and punching the air.

"Yeah baby?"

"When is daddy coming home?" he stopped, Drake looking at me too.

"I'm not sure." it was slightly honest, well it was a lie. He was never coming home, not while there was air in my lungs.

"I hope it's soon." Drake sighed, laying on the platform. I smiled at the child.

"Professor Malfoy?" I looked up at the person who said my name. Liana was standing in the door way. "Are the children ready?" I nodded. She was a third year babysitting for me. I kissed my kids goodbye as they left. I went back to grading the reports.

"Hermione?" I looked up. Draco stood in the doorway. I looked him over. "May I come in?" I shrugged, going back to the papers. "I love you Hermione and I'm really… really sorry." I ran a hand through my hair. "Please say something." He begged. I set my quill down, leaning back in my chair.

"What do you want me to say Draco?" I whispered. "Do you just want me to pretend like all those lonely nights never happened? That none of those tears happened?" I asked. "I can't do that. I can't forget that you left me to raise our children alone." I stood up. I was done for the weekend. I looked at him. "You may tag along if you'd like." I walked outside of the classroom, locking the door. I turned back to him. "I have to apparate home."

"I'll come with you." I hesitated. It was his home too.

"Fine." I apparated back home, in my room. I walked towards the closet, him just sitting in the chair in the corner.

"Why aren't you in our room?" he asked while I changed into my comfy clothes.

"No one is allowed in the west wing." I said simply, pulling my hair up into a bun. Liana would return the children later tonight, so I could relax.

"Why?" he sounded angry. I stepped back out into my room.

"I hate the west wing." I cleared my throat. "Why are you here?" I asked, getting to the point.

"I want you to take me back. I'm empty without you." I just stared at him. It was painful. I hated him so much for leaving but I loved him too. I couldn't just forgive and forget. I just don't know who he is anymore. "Princess."

"Stop it." I yelled. "Just stop, it has been five years Draco. I'm not the same person anymore."

"Princess, I'm willing to wait for you."

"Draco." I whispered, tears coming to my eyes. "I'm going to say this once, and only once…" tears began to spill over my eyelashes. "I've moved on Draco. I got tired of hoping when you went missing, I am tired of this fight that is happening over and over again in my head… I just want it to end." I walked over to my purse, grabbing the parchments. I held them for him to take, as he took them I instantly recognized pain and agony etch itself into his perfect face. "I'm serious about this Draco, I want a divorce."


End file.
